Of Love And Trust
by Dmarx
Summary: Takes place after Countdown. Castle and Beckett finally talk about their undercover kiss, what it truly meant to both of them, and where they want to go from here. Story is now complete with an epilogue!
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: Takes place after Countdown. Castle and Beckett finally talk about their undercover kiss, what it truly meant to both of them, and where they want to go from here. __Spoilers for Knockdown, Setup, and Countdown._

_Author's Note: I'm new to the site so this is my first Castle fic. __I'm going off the promo pics for Setup and Countdown and assuming that Kate and Josh break up._

_Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Castle or anything related to it._

**Chapter 1 **

Kate Beckett dried the last few dishes and then flopped down on the couch to try to calm her nerves. Castle was on his way over for a night of burgers, milkshakes, and movies. It had been a stressful week. This last case had been one of the most high-stakes cases of her life, and to top it off, she and Josh had ended things a few days ago. She liked Josh. She really did. But it just was not working out. Between both of their schedules and his trip to Africa, they just never got to see each other. So when Castle had suggested that they both needed to relax this evening, she had taken him up on his offer without giving it a second thought, mainly because the thought of going home to an empty apartment was too much after the week that she had had.

_It's just another evening_, she told herself. _Castle and I spend time together all the time. There's nothing different about tonight._ However, as much as she told herself that, she knew it was not true. Kate knew she had feelings for Castle. She had known that for a while, but after the heartbreak of last summer, she had been trying to suppress them. She was afraid to act on them again, but lately Castle had been making that difficult for her. He had been nothing but sweet to her, and everything he did broke down her defenses a little bit more. There was the scholarship that he had set up in her mother's name. He had been by her side through Raglan's case. He had come over with flowers as though he had known that she needed company. And he had saved her life. Not to mention their undercover kiss that had turned into so much more. Kate's stomach knotted as the memory replayed for what seemed like the millionth time in the last month. Just the thought of it still gave her butterflies.

A knock at her door snapped her out of her fantasy. _Remember, it's just another evening,_ she reminded herself again, trying to ignore the fact that one of the main reasons she had ended things with Josh was standing on the other side of her door.

"Hey, Castle," she said opening the door.

"Hey." He held out a Remi's bag, giving her his familiar grin. "I come bearing gifts."

She took the bag from him and stepped back. "Come on in." He shut the door behind them and tossed his jacket on the back of the couch. Kate headed to the kitchen to grab napkins and ketchup while Castle spread the burgers, fries and shakes on the coffee table. They settled on the floor with their backs against the couch and dug in, falling into a light-hearted conversation with ease. Castle filled her in on Alexis's latest college ideas and his mother's latest role, in which she was cast as a crazy aunt. They talked about the upcoming benefit for the Johanna Beckett scholarship, and touched on anything else that was not work related. As they finished their milkshakes, Kate found her nerves calming a bit. However, as they stood up to clean up the garbage and the backs of their hands brushed ever so softly, she suddenly found that her heart was racing again.

Instead of making it awkward, however, Castle simply pretended not to notice and slipped in a movie before settling back down on the floor. Kate reclaimed her seat as well, trying as hard as she could to calm her unsteady breathing and her pounding heart. They settled into companionable silence to watch the movie. At some point, they moved up to the couch, careful to leave a few inches between them. But when Beckett shivered part way through the movie, Castle automatically scooted over and put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. Much to his surprise, she did not protest.

When the movie finished, Kate absently reached for the remote and turned off the TV without moving from where she was snuggled up against Castle's side. She was way too comfortable.

They sat in silence for a while, minds wandering. Castle finally broke the silence "Beckett, what are we doing?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" She had a pretty good idea to what he was referring, but she wanted to make sure before jumping into this conversation.

"I mean us," he clarified. "We're cuddling on your couch late at night. A month ago, you never would have been okay with this. I'm not complaining," he added quickly.

"A month ago, I was still with Josh," Kate reminded him, sitting up straighter and sliding out from under his arm. He wished she had not moved, but Castle knew that if this conversation was headed where he thought it was, Kate would need some space.

"Yes, but things have been different between us lately," Castle said. "Don't try to deny it because I know you feel it too. Ever since…." He trailed off, but Kate knew exactly what he was thinking because she was thinking about it too.

"Look, Castle, we both know that that only happened so that we could get in the building," Kate said. "That's all it was." But even as the words came out of her mouth, she knew they were a lie.

"That's not all it was and you know it," he said gently. She opened her mouth, but stopped, unsure of what to say next. "Listen," he continued. Maybe if he guided the conversation, it would make this easier for her. "You don't have to say anything. Let me just tell you my side, okay?" When she nodded, he continued. "When you started to pull out your gun, I knew I had to stop you. As soon as you took a shot, Ryan and Esposito would have been dead. Hell, you and I probably would have been too. I was scared and I panicked, and we were pretending to be a couple anyways, so I kissed you. It was supposed to be a diversion, yes, but that wasn't the only reason I did it. It was something I'd wanted to do since the day I met you. Neither of us knew what we would find once we got inside that building, and if something happened to either one of us, I didn't want to regret never letting you know how I felt. How I feel. So I took a chance, and it was the best one I've ever taken."

Kate was speechless. The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. His eyes met hers with an intensity she had seen only once before; that night, right before he kissed her. They sat in silence for a minute while Kate gathered her thoughts and found her voice. Castle did not say any more. He knew that she needed to process what he had said, and he was perfectly willing to wait.

Kate finally decided that after what he had just admitted, he deserved the truth as well. She took a deep breath and began. "You're right, it wasn't just for cover," she said, glancing away. His gaze was too intense for her right now. "At some point, I forgot what we were actually doing in that alley. If that guard hadn't chuckled when he did…." she left the rest unsaid, but Castle knew what she meant. "But I was with Josh, so I tried to ignore it, pretend it never happened. That way, it wouldn't feel like I'd cheated on him."

"You didn't cheat," Castle reassured her quickly. "It legitimately was for work purposes."

"I know," Kate said. "But after that night, I felt like I was cheating him. That's part of the reason we broke up. After you and I kissed, my heart just wasn't in that relationship any more, and he could tell that too."

"Kate, I'm so sorry, I never meant to get in the way of the two of you," Castle said. "I know you were happy with him, and I didn't mean to take that away from you."

"It's not your fault," Kate said, looking up to meet his eyes this time. "It was bound to happen sooner or later anyways. Josh is a good guy, and I was happy enough, but he wasn't around much. And the truth is, he was never going to be what I truly wanted." She let the silence hang, trying to decide if she should continue. She had already said a lot. More than she really wanted to, because she knew that opening herself up to Castle was risky.

"What do you want, Kate?" Castle knew he was taking a chance by asking that question. She had already admitted quite a bit, and there was a lot at stake here. But he needed to know.

"Castle…." she started to protest.

"Okay, never mind," he said quickly. "I'll go first again. I'll tell you what I want."

"Okay," Kate agreed nervously. She was not sure she was ready to hear this.

"It's probably no secret by now, but I want you, Kate. I have since the day we met."

"Castle…."

"No, let me explain." He knew exactly what she was thinking. "I should have worded that differently. At first I just wanted you for one night. You know that. You turned me down, and I took that as a challenge. Once you said no, I knew I just _had_ to have you. But once I got to know you, I realized that you turning me down was the best thing that ever happened, because you are worth so much more than a one night stand. If that was all we had had, I never would have gotten to know you. The real you. And now that I do, I can't imagine my life without you in it, Kate."

He was dropping bombshells right and left tonight, although now that Kate thought about it, most of this should not have been so surprising. He had been anything but discrete about his feelings for her, but she had always ignored the signs. She knew Castle's history with commitment, or lack thereof, and it was not something she had ever wanted to be a part of. _You almost came clean last May_, she reminded herself. _You didn't seem to have a problem with it then._ Of course that had also been before he walked out on her with Gina on his arm. _That wasn't entirely his fault,_ the voice in her head scolded her. _He thought you were with Tom._ She knew that was true, but the memory still stung.

Castle waited quietly again, glancing around the room in an effort to give Kate her space. When she spoke again, it was in a tone Castle had never heard before. Her voice was steady, but there was the smallest trace of fear in it. "I'm scared, Castle," she said, eyes fixed on her hands. "My heart wasn't in it with Josh because in all the times he kissed me, it never felt like it did with you. Even undercover, I was blown away." She could not believe she was admitting this, but she continued before she lost her nerve. "Being with you has crossed my mind more and more often lately, Castle. But I'm scared. We have so much at stake." The last sentence came out as barely more than a whisper. "What if it goes wrong?"

Castle let out the breath he did not realize he had been holding. Coming from Kate, that was a huge admission, and he knew that. But he had to make her believe that he was serious. And that he was just as scared as she was. He decided to start with the latter, knowing it was the less touchy of the two subjects.

"Someone once told me that 'love is giving someone the ability to break your heart, and trusting them not to,'" Castle recited. "Don't take that to mean anything more right now, please, it's just a quote," he clarified, not wanting to freak her out any more than he obviously already had. "But it's a pretty good one, because it sums it up pretty well."

Kate looked up at him. "I never thought of it that way," she admitted. "It makes it sound even scarier."

"They're powerful words," Castle agreed. "It makes you realize just how much power you can have over someone else." He paused. "And how much they can have over you."

She contemplated that for a moment. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm afraid too," Castle explained. He paused, waiting for her to look up at him. When she did, he continued. "In my opinion, willingly giving somebody else that much power over you is the scariest thing you ever have to do. It takes more trust than most people have." He swallowed, then reached out and gently took hold of Kate's right hand. She glanced down but did not pull away. "I don't know how it happened, I don't even know when, Kate, but you already have my heart," he admitted. "I didn't even have a chance to decide whether to trust you with it because you had it before I even realized it. And that thought is absolutely terrifying." Kate had looked away at some point, but Castle squeezed her hand, making her meet his eyes again. "But I'm choosing to trust you, because it's less scary that way."

"I want to trust you too, Castle. I really do," she began, trying to figure out the best way to say this.

He saved her the trouble by reading her mind yet again. "But I have a history and it makes it difficult, right?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'm sorry, Castle, I wish it didn't matter, but it does."

"I know," he said understandingly. "And if I was in your position, I'd feel the same way. Sure, I'm older now, I make better decisions now than I used to. And you're different," he paused. "But I know that telling you all of this probably won't help, because my reputation speaks for itself."

"What do you mean, I'm different?" Kate asked, trying to decide whether she should be taken aback by his comment.

"I mean you're not like anyone else I've ever met. And I've also never been friends with someone before I had a relationship with them. Or partners. You said so yourself, there's a lot at stake here. If this goes wrong, we lose a close friendship and a solid partnership. But if it doesn't…." Castle trailed off. He did not need to say the rest. It was something both of them had spent a lot of time thinking about lately.

Kate opened her mouth to ask a question, but stopped before anything came out.

"What?" Castle asked.

"No, never mind," Kate said.

But Castle would not let it go. Not now. She needed to know that she could trust him "No, what?" he asked again. "Kate, you can ask me anything you want if it will make this easier for you. Even if it hurts me." He squeezed her hand again in encouragement.

She could tell he was serious, and even though his potential answer scared her, she took the plunge. "Why me?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"What?" Castle was confused.

"Why me?" she asked again. "You could have half the women in New York City. You could do so much better. So why pick me?"

The question took Castle by surprise. It was something he thought about every day, every time she revealed a new facet of herself, but he never thought he would have to explain it. He was unsure of what to say, so he started at the beginning of her question. "Sure, I have lots of choices," he said. "Women throw themselves at me at every public event I go to. They do that because they're interested in my fame and my money. Even Meredith and Gina….that's what they were in it for too. But you….you've never wanted that. Even from that first day, when you dragged me into the interrogation room, you treated me like a normal person. Every day, you remind me who I really am, underneath the public façade I put on in order to sell more books. You ground me, remind me what's real, what truly matters. I'm a better person when I'm with you, Kate." He took a breath and continued, changing the subject slightly. "Then there's you. You have a tremendous amount of integrity. You're dedicated and passionate, and you put every ounce of that into everything you do. You're intelligent and determined, which is why you're so good at catching killers. But at the same time, you're compassionate and empathetic, which is why you're so good with the victims. You're fiery and sassy, which keeps me on my toes. It's a rare combination, Kate, and you still amaze me with those qualities every day. Plus, you get along so well with Alexis. She looks up to you and trusts you enough to confide in you." Kate had looked away in an effort to fight back tears. Castle reached out with his finger and gently rotated her face back to meet his eyes. "Not to mention the fact that you are gorgeous." He ran his finger gently down her cheek as he spoke. "Especially your eyes. They're intoxicating, Kate. I could get lost in them for hours." He let his hand drop, but held her gaze. "How could I ever do better than that?"

At this, Kate lost the battle with her tears, and a couple spilled down her cheek. "Kate, why are you…." Castle reached out and gently thumbed the tears away.

She looked away again. "No one has ever said anything like that to me before," she said softly.

"Look at me," he said gently, taking her other hand. She met his eyes through her tears. "I meant every word, Kate."

"I….I….I don't even know what to say, Rick," she managed. Any defenses she had left were completely gone now. She was completely vulnerable, and she knew it. It still scared her, being this open in front of him, but everything he had just said had lessened some of the fear.

"You don't have to say anything," he said softly, gently wiping another tear from her cheek. He let go of her hands. "I've said a lot tonight, and I understand if you need some time and space to think about things. If you want me to head home now, I will. Whatever comes of this, I want you to be comfortable with your decision. I don't want to pressure you into anything. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right, because I don't want to lose you, Kate."

"Thank you," she said. It was all she could manage to squeeze past the lump in her throat. She knew it was up to her, and while it was an enormous decision, she appreciated that he was letting her have her space. She already had a pretty good idea what she was going to do. There was no way she could continue to deny her feelings, especially not after tonight. She had never felt this way about anyone before, not this strongly, which was why this was so terrifying. But knowing that he felt the same way had eased her fears a bit. And after hearing what he thought of her….the emotion in his voice was unmistakable, and her eyes filled with tears again as she thought about it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Castle started to get up. "Don't," Kate said, grabbing his hand. "Stay for now. Please?"

"I don't think that would be good," Castle said, standing up and removing his hand from hers. In all the times he had imagined her asking him this, he never thought he would be turning the offer down. But right now, as much as he wanted to stay, he knew they both needed space.

"Please?" She was more tentative this time, and he wondered if she was doubting her decision to ask.

"Why?" Castle asked, sitting back down.

"Because I want you here," Kate answered. "Tonight has been overwhelming, to say the least, especially after the exhausting week that we've had. But when I'm with you, I don't feel so stressed. That's one of my favorite things about you, Rick, is that you always know how to make me feel better. There's a million things going through my head, and yes, I need to think about stuff. But I can do that better with you here, because I'll be more relaxed if I know I'm not going to be alone with everything." This time, she took his hand. "Please? I just want your presence."

"All right," Castle agreed. "I'll stay for now." He leaned back on the couch, away from her, but he left his hand in hers. Beckett was staring at the coffee table, and although Castle could usually read her, he realized that at the moment, he had no clue what was going through her mind.

When she finally looked up at him, she was smiling. "What?" he asked.

"You," she said simply. "I was just thinking back to when we first met, and how much you annoyed me by acting like a ten-year-old. I always just rolled my eyes. Now when you do that, it makes me want to laugh at you and smack you simultaneously." They both laughed, which lightened the serious mood that had taken over. "I never used to joke around at work. I haven't been this open and carefree since my mom died, and I don't think that change would have happened without you. And I don't know how I would have made it through these last few weeks without you." She leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. "I guess what I really want to say is 'thank you.'"

"For what?" Castle asked.

"For everything," she replied. "For being you. For saying ridiculous things just to get me to smile when I'm having a bad day. For being by my side even when I say I don't want you to be. For being here, now."

"You're welcome," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into him and leaned her head against the side of his chest. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, and they sat there in comfortable silence, relishing this new facet to their relationship.

Some time later, Castle awoke with a kink in his neck. Blinking, he suddenly became aware of the fact that he was still on Kate's couch, and she was sleeping against him. As he lifted his head, the movement awoke Kate as well, and she looked up at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, glancing at the clock. They had apparently been out for about an hour.

"It's fine," she said. "Actually, I was pretty comfy."

Castle's laugh turned into a yawn, and Kate reluctantly uncurled herself from under his arm. "Looks like someone's ready for bed," she said, yawning as well.

"Yeah, I should really go now. It's after one. Alexis and mother are probably worried." He stood up and grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch. He put it on as he headed to the door, and Kate stood up to follow him. He opened the door and turned in the entryway, his body silhouetted against the lights in the hallway.

Before Castle could figure out the most appropriate thing to say, Kate reached out and took both of his hands. "Thank you for staying, Rick," she said.

"You're welcome," he said, smiling warmly. He wanted to ask about her plans for the rest of the weekend, but he knew that it was up to her now. He had finally had the chance to tell her his true feelings and now he was willing to wait for as long as she needed.

He squeezed her hands and was about to let go when she leaned toward him, pulling him closer as she did so. Hardly daring to believe what was happening, he leaned in and closed his eyes. The moment her lips met his, the whole world disappeared. The kiss did not last long, and it was not passionate and frantic like their undercover one had been, but it was full of emotion. Tenderness, affection, love.

When Kate pulled away, Castle squeezed her hands tighter in an effort to stay standing. "Wow," he breathed, searching her face for signs that she felt the same. She looked breathless as well, and he smiled, trying to regain his grasp on reality.

"Good night, Rick," she said, grinning at the effect she had on him.

"Good night, Kate," he said. With one final squeeze of her hands, he turned and headed for home, knowing that he would have sweet dreams tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Two hours later, Kate rolled over and readjusted the covers yet again. She had gone to bed soon after Castle left, but so far, sleep had eluded her. She was overwhelmed by everything that had been admitted tonight, by both of them, and while she was glad that they could be so open with each other, fear was still the main emotion associated with all of this.

More than anything, she did not want to lose Castle. Her life was better with him in it and she could not bear the thought of not having him around, even if that meant sticking with being partners and friends. But after everything they had said, she knew it would be almost impossible to pretend that none of it mattered. Their relationship had taken a turn towards something more the moment that conversation began, and no matter how scary it was, Kate knew there was no turning back.

She wanted to trust Castle. In fact, most of her already did. But a small part of her heart was still playing devil's advocate, which was why she was wide awake at 3 a.m., fighting with herself. She smiled to herself as the memory of their good night kiss flitted through her mind again. Not bothering to suppress her happiness, she drifted off to sleep, and instead of having nightmares about their latest case, she found herself immersed in a world of Castle filled dreams.

* * *

Across town, Castle was wide awake as well, but instead of battling with a decision, he was battling nerves. He had put a lot out there tonight and he hoped he had not overdone it. While he wanted Kate to know how he felt, he did not want to scare her away by being too intense too soon. However, she had admitted some pretty intense stuff herself, which made him hopeful.

He knew she was struggling to trust him with this. And he had not been lying when he said he understood why she was hesitant. But he also knew that he was serious about her, and he was willing to do anything to get her to see that. He had never forgotten their conversation about marriage on their second case together. She had said she was a 'one-and-done type,' and the more he had come to know her, the more he realized he wanted to be that one.

He knew she trusted him. The fact that she came straight to him when Detective Raglan called proved that. So did the fact that she so willingly showed him her personal murder board, something she had not even shown Josh. She had trusted him with her life too, more than once, when he was the only back-up she had. But trusting him with her heart was a different matter, and he knew that. He had tried to make it clear to her how he felt. The flowers, refusing to leave during the Raglan homicide when she had told him to go home, the scholarship. He had done all of that because he wanted her to see how much he cared for her, but he could tell that she was having trouble telling the difference between that and the shameless flirting that he had always directed at her. He knew she needed time, and he was willing to wait. But in the meantime, a sense of dread had overtaken him because he knew that if she turned him down this time, he would be more broken than he ever had been before.

Pushing those thoughts out of his head, he replayed the last few moments at her apartment again. He felt the touch of her lips on his, and as he drifted off, it gave him hope that tomorrow would bring with it the words he had been waiting three years to hear.

* * *

"So what's wrong?" Lanie slid into the booth across from Kate and took a sip of her coffee. The first thing Kate had done when she woke up that morning was to call Lanie, knowing that advice and encouragement was exactly what she needed. Now, they were sitting in a small coffee shop sipping lattes and eating muffins.

"Before I say anything, you have to promise me that this conversation will not leave this table," Kate said. "I don't care how many bets you have going on…."

"Did he kiss you?" Lanie interrupted, knowing that a comment like that could only mean that something had happened with Castle.

"Lanie," Kate warned. "I'm serious. Not a word. To anybody."

"Ok, I promise," Lanie said. "Now spill."

As Kate talked, Lanie sat in silence, her face taking on various expressions of happiness and incredulity throughout the story. Kate went all the way back to the stakeout kiss, knowing that she would have to explain at some point anyways. But when she finally neared the end of the story and the phrase "I kissed him," came out of her mouth, Lanie could contain herself no longer.

"_You_ kissed _him?_" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah." Kate blushed.

"I'm guessing by the color of your cheeks that it was pretty hot," Lanie teased with a smile.

"It was just a goodnight kiss," Kate protested.

"So why exactly are you here in crisis?"

"Because of what it did to both of us." Kate's stomach filled with butterflies at the memory.

"What do you mean?" Lanie asked.

"Well," Kate hesitated. "It was just a simple kiss, but afterwards, I could barely breathe and if Castle hadn't been holding my hands, I don't think he would have been able to stay standing."

"And that's a bad thing because….?"

"Because I've never felt anything like that before," Kate admitted. "It's scary, what he can do to me without really trying."

"Girl, you are so in love with him," Lanie said with a smile. Kate did not say anything, but she did not deny it either, a fact that was not lost on Lanie. When Kate stayed silent, Lanie reached out and placed her hand over Kate's before continuing. "You're so in love with him that it scares you, right?"

Kate was not ready to admit that out loud, so she simply nodded. "I want to make this work, Lanie," she said. "I do, because I know it would be amazing. But if it doesn't work out, I don't think I'd be able to get out of bed in the mornings."

"You're afraid he'll get bored with you and move on again." Sometimes, Lanie knew her too well.

"Yeah," Kate agreed. "I want to believe that he won't, and I believe everything he said last night. But part of me wonders how many other women he's said that to."

"Honestly, girl, my money's on none," Lanie said confidently. "You know that underneath it all, he's sincere. He doesn't say things like that without truly meaning them. And if he'd said that to anybody else, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation because he'd still be with them. I know Meredith cheated on him, but I guarantee you that the real reason both his marriages fell apart is because he didn't have what he wanted."

"But how do I know I _am_ what he wants?" Kate asked.

"Don't overthink things, sweetie. You just told me that you believe what he said to you last night. He told you the answer to that question."

"But what if he meets someone else who makes him realize that I'm not what he wants?"

"Honey, you know as good as anybody else that he's not hanging around you for Nikki Heat anymore. If you weren't what he wanted, he would have left a long time ago. How many other women has he ever spent three years fighting for? That proves to me more than anything else just how much you mean to him." Lanie searched her face, hoping for some sign of convincement. When she showed none, Lanie continued. "Look, he's just asking you for a chance, Kate. That's all."

"I know Lanie, but if it doesn't work out, I don't know if we can go back," Kate said nervously.

"Then don't think about that," Lanie said. "Trust yourself. Trust him. Trust that this will work out. You know you want it to and he does too. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. He's fought for you for three years. He obviously thinks you're worth it."

"Thanks, Lanie," Kate said with a smile.

"For what?" Lanie was surprised. Usually her advice regarding Castle was met with an eye roll.

"Knowing that you trust him that much makes it easier," Kate said.

"That's what I'm here for," Lanie said. "And if he ever hurts you, I know how to make his death look accidental," she added in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Kate laughed for the first time all day, and it relaxed her a bit.

"So what are you going to do?" Lanie asked.

"I want to talk to him again. Today." Kate looked terrified at the thought, but Lanie was glad she was at least taking the first step.

"Just trust him, sweetie. Don't let your brain get in the way. And remember, as scared as you are that he might break your heart, you can do the same to him, and he knows that."

"I know," Kate said. "I know he does. And I don't want to hurt him." She smiled, realizing the implications of what she had said. "I guess that only leaves one option then, huh?"

Lanie grinned, squeezing her friend's hand. "I'm not saying it's going to be smooth, girl, but you are in for the ride of your life!"

Kate smiled again, much more genuinely this time, and Lanie was glad to see that some of the fear had left her eyes. They stood up and headed out of the coffee shop into the crisp spring air. Kate was lost in thought, but she knew now what she was going to do.

"Go," Lanie said, shoving her gently when they reached Kate's car. "Go make your plans. But you better call me soon with some exciting news."

Kate hugged her before sliding into her car. "Thanks, Lanie," she said. "Really."

"Anytime, girl." Lanie threw one last smile over her shoulder as she rounded the corner and began the short walk home.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this! I'm new here and it's so nice to know that I have so much support right off the bat! You guys are awesome! Chapter 3 coming soon!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Castle had spent the morning writing. The events of the previous day had given him a streak of inspiration, although he was careful not to be too specific. If they were actually going to be together, he wanted to keep those memories to himself. He was so engrossed in his laptop that the ringing of his cell phone made him jump and type a phrase of gibberish. Regaining his composure, he set aside his laptop reached for the phone.

He smiled when he saw the caller ID. "Why hello there," he greeted casually.

"Hey, Castle." He could tell by the tone of her voice that this call had nothing to do with murder.

"And how are you this fine afternoon?"

"It's pouring outside," she said. "I don't know if that counts as a fine afternoon."

"Oh wow!" The last time he had looked it was sunny. "I've been writing," he explained quickly. "I haven't looked outside in a while. But you never answered my question."

"I'm doing well," she said. "I was just calling to see what your plans were for the rest of the day?"

His heart fluttered. "I just figured I'd get as much writing done as I could," he replied. "But I'm sure I can make time for something else," he added playfully.

"How about dinner?" she asked, hoping her voice sounded more confident than she felt. "Nothing fancy," she clarified.

"Remi's?" He figured that something familiar would make her feel more comfortable. Plus, it had kind of become their special place.

"Sure that sounds good. Meet you there at 6?"

"Sounds perfect. See you then, detective." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"See you."

* * *

Five hours later, Castle and Beckett were laughing over burgers and milkshakes. They were seated in a cozy booth in the corner of the restaurant and Castle was regaling Beckett with the story of his first attempt at playing hockey. They were both wearing jeans and Kate had her hair down in an effort to keep the evening feeling casual rather than serious.

They finished dinner and left the restaurant, heading towards Central Park. It had stopped raining and everything in the park was coated with a thin layer of water droplets that were shimmering in the setting sun. Castle tentatively offered his hand, and she accepted, lacing their fingers together. They walked in silence for a while, taking in the beauty of the evening.

"You having a good time?" Castle asked finally.

She smiled up at him. "Yes."

"But….?" Castle probed.

"But, what?"

"I know you Kate. I can tell there's something bothering you." Sometimes it freaked her out just how well he could read her. They had had way too many deep discussions lately, and Kate was not sure she wanted to say any more right now. _This is why you went out to dinner with him,_ she reminded herself. _To talk about stuff so you can make up your mind._ She hesitated.

"What is it?" Castle asked gently.

She met his eyes and saw a rare hint of seriousness in them. Taking a deep breath, she took the plunge. "All of this. Us. I just don't like not knowing what's going to happen," she admitted. "Ever since my mother's murder, things like this kind of just freak me out, you know. I mean, one day she was here and the next she wasn't, and it just….it turned my life upside down so fast and I don't ever want to go through that again." Castle could tell this was difficult for her and he squeezed her hand gently, encouraging her to continue. "I just want to know that everything is going to work out."

Castle stopped walking and turned to face her, keeping her hand in his. "Kate, I don't want to make promises that I can't keep. I won't do that, okay. I can't promise that this is going to be easy, because it's not. We're going to make mistakes with each other. We already have. We broke each other's hearts last spring without even realizing it." Castle paused at the painful memory of Demming. "And yet, here we are now. We got through it, just like we will with anything else. We're going to fight. We're going to say things we shouldn't and we're going to not say things that we should. But I will promise you this, Kate. I will do everything in my power to make this work. I want you to be happy and I will do whatever I can to keep you that way. And I promise you that I am just as serious about this as you are. I want this to work just as badly as you do. I need you to believe that."

"I know you do," she said. "And I know it won't be easy. But what if there's something we can't deal with?" Kate hated being so pessimistic, but the cop in her sometimes had trouble seeing the bright side.

"Look what we've been through already," Castle said. "You and I have faced more difficult situations as partners than I ever faced with either of my ex-wives. If we can survive that, we can survive anything." He met her eyes. "This is worth fighting for, Kate, and I've never wanted to fight harder for anything in my life."

"I believe you, Rick," she said. "And I'm willing to fight for this too. But it's a little overwhelming. So much has changed between us in just twenty-four hours, and it's going to take me a while to get used to it," she paused, letting the deeper meaning of what she had just said sink in.

This was not lost on Castle, and he smiled gently. "You can have all the time you need."

"Okay," she said. His understanding and patience was perhaps what finally persuaded her to take the leap. She took his other hand and their eyes met and locked. "Just promise me one more thing, Rick," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Be patient with me," she said.

"Of course," he said, trying to contain his excitement. "I'm not going to push you. We'll do this at your pace, Kate."

"Thank you," she whispered. Before he knew what was happening, Kate let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. Castle placed his arms tentatively around her waist, and she leaned into him, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He buried his face in her hair and squeezed her a little bit tighter. She pulled away from him after a few seconds and searched his face. It was a moment before she realized that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas. "What?" she asked, unable to suppress her own goofy grin.

"You just made me the happiest guy in the world," he said. They held each other's gaze for a few seconds before Kate looked away. After a second of hesitation, they both turned and continued walking. They strolled along in companionable silence for a few minutes. At some point, Kate linked her arm through his, but he was too lost in thought to even realize it at first. When he did not react, Kate nudged him with her elbow.

"Huh?" Castle snapped back to reality.

"You're really quiet," Kate said. "That never happens."

"Just thinking," he murmered.

"About?" Kate probed. The look of contentment on his face told her all she needed to know, but she wanted to hear his answer anyways.

"You. Us," he answered without hesitation. "All the fun we're going to have. The fact that everything I've dreamed about since I first met you is slowly coming true."

"You've dreamed about walking arm-in-arm with me through Central Park?" she asked skeptically.

"Of course," he answered. The look she gave him said quite clearly that she did not believe him. "I'm serious," he said. "I really have."

"And what were we doing?" she asked mischievously.

"At first, just walking and talking. Like we are now."

"And then?"

"It doesn't matter," he said gently. "Because no matter what happened in my dreams, being here with you right now is a thousand times better." Sometimes, he was just shameless.

She grinned and pulled herself closer to his side as they lapsed into silence again. Much too soon, they reached her car. They took their time in unhooking their arms and as she opened the door, Castle stepped back, unsure of what to do. Kate could not help but smile at this tentative and timid side of Castle. It was just so unlike him, but seeing him so nervous made her feel less scared about everything.

"Come here," she whispered, reaching out her hands. He took them and stepped closer to her. "Thank you, Rick," she said. "For understanding and for being patient. It means more to me than you'll probably ever know."

"You're welcome," he responded with a smile.

Then she leaned in and kissed him gently, lingering just a bit longer than she had the previous night. When their lips separated, they leaned their foreheads together, savoring the moment. At long last, Kate pulled away and started to climb into her car.

"Good night, Rick," she breathed.

"Good night, Kate," he replied, barely able to get the words out. He was reluctantly about to let her hands go when she tugged him down for one last quick kiss before disappearing into her car. By the time Castle recovered from his surprise, she was already pulling out into traffic.

* * *

Castle stood rooted to the spot for almost a minute, staring down the street after Beckett's car. _She is unbelievable,_ he thought as his head slowly descended from the clouds. She had totally taken him by surprise and he just stood there, unable to react. That was one of the things he loved about her. She kept him on his toes, but usually he was ready with a comeback. This time, he had nothing.

For a writer, words failed him far too often when it came to Kate Beckett. In fact, it was not until he was back at the loft that he was able to type a semi-coherent text.

_You are amazing. Sweet dreams, Kate._

He absent-mindedly got ready for bed and was just sliding under the covers when his phone chimed.

_I'm glad you think so. Good night Rick._

He smiled contently as he re-read the text. Sighing, he laid down and fell asleep clutching his phone to his chest.

* * *

For the second night in a row, Kate Beckett found herself tossing and turning until all hours of the morning. Tonight, however, it was not fear that was keeping her awake. Instead, it was the look on Castle's face as she got into her car and pulled away that she could not get out of her head. She had known that final kiss would take him by surprise, but she had not anticipated the extent of it until she had thrown one final glance over her shoulder and seen Castle still standing there with his mouth open and his head clearly nowhere close to Earth. She could not remember any other guy ever responding to her that strongly, and she loved the feeling it gave her. Plus, it showed her how deeply his feelings truly ran.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had always known that they could be incredible together, but she had not imagined anything like this. Maybe it was because it had always just been a fantasy. But now….now it was real. In her mind, it had always been inevitable that they would end up together, although she would never admit that to anyone. And now that they were, she could not keep her mind from wandering. She had wondered for so long what it would be like to be with Castle, and she knew that she would finally get to find out.

_Whoa, slow down Kate, _she said to herself. _You're taking it slow, remember?_ She blushed as she realized what had been going on in her head and even the anticipation gave her butterflies. She smiled at the feeling and closed her eyes. _Oh, what the hell,_ she thought, allowing herself to slip back into the fantasy.

_

* * *

__Thank you for all the reviews! You guys are awesome! Chapter 4 will be up in the next few days!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As promised, Kate called Lanie first thing in the morning to tell her the news. Lanie was ecstatic, of course, but promised not to tell anyone. "I'm so happy for you, girl!" she exclaimed. "You guys are gonna have so much fun!"

"I know." Kate could not stop grinning. "I was too excited to sleep last night."

"You actually slept?" Lanie teased. "I figured you two would talk the night away. Among other things."

"Lanie!" Kate scolded. "Did you miss the part where I said we were taking it slow?"

"No, I just thought I might help speed up the process," Lanie said jokingly.

"Trust me, when we get there, you will be the first to know," Kate said as an all-too-familiar fantasy floated through her mind again. _That has been happening entirely too often lately,_ she thought.

"I better be," Lanie said. "I've only been waiting three years to hear about this."

Kate hung up with Lanie and was just setting her phone down when a text came in. Kate smiled when she saw who it was from.

_Good morning sunshine. How did you sleep?_

She felt butterflies in her stomach as she thought of the dream she had been having when she woke up.

_Really well. You?_

She hit send and then climbed out of bed and headed for the shower. When she got out, there was a text waiting for her.

_Let's just say I had sweet dreams. What are your plans for today?_

Kate grinned, glad to know that she was not the only one feeling like a teenager with their first crush.

_Me too. I have some stuff to take care of. Cleaning and laundry and such. You?_

She was glad that was all she had to do today. That way she could let her mind wander. Another text came in a couple minutes later.

_Taking Alexis to check out NYU and Columbia. I'm still hoping she decides to stay close to home._

Kate laughed. He was absolutely adorable when he was in father mode.

After promising to be in contact later, they both went about their days. Kate absently started her laundry and then began straightening up her bedroom. Her body went on auto-pilot while she day-dreamed about spending time with Castle. Maybe they would finally get to go to the Hamptons. _Who knows, I might even skinny dip,_ she thought, thinking back to the time he had been trying every trick in the book to see her in a swim suit. She smiled at the memory, not caring that at the moment, in her mind, she was naked in a hot tub with Castle. Maybe Lanie would get that phone call sooner than she expected.

* * *

When Castle called later that evening, Kate was curled up in bed re-reading _Heat Wave._ Apparently Alexis had loved both universities, and Castle was thrilled at the idea that she might be considering staying in New York City. She was still planning to apply to Princeton and Harvard, however, and while he supported his daughter fully, he was still having trouble with the fact that she was growing up so fast. As usual, Kate was more than willing to offer advice. She liked Alexis a lot.

"I told her about us, by the way," he admitted.

"What?" Kate had not even thought about that. "What did you say?"

"I just told her that you and I were kind of becoming more than friends," he answered.

"What did she say?" Kate tried to hide the panic in her voice.

"Relax, she was thrilled," Castle said calmly. "I told you the other day that she likes you and looks up to you. And she said that she would love to have you around more often."

"Rick I…."

"You don't have to be involved in her life in that way," Castle said, knowing exactly what Kate had been about to say. "I told her that this was going to be a gradual change. She knows that you will be there for her in the same capacity that you have been in the past, and she doesn't expect anything more, okay. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm just glad she's okay with it."

"I knew she would be. That's why I went ahead and told her. And she knows to keep her mouth shut," Castle said, once again correctly anticipating her next question.

"Okay," Kate said. She heard a yawn on the other end of the phone. "Well, it sounds like one of us is ready for bed," she teased.

"Yeah, it was a long day," Castle agreed. He paused. "See you in the morning?"

Normally, she would tell him not to bother, since they did not have a case, but she could not deny that she had missed seeing him today. "See you in the morning."

"All right, sweet dreams, Kate."

"Good night," she murmured.

They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces. They may have been across town from each other, but they were together in their dreams.

* * *

They ended up catching a case the next afternoon. It was not a particularly stressful one, at least not compared to the ones they had had recently, but it was enough to prevent Castle and Beckett from spending much time together outside of the precinct for the rest of the week. They managed to grab lunch together one day, but they brought the case file with them, so they were still in work mode.

When they finally closed the case Friday afternoon, Castle wasted no time in inviting Beckett over for dinner. Alexis was spending the evening with Ashley and Martha was out with some acting friends. Neither was expected back until after midnight, so they would have the place to themselves.

Kate agreed easily. She was exhausted, but sleep could wait. Right now, she was dying to spend some one-on-one time with Castle outside of work. She headed home to change into something more casual while Castle went back to the loft to make dinner. He decided to keep it simple, just pasta with an alfredo sauce, a salad, and a bottle of wine. He was just adding the final ingredients to the salad when the doorbell buzzed.

"Hey." He opened the door and stepped back, giving her a quick once-over. She was wearing jeans, flats, and a dark green v-neck shirt that showed off just enough. Her hair was down, as usual, but she had curled it more than normal.

"Hey," she said, smiling as she saw his expression.

"Come here," he said softly. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her inside. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. They both felt the tension from the week disappear. He released her after a few seconds and stepped back, running his hands down her arms. "That shirt really brings out your eyes," he said. "I like it."

"Thanks." She smiled as they separated but changed the subject before he could say any more. She had never been particularly good at accepting compliments. "It smells good in here."

Castle reached out and shut the door. "Chicken alfredo," he said proudly. "I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving," she admitted. She had been so wrapped up in the case that her lunch had consisted mostly of coffee.

"Then let's eat."

* * *

Two hours later, the two of them were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. Or at least the movie was on, but neither of them was paying much attention to it. Castle was more focused on the fact that Kate Beckett was willingly cuddling with him. He had one arm around her shoulders and she was holding his other hand. Kate was trying to stay awake, but she was so comfortable with her head on Castle's chest that it was hard to keep her eyes open. Every once in a while, he would lean over and kiss the top of her head, or she would look up and steal a kiss.

By the time the move finished, Kate's eyes had lost the battle with wakefulness. She looked so peaceful and he did not want to wake her, but Alexis would be coming home soon and they both desperately needed sleep. He gently squeezed her shoulders and planted a kiss on her temple. She opened her eyes and looked up at him groggily as everything came back into focus.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I fell asleep," she mumbled.

"It's fine, you looked really comfy," Castle said. "I was too, actually. I didn't want to wake you, but it's getting pretty late."

She looked at the clock, surprised to see that it was almost midnight. "Yeah, I guess I should probably head home, huh?" However, she took her time getting up. She could have stayed in his arms all night, but she knew that she needed to go home. Clothed or not, she was not ready to spend the night with him quite yet.

Castle stood and reached out his hands to help her up. He pulled her right into his arms and held her tight. They stood there for almost a minute, both completely relaxed and content. At long last, they pulled apart and Kate headed to the door to retrieve her shoes.

"I'll walk you to your car," Castle said, opening the door. She led the way down the hall to the elevator. Once inside, she linked her arm through his and leaned her head against his shoulder. Castle smiled at the contact. He loved that she was finally opening up and letting herself lose control a bit. It showed that she was starting to trust him more.

When they reached her car, Kate leaned against the side of it and pulled Castle to her, hugging him again. She loved the way she fit in his arms. "Thanks, Rick," she said into his chest. "Dinner was delicious."

"You're welcome," he replied. "We should do it again soon."

She grinned as they separated slightly, but kept their hands where they were. "Absolutely."

He smiled back and leaned in to kiss her gently. When he pulled away, Kate slid her arms up and around his neck and pulled him to her. This time, though, she parted her lips slightly. The instant their tongues met, the lights and sounds of the city faded away. Nothing else mattered as they lost themselves in the overwhelming spark of electricity that started at their mouths and spread through their bodies.

This time when the kiss ended, it was Kate who was struggling to stand. "Oh my God, Rick," she breathed, grabbing on to his shoulders as she regained her balance. He held her gaze and leaned in for one last quick kiss.

"Until tomorrow, Kate," he said softly.

She knew she should come up with something more unique, but she seemed to have lost any ability to be articulate. "Good night, Rick," she finally managed, before reluctantly letting go and climbing into her car. Castle watched her tail lights disappear into the late night traffic, committing every detail of the moment to memory. It may not have been their first, but that was a kiss he knew he would never forget.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everybody who has reviewed this! You guys are amazing! More coming soon!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

For the next month, Castle and Beckett inched carefully through their relationship, afraid that at any moment it would crumble. Aside from Lanie, Kate had not told anybody about them. Castle had told his mother, being very clear that she was to tell absolutely nobody. Kate was slowly growing closer to Alexis as well, even offering to help her with her homework on a couple occasions.

When they went out, Castle took her to out of the way places, doing his best to keep them out of the public eye. She got enough press as the inspiration for Nikki Heat and Castle knew that she needed her privacy. For his part, he was enjoying being in a relationship without the whole world knowing about it. It was nice to be able to go out without having to dodge annoying reporters and camera-men, although they both knew it was only a matter of time.

She was glad that their work relationship had not changed. They still bantered back and forth. He still spun wild theories. She still rolled her eyes at him. He still brought her coffee every morning. At the precinct they were Castle and Beckett. Outside of work they were Rick and Kate. Beckett had been very clear that they were to remain professional at work, and for the most part, Castle had been pretty good about that, although every once in a while when they were in the elevator he would give her hand a quick squeeze or kiss her cheek.

Ryan, Esposito, and the Captain had figured out that something was going on when Beckett was called into the precinct late at night-she and Castle had been curled up on her couch watching a movie when her phone rang-and they showed up together. At first, Kate vehemently denied that anything was going on, but the detectives did not buy it. They had noticed the subtle changes recently; the loaded looks Castle and Beckett gave each other, the fact that they tended to stand even closer than they used to, the quiet conversations they would have at her desk. They never admitted to anything, but they could tell that everybody knew.

With each passing day, Kate was finding that she was less afraid of fully trusting Castle with her heart. He had been nothing but understanding and patient, and she could tell he was trying really hard not to mess things up. He gave her space when she wanted it, but was by her side in an instant when she needed him. He asked her to lunch or dinner occasionally, but for the most part he let her take the lead. It was weird to see him so nervous and tentative around her, but she had to admit that it was also pretty adorable. Every time she turned around lately, it seemed that he was doing something else to make her smile. She loved that she woke up every day to a '_Good morning'_ text. She loved that he would call her some evenings just because he wanted to hear her voice. She loved the expression he would get on his face when she would surprise him by stealing a kiss or squeezing his leg.

_I could get used to this,_ she thought one evening as she and Castle were at her place making dinner. She glanced over at him, standing at the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce. He looked so at home in her kitchen and she felt very comfortable having him here. She knew it had only been a month but she secretly hoped that they would be making dinner together many more times in the future.

* * *

It was after eleven and they had long ago finished their spaghetti dinner. The remnants of their poker game were still spread out on the table, but they had abandoned their cards an hour ago in favor of cuddling. When Kate let out an enormous yawn, Castle released her and started to stand to help clean up. He was reaching for the deck of cards when she surprised him by grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back down. "Stay," she whispered. "Stay here tonight."

"Really?" Castle tried to contain his excitement, even though he was pretty sure that they would only be sleeping, but the look that crossed her face told him that he had failed miserably. "Sorry," he said quickly.

"It's been a really long week. I haven't slept well since this last case started," she said. The victim had been a young child, killed by her drug-addicted mother, and it had taken a toll on both of them. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Okay."

They left the mess to deal with in the morning and headed to her bedroom. Castle stripped down to a t-shirt and his boxers while she headed to the bathroom to change into pajamas. He sat down on the edge of her bed, hardly able to believe that he was actually going to be spending the night in Kate Beckett's room. In her bed. With her. When she came out, Castle stood and wrapped her in a tight hug. She hugged him back, letting her body meld into his as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

At long last, they separated and Kate pulled back the covers before sliding into bed. She scooted over and Castle climbed in next to her, laying on his side and propping himself up on one elbow. He waited until she met his eyes before speaking. "Tell me the truth. Did that case give you nightmares?"

"Every time I closed my eyes," she said. "Cases like that are the worst. Nobody deserves to be murdered, but especially not a child."

"I get them too," he admitted. "Things like that hit way too close to home for me. I can't help but imagine that it's happening to Alexis."

"I know the feeling," Kate said. Over the years, so many cases had reminded her of her mother's. Castle did not need to ask to know what she was referring to.

"Come here." He put one arm around her waist and pulled her close enough that their foreheads rested against each other. She took his other hand in hers and tilted her head up to kiss him.

"I'm glad you're here," she said, kissing him again.

"I'm glad I'm here too." He let go of her and she looked at him questioningly. "Turn around."

"Rick…."

He looked deep into her eyes. "Trust me," he said softly. She held his gaze for a moment and he could see the hesitation. "Please."

"Okay." She rolled over so that her back was to him and felt him move closer.

He put one his arm around her waist and slid the other underneath her head as a pillow. "Is this okay?" he asked, careful to keep his hands in appropriate places.

She took the hand that was around her waist and intertwined her fingers with his, pulling him more tightly against her. "Yeah."

Castle smiled. "Good. Now let's get some sleep. We both need it." He lifted his head enough to kiss her cheek. "Good night, Kate." He settled back down, burying his face in her hair.

A shiver ran down her spine as she felt his breath on the back of her neck. "Good night, Rick."

* * *

Castle woke up the next morning feeling much warmer and cozier than he was used to. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at the back of Kate's head. He smiled as he remembered falling asleep with her in his arms. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling. Castle's sigh told Kate that he was awake. She sleepily rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him. He opened his eyes again and smiled.

"Good morning beautiful," he said, brushing hair out of her face.

"Morning," she replied with a smile.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, leaning forward and planting a kiss on the tip of her nose.

She giggled. "Better than I have in a long time," she admitted. "You?"

"Really well." He grinned and pulled her closer. "In fact, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to fall asleep alone again."

She saw the mischievous glint in his eye and raised her head to whisper playfully in his ear. "Maybe you won't have to." When she settled back down beside him, he looked like he was struggling to breathe. "What's the matter?" she teased.

"How do you do that to me?" he finally asked.

"Do what?"

"Make me completely powerless," he answered. "I can't think, I can't talk, I can't breathe. And it's like you don't even have to try to make it happen. Nobody has ever done that to me before."

Instead of responding right away, she leaned in and gently kissed his neck, just below his ear. She heard him draw in a breath and pulled away. "You mean like that?" she said teasingly, leaning back and meeting his eyes.

"Yes….no….I….oh my God, Kate," Castle stuttered. "You're going to give me a heart attack."

Kate grinned. "So what are your plans for today?"

"Staying right here with you," he answered, pulling her closer and wrapping his lower legs around her ankles so she could not get away.

"Rick…."

"Just kidding," he said quickly. "But I'm all yours for the day, so whatever you want to do is fine with me." Alexis was spending the weekend with Ashley's family at their cabin and Martha was performing all weekend so he had no other obligations.

Between kisses, they settled on going to the aquarium and then back to the loft to make dinner. Reluctantly, they finally tore themselves away from each other so that they could get ready. After making scrambled eggs together, Castle headed home to shower and change, anxious to have her back by his side again.

* * *

They spent the afternoon at the aquarium, which Castle's inner child enjoyed far too much. Even so, Kate could not help but laugh as Castle made faces at the fish and did a far too accurate imitation of a squid. She loved that he was a goofball, and he brought out her playful side as well.

The sun was setting by the time they made their way back to the loft, where they made a pizza from scratch. They spent the evening snuggled up on the couch, sharing stories from their childhoods and planning a future weekend adventure in the Hamptons. They were enjoying themselves so much that neither one realized that it was after midnight until Kate yawned.

"Holy smokes," Castle said, looking at the clock. "It's really late."

"Yeah," Kate hesitated. She was pretty sure she knew what was coming next.

She was right. "Do you want to stay here tonight? You can even have the guest room," he offered, knowing that she might want space but desperately hoping that she would say 'no.'

"Sure," she said. "To the first question. No to the second." She smiled and he gave her a quick kiss. They headed upstairs and Rick tossed her a pair of his pajama pants, indicating the bathroom. "Thanks," she said.

When Kate opened the door, Castle reached out and picked her up bridal style.

"Castle!" she exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Just keeping you on your toes," he said, leaning down to kiss her. She tossed her clothes aside, so that she could put both arms around his neck, and kissed him back. He walked them over to his bed and gently laid her down on it, but she did not let go of his neck, pulling him down with her. He landed with one hand on either side of her head, barely keeping himself from falling on top of her, and she lifted her head and kissed him again.

When they finally separated, he climbed over her and settled down next to her. This time, he did not even have to ask. After kissing him one more time and saying their 'good nights,' she rolled over and snuggled in with her back pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer.

Being in his arms felt so natural. It was only the second night they had spent together, yet it felt like they had been doing this for years. She loved the way she fit in to the curve of his body. She loved the feel of his nose nuzzling her hair. She did not even care that her shirt had come up a bit and his hand was hovering just above the bare flesh of her stomach. All she cared about was that they were together. She let out a contented sigh and Castle planted a kiss in her hair. Smiling to herself, she savored the sensation as she drifted off to sleep.

Right then, nothing else mattered. She was exactly where she wanted to be. In Castle's arms.

* * *

_Next chapter coming soon!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Their Sunday plans were interrupted by a body, so instead of spending the day out together, they spent it at work. By Wednesday, the whole team was starting to get frustrated with the case. Almost everyone they had talked to had lied about something and by Thursday evening, it had gotten so bad that nobody seemed to know what was really going on.

Finally on Friday morning, the actual murderer was overcome with guilt and turned himself in. After finishing up the paperwork, Captain Montgomery ordered the team to start their weekend a few hours early. Beckett sent Castle home to change and then meet her back at her place. Castle had no idea what she had planned, but she seemed really excited about it. She had told him to wear something durable and prepare to spend the rest of the day outside. In all honesty, he did not care what she had planned. They would be spending the rest of the day together and that was enough for him.

When he knocked on her door, she answered clad in tight jeans and a leather jacket and gloves. He could not help the slack-jawed expression on his face as he simultaneously took in her outfit and realized what they would be doing. "Hey, you ready?" she picked up two helmets, handed him one, and shut the door behind them.

"Uhh….yeah," Castle stuttered, following her. She knew by the fact that he did not catch up with her that he was probably staring at her ass, but she found that she did not mind.

Kate Beckett was in love with Richard Castle. She had known that for a while, but now she was finally ready to admit it. She had big plans for him tonight, which he did not yet know about, but in the meantime she was going to enjoy being a tease.

They spent the afternoon riding through the city. Kate took them to the waterfront, to an abandoned parking lot, where she taught him how to drive the Harley. Castle loved seeing this side of her. She was radiant and completely at ease, not to mention the fact that she looked fantastic.

They stopped for dinner on the way back to her apartment, and it was very late by the time they got there. Exhausted, Castle collapsed on her couch, and she joined him, practically sitting on his lap.

"Tired?" she asked.

"Yes. But it's a good tired. I had so much fun today." He kissed her gently. "Thank you."

She smiled. "I'm glad. And you're welcome." She paused. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

She did not have to ask twice. "I'd like that," he replied, kissing her again.

"Come on." She stood up, pulled him up, and they headed to her bedroom. Kate grabbed her pajamas and went to go change. When she emerged from the bathroom, Castle was sprawled out face-down on top of the covers. She pulled them back, nearly rolling him off the bed in the process. It was only then that he looked up and saw that she was just wearing shorts and a tank top, and his imagination went into overdrive. Kate smiled at his expression, secretly excited for his reaction when he saw the black lacy bra and panties she was wearing underneath.

"You're not _that_ tired are you?" she asked teasingly as he joined her under the covers.

"Of course not." He was wide awake now, the tone of her voice snapping him out of his fantasy.

"Good." She leaned in to kiss him. It started out slow and passionate but quickly gained momentum as they moved closer and closer to each other. She slid her arms around his waist and pulled him as close to her as she could, heat spreading through her body at the increased contact. When they finally tore their lips apart, Kate opened her eyes to find Castle practically lying on top of her. Their gazes met with an intensity that neither had ever experienced before, and although she knew he could see it in her eyes, she spoke the words anyways. "I love you, Rick," she whispered, looking deep into his eyes.

She heard his breath catch. He had never thought she would be the first to say that, but her words warmed his heart more than any words she had ever spoken. It was a moment before he was able to respond. "I love you too, Kate."

She smiled and this time, along with love, he saw a playful glint in her eyes as she lifted her head to whisper in his ear. "Prove it."

* * *

Castle awoke the next morning and pinched himself to make sure this was real. He was in bed with Kate Beckett and they were both naked. He hugged her tighter against him and sighed happily at the memory of the previous evening. He recalled at the end of their very first case when he had wanted to spend the night with her, she had leaned up to his ear and whispered, "You have no idea." _She got that right,_ he thought. He had been with more women than he cared to admit, but nothing had compared to last night. They had both poured their hearts and souls into it and as they finally drifted off to sleep, Castle knew that he was in this for the long haul. He knew it was too soon to tell her that, but he promised himself right then that she would be his for the rest of his life.

Kate awoke about five minutes later to find herself squeezed very closely against Castle. His breathing told her that he was awake, but she was content to just lay there for a few more minutes, remembering the events of the night before. She had known it would be amazing, but even that did not seem like a powerful enough adjective. He had filled her body with sensations that she did not even know existed. And for the first time in years, Kate had completely let loose. She had turned off her brain and let her heart take over and now she was not sure she ever wanted to return to reality.

She sighed happily and then felt a gentle kiss on her shoulder. She turned her head to find blue eyes looking at her. She smiled. "Good morning."

"Good morning," he replied, kissing her lips this time. She rolled over in his arms, but he refused to loosen his grip.

"Rick," she protested, trying to shift positions so she could stretch.

"I'm never letting you go," he teased, only half joking.

"Well we can't stay here forever," she said.

"I could," he replied without missing a beat. He kissed her again and tangled his fingers in her hair, using the leverage to adjust the angle of their kiss. As he teased the inside of her mouth with his tongue, she felt herself losing her grasp on reality again. _On the other hand, if this is what it's going to be like I might stay here forever too,_ she thought. If last night had been any indication, she was pretty sure that being in bed with Rick would never get old.

* * *

Two hours later, they were still in bed, breathing hard and sweating. "If we keep this up, I'll never have to go to the gym again," Kate panted.

"Is that a challenge?" Castle asked, a mischievous smile forming. "Because I'm pretty sure I could accept that one."

Kate rolled her eyes but could not stop the smile that spread across her face at the thought of waking up next to Castle every morning. "Yes, and we'd also never get any work done," she replied.

"Who needs work?" Castle joked. "This is so much more fun." He kissed her cheek and pulled her close again, moving his mouth up to nibble on her earlobe.

"Rick." She was breathless almost immediately. _How does he keep doing that to me?_ she asked herself.

He smiled at the effect he had on her but pulled away from her slightly. "Yes?"

"I really think we should get out of bed now," she said, attempting to regain her composure. She knew they both could have stayed there all day, but right now, she needed some space.

A bunch of cheeky responses popped into his head, but he could tell that she was being completely serious, so he held them back. "Okay," he said.

She was slightly surprised by his seriousness. "Really? Just like that?" she asked.

"Well…." he hesitated. "You were being serious weren't you?"

"Yes, I just didn't expect you to give in that easily," she answered.

Castle propped himself up on one elbow and met her eyes. "Kate, do you remember the night we went to Remi's and Central Park? And you were still kind of nervous about this?" he paused, waiting for acknowledgment. When she nodded, he continued. "I told you that we would do this at your pace, and I haven't forgotten that. You call the shots when it comes to us."

She saw the worry in his eyes, the fear that he had overdone it last night. Sometimes it was still weird to see this side of him. The one that cared more about her than about himself. "Rick, its ok" she said, knowing that he needed reassurance. "I'm not running, okay? And I don't regret any of this. I just think that we both need some space today. I love spending time with you, and I love falling asleep and waking up in your arms. And last night was fantastic." She smiled at the memory. "And this morning," she added with a grin. "But this is still pretty new to both of us and we still need to have our own lives. We both have other responsibilities." She searched his face for any response, hoping that she had not hurt him. She saw only understanding.

"You're right," he admitted. Normally saying those words would make him cringe. With Kate, he barely registered that he had said them. "We have plenty of time, we don't need to rush in to anything." He sat up. "Right now, the most important thing is that we are open and honest with each other about what we want. That is the only way this is going to work out, and I'm so glad that we have that level of trust between us."

It was moments like this that reminded Kate why she had fallen in love with him. He was so understanding and patient with her. He always had been. Her comfort and happiness were his top priority. Times like this made her wonder why she had ever been scared to be with him.

"Thank you, Rick," she said, sitting up and pulling the sheet tightly around her. "That means a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to me," he said. "And I promised you I would do everything I could to keep you happy and to keep us together."

"But what about you?" she asked, knowing that this could not be all about her. "Because you deserve to be happy too."

"Kate, I woke up this morning with you in my arms after an amazing night," he said sincerely. "How much happier could I be?"

"I'm serious," she said. "I…."

"So am I," he interrupted. "As long as you are mine, I will be the happiest guy in the world."

As cheesy as that sounded, she knew he was being completely serious. "I am yours, Rick," she assured him. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise." She kissed him softly before they both climbed out of bed and found their clothes.

* * *

"Girl, it's a Saturday morning, you better not be calling about murder," Lanie said, skipping the 'hello' entirely.

"Hello to you too," Kate said sarcastically. "And no, it's not about murder."

"Then this better be the phone call I've been waiting for." Lanie was not one to sugar coat things, which made Kate even more determined to keep her guessing.

"What phone call is that?"

"Girl, I'm gonna smack you!" Lanie said impatiently.

"Over the phone?" Kate asked teasingly. She was deliberately making this difficult for her friend and she knew it, but it was just too much fun.

"Kate!" Lanie was exasperated now. "Don't make me beg."

As fun as this was, Kate knew it was time to just spill. "Okay, maybe this is the phone call you've been waiting for."

"Really?" Lanie had a pretty good idea that it was when she had seen the caller ID, but hearing it come out of Kate's mouth proved it. "He's not still there is he?"

"If he was, I'd still be in bed," Kate answered. "He left half an hour ago, although I'm not sure how I ever had the resolve to tell him to leave."

"And that's a bad thing because?" Lanie interrupted.

"It's not," Kate admitted. "But he has a family to get home to and I have some errands and stuff to do."

"Ugh, I hate it when you guys are all responsible. But anyways, stop changing the subject. How was it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Kate teased.

"Girl, come on, you can't sleep with Richard Castle and not expect people to ask you what all the fuss is about." Lanie was practically begging again.

"Other people better not _ever_ be asking me that question," Kate warned. "But for you, let's just say that the fuss was very well-deserved."

"Which is why it's after noon when you finally got around to calling, right?" Sometimes Kate wished Lanie was not so observant.

"That may have something to do with it." Kate was enjoying this far too much.

"So he really is _that_ good, huh?" Lanie asked, more seriously this time, and Kate decided it was time to stop teasing.

"He really is, Lanie," she said, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. She usually did not share this type of thing, but given how much Lanie had been there for her lately, Kate decided she deserved to know. "Oh my God, it was incredible. It was…." Kate trailed off, searching for the right words. "I can't even describe it."

"I won't say 'I told you so,'" Lanie joked.

"I never doubted it," Kate said. "I just didn't think I'd ever really find out."

"Well now you know. What did he say about it?" Lanie asked.

Kate could not hide the pride in her voice as she answered. "I'm sure he would be very embarrassed if anyone ever found out how easily I reduced him to a speechless pile of mush."

"What did you _do_ to him?" Lanie was astonished.

"Nothing," Kate admitted. "I hardly even had to try. He just….he's that crazy about me, apparently."

"Well you already knew that," Lanie said.

"He admitted it though," Kate said softly, smiling at the memory. "Not that I couldn't already tell how he felt. But now I know for sure."

"Good for him. How did he bring it up?" Lanie asked.

"He didn't." Kate paused. "I did."

"Girl, I am so proud of you," Lanie exclaimed, thinking of how far Kate had come in the last few weeks.

"Thanks, Lanie," Kate said.

"Anytime, girl. I better be getting frequent updates from you. Now go do your stuff so you can get back where you belong." Without giving Kate time to protest, Lanie hung up, leaving Kate staring at her phone.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I have what I originally planned to be the last chapter written already, but I could definitely add in a few more in between this one and the final one...let me know what you guys think/any ideas you have! Otherwise I'll post the final chapter in the next few days!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: First of all, by request, I am adding more chapters. I have this one and another written so far, and I'm planning to squeeze in a few more. I already have the ending written but there is some room in between so I'll keep going as long as I can. Second, __thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story! I know I'm terrible about responding to them...with school, I'm lucky to have enough time just to write. But please know that I do read every one of them and I really appreciate them! And finally, I'm sorry it took me so long to update...a 13 page research paper temporarily took over my life, and finals are coming up, but I will try to have the next chapter up soon. And now, enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

It was almost nine o'clock the following Tuesday night and Beckett was still at the precinct, papers spread out all over her desk. She felt pressure on her shoulder and looked up slowly, pausing to glare at the hand Castle had placed there. He hastily pulled it away but kept his eyes locked on hers. "Beckett, come on, it's late. Let's go," he said gently.

"Not right now." Kate looked back down at the stacks of financial records. She was not in the mood to deal with the concern that was clearly showing in his eyes.

"We've been here for fourteen hours," Castle pressed. "You need food and rest and we can come back with fresh eyes in the morning."

"Castle, don't tell me what I need." The truth was that he was right. They were not making any progress on the case. She _was_ craving real food. She_ was_ stressed and exhausted and she knew that he could tell. But right now, she was frustrated and Castle was getting on her nerves. He had been trying to take care of her for the last three days, and she was sick of it.

"Well someone's got to." It came out harsher than he intended, but he hated it when she did not take time for herself.

"No, they don't," Kate said, raising her voice.

"Beck…."

"Castle, shut up!" Beckett hissed. "All we've accomplished today is hitting dead ends. A bunch of them." They had found three people who had a strong motive to kill their victim, but all of them had alibied out. Not to mention the fact that their victim's financial records were providing no insights whatsoever.

"Which is exactly why you should take a break," Castle interjected.

"I said 'shut up,'" Beckett reiterated. "If you want to take a break, fine, but I'm staying here until I figure this out."

"I'm not leaving till you are." Castle was adamant. As much as he wanted her to go home, there was no chance he was going to leave her here alone.

"Castle!" Beckett stood, grabbed his arm, and dragged him into the break room. She was not going to have this argument in plain sight. Ryan and Esposito looked up in shock at the commotion.

"Uh, guys?" Ryan spoke up. Beckett turned around, surprised. She had forgotten that they were still here as well, looking deeper into their victim's past.

"Oh….sorry," Beckett stammered. "Look, why don't you guys call it a night. Head home and I'll see you in the morning."

Beckett was clearly not in the mood to compromise, so they picked up their stuff and left the room, throwing a 'good night' over their shoulders. As soon as the door shut, Beckett turned back to Castle, unaware that the boys had their ears pressed against the door.

"What are you doing?" Beckett demanded.

"Nothing, I'm just…."

"Castle, you need to stop, okay. This needs to stop. You can't keep dragging me away from my job just because _you_ want to go home and get me into bed again."

"That's not true, and you know it." Castle was hurt that that was her opinion of his intentions. "I'm not dragging you away and I'm certainly not trying to just get you in to bed. You know that. But you also know that you're exhausted and that you need a break. Hell, you just sent Ryan and Esposito home. You care more about their well-being than your own, Kate, and it drives me crazy."

"I do not!" Beckett knew he was right but she was too upset to care.

"Yes, yes you do," Castle fought back. On the other side of the door, Ryan and Esposito looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"No, I don't, but right now this case takes priority," Beckett spat.

"Yes, it does," Castle agreed, attempting to calm down and show that he understood. "But temporarily, you need to take priority."

"Since when was my well-being any of your business?" Beckett snapped.

"Oh gee, maybe since I fell in love with you," Castle retorted.

"Well maybe you should worry about yourself instead," she yelled. "Just go home. I have work to do." She turned away, but Castle grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"Kate, please," he begged. "For me. Take a break."

"This isn't about you, Castle," she said, yanking her arm out of his grip. "This is about the family of the victim, but I wouldn't expect you to understand that. Now go home. I'll see you in the morning." With that, she left the room and strode back to her desk, not noticing as Ryan and Esposito scrambled away from the door and out of sight.

Castle knew better than to argue any more. They had already both said things they did not mean and neither was in the mood to deal with this right now. Without a word, he grabbed his coat and headed for the elevator.

As soon as the doors closed, Beckett put her head in her hands, fighting back tears. They had fought before, but nothing like this, and while yelling had helped her release her stress, now she felt even worse. She knew that Castle was not to blame. He cared about her, he was just trying to show it, but he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now they were upset with each other. "Damn it," she cursed under her breath.

"Everything okay?" Beckett looked up at Ryan's voice. He and Esposito were standing by her desk, concern written all over their faces.

"Fine," she muttered. "I thought I told you two to go home."

"We are," Esposito assured her. "We just wanted to make sure you guys were okay first."

"We'll be fine," Beckett said, not caring that she had basically just admitted that they were a 'we.' Not that they did not already know, but this was the first time they had gotten conformation. "I sent him home and I'm going to head home too. See you tomorrow."

"Night."

As she cleared her desk, Beckett sighed, thinking through her options. She could go home and try to forget about their fight, but then it would still be hanging over her head in the morning. Plus she knew she would not be able to sleep when she was upset at him. She considered waiting for Castle to apologize before realizing that he really had nothing to apologize for. It had been her fault. She knew her best bet was to head over to his place and figure things out. _But first, I need a nice warm bath,_ she thought. She was tense and if she went over there now, she had no doubt that they would just pick up where they left off. Grabbing her jacket, she left the precinct.

* * *

Across town, Castle arrived home and flopped on the couch with a sigh. He hated fighting with Kate. It was what had torn him and Gina apart both times, and he never wanted to go through that again. He loved Kate and he would do anything for her if she would just let him. Her independence was one of the things he admired about her, but sometimes he wished she would relinquish some of it. He knew that was unlikely, though, because they were both stubborn, which was what had gotten them into the fight in the first place.

"Hey, Dad." He looked up as Alexis entered the room.

"Hey, pumpkin. How was your day?"

"Better than yours apparently," she said, taking in her dad's slouched posture and upset expression. "What happened?"

Castle could not lie to his daughter. "Kate and I got in a fight and she sent me home," he admitted.

"Dad, I'm sorry, what about? It wasn't really bad, was it?"

"No, it wasn't," he said, not wanting to go into detail. He had no desire to live through it again. "We'll get through it, we're just both stressed and we took it out on each other." He pulled her close and for a while they just sat there. Slowly, Castle felt himself relaxing a bit.

"What are you going to do?" Alexis asked eventually.

"If she doesn't call tonight, I'll deal with it when I see her in the morning," Castle answered, knowing that he would not sleep if he did not hear from her.

"Why don't you call her?" Alexis asked.

"Because she needs to calm down," he answered. "I'm not trying to sound like a little kid, and I'm not saying I did nothing wrong, but she started this whole thing for no real reason other than the fact that she was tired and stressed. If I try to talk to her before she's ready to deal with it, it will only make things worse."

"Well I hope you guys figure things out," Alexis said. "I like Kate and I want her to be around more."

"She will be, don't worry," Castle assured his daughter. He loved how well Alexis and Kate got along and was glad that Alexis finally had a stable and strong female role model in her life.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go to bed. I have a calculus test in the morning."

"All right, sweetheart. Good night." He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her shoulder one last time before she stood up.

"Night, Dad."

* * *

Fifty minutes later, Castle was still sprawled on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. His laptop was sitting open on his lap but he had not written anything. He was just about to give up and try to go to sleep when he heard a soft knock at the door. Knowing that it could only be one person, he felt himself tense. He wanted to make things right but he also knew that they were liable to get out of hand again.

"Hey," he said, pulling the door open. Kate was dressed in yoga pants and a hoodie, her hair was pulled back messily, and she looked as though she had been crying. Without giving her a chance to respond, Castle automatically reached out and pulled her to him. She tensed for a second and he was just about to let go when he felt her arms slide around his waist. They stood there for a moment before Kate pulled away.

"Can I come in?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course." Castle stepped back. He closed and locked the door and turned to find Kate sitting on the couch.

"I didn't wake you did I?" she asked, taking in his messed up hair, jacket thrown over the back of the couch, and the screen saver on his computer.

"No, I couldn't sleep anyways," he admitted, sitting on the other end of the couch, deliberately putting space between them.

"Me neither." She paused and glanced around the room. The silence grew and Kate took a deep breath, knowing this was on her. "I'm sorry," she said finally. "You didn't do anything wrong and I had no right to get angry."

"It's okay," Castle began, but she interrupted him.

"No, it's not," Kate said. "Look, I know you care about me and I know you want what's best for me, but sometimes I just need to work. I know how these families feel and sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to make sure they don't feel the same way I did for so many years. The way I still feel."

"I understand that, Kate," Castle replied honestly. "I know why you do what you do and I know how much it means to you. I love that you care so much and that's what makes you such a good cop. And when I ask you to take a break, I'm not asking you to give up. I would never ask you to do that because being a detective is part of who you are."

"Then why….?"

Castle held up a hand. "Hear me out. When I ask you to take a break, it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with the fact that when you get stressed, you sometimes don't even realize that you need a break. You don't realize that you haven't eaten all day or that you're banging your head against a wall." He said this gently, and Kate knew he was not being accusatory but was merely stating a fact. And again, she knew he was right.

"I know, Castle, and I'm sorry. I do get caught up, and I'm so thankful that I have you to keep me from losing myself in the cases, but sometimes that's where I need to be."

"Look, I get that, okay," Castle said. "But I can't stand it when you don't take care of yourself. You may owe the victim's families an answer, but you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself, otherwise things like this happen."

"I take care of myself when the cases are over," Kate said, her stubborn side coming out again. "But the cases deserve my full attention."

"You need to take care of yourself during the cases too. If you're tired and stressed, you're not going to do your best work. Tired cops make mistakes, Kate, and you know that. They miss things, and I know you would never forgive yourself if you missed something." It still appalled her when he hit the nail on the head like that. _How does he know me so well?_ she thought.

"No, I wouldn't," she admitted.

"Exactly," Castle said. "Now, I'm not saying I handled things correctly today, because I didn't, and I'm sorry for that. But that's why I wanted you to go home. When you're as stuck as we were, sometimes the best thing to do is to step back. We'll start fresh tomorrow, we'll work together, and we'll solve this case, Kate, just like we always do."

"I know," she admitted again. She was too exhausted to be stubborn any more. All she really wanted to do was curl up next to him and sleep. For a long time.

"All right, so make me a deal," Castle said. "Because I hate fighting with you and I don't want this to happen again.

"What kind of deal?" Kate asked warily.

"When things like this happen, I will try to give you some space and let you work. I'll bring you coffee or food or whatever you need and I'll do whatever I can to help you. Except leave you there alone, that is." Castle paused. "But if it's late and we don't get anywhere for an hour, then we leave it for the morning. The case still takes priority, but we take a break and you take care of yourself. You go home, with me or alone, whichever you want, and relax."

"That sounds fair," Kate said. "And I'll try not to get angry when you want to take care of me, but in return, I'd appreciate it if you would ask me what you can do to help instead of assuming."

"I can do that," he said.

"Okay." She smiled in spite of herself and scooted closer to him on the couch.

Castle had just put his arm around her when the door opened to reveal a very dressed-up Martha. "Richard," she exclaimed, looking at the clock. "I didn't expect you to be awake. It's after midnight. What are you…." She trailed off as Kate lifted her head off of his shoulder and looked up." Kate, darling, I didn't realize you were here." She paused, taking in Kate's disheveled look. "Is everything all right?"

"It's fine, mother," Castle said, squeezing Kate's arm as she settled her head back against his shoulder. "We just had a rough day."

"Okay, well I'll give you two some privacy. I'm off to bed." She headed up the stairs. "Good night."

"Never a dull moment with her," Castle muttered, leaning his cheek on top of Kate's head.

"I think it's sweet that you let her live here," Kate said.

"She does keep things interesting. And it's good for Alexis to have a female presence. I'm not very good at dealing with…." he paused, trying to figure out how to phrase this, "certain teenage girl things."

Kate laughed. "Why does that not surprise me?" she asked.

Castle chuckled. "Speaking of Alexis, she told me today that she likes having you around," he said, recalling their earlier conversation.

"I'm glad," Kate said. "She's a good kid, I like being around her too."

"Maybe we could go out to dinner sometime soon. The three of us," Castle suggested.

"I'd like that," Kate murmured, letting her eyes close.

"Me too," he said before changing the subject. "But right now, I think it's bed time. We're both exhausted." Castle unwrapped his arm from her shoulders and stood up. "Come on."

Kate pushed herself up off the couch and followed him to his room. She took off her sweatshirt, revealing an NYPD Academy t-shirt, as Castle stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers.

He walked over to her then and pulled her close. "I really am sorry about today," she said, hugging him tightly.

"Me too," he replied, running his hands up and down her back soothingly. They stood there for a long time relaxing into each other. Finally, Castle let go and they climbed in to bed.

He wasted no time in reaching out and pulling her close to him. "Rick," she warned as she found her face right next to his.

"Sleep, Kate," he said. "That's all. The case takes priority, remember? We both need sleep so we can make progress tomorrow." He kissed her gently before she snuggled into him. They tangled their legs together and she buried her face in his neck as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Good night, Rick," she murmured, smiling into his neck.

"Good night, love," he replied, one hand stroking her hair. Kate sighed contentedly and it was only then that Castle knew that everything would be okay. Tomorrow was a new day. And tomorrow, they would solve that case.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: 100+ reviews! I can't believe it! You guys are so awesome! Thank you so much!_

**Chapter 8**

Kate awoke the next morning to the feeling of someone tracing random patterns her back. Opening her eyes, she found her face inches away from Castle's chest. She raised her head and saw that Castle's eyes were closed and he was smiling.

He felt the movement and opened his eyes. "Morning," she said softly.

"Morning," he replied, confused by the expression on her face. "What?"

"You were smiling," Kate said.

"So?"

"So your eyes were closed, but you were smiling."

Castle looked at her. "When I wake up and you're snuggled against me, how can I not? Plus, you're adorable when you sleep."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I doubt that," she said skeptically.

"No, it's true," Castle responded. "You're so relaxed and peaceful. Although I like your eyes better when they're open," he said as their gazes locked. _God, I could get lost in there all day,_ he thought. Gently, he reached out and ran his finger down her cheek. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty well. I feel so much better this morning," she replied. They had only slept for six hours but she felt well-rested. She always slept better when she was with him. "You?"

"Same," he said. "But as much as I'm sure we would both love to stay here, murder awaits us."

"Don't remind me," Kate groaned, untangling herself from Castle's arms and legs and sitting up. He followed suit, reaching over to rearrange the hair that had decided to escape from her ponytail.

"What?" she asked, noticing his expression.

"Even with bed head, you're adorable," Castle said. Kate rolled her eyes but even that could not stop her from smiling.

She reached out and ruffled his hair. "You are too," she teased. "But I've gotta go." She stood up and stretched as Castle headed to his closet.

"Do you want to shower here?" he asked. "Or I could drive you home."

"Rick, I have my car here," she reminded him, pulling her sweatshirt over her head. "And I'll shower at home."

"Okay, but let me make you breakfast first," he offered. "Please?" he added when he saw the hesitation in her eyes.

"Not today." She hated turning him down but she needed to go home and she needed some space before jumping back into the case. He tried to hide his disappointment, but failed miserably. Seeing this, Kate quickly added, "But, you can make me dinner tonight."

"Deal," he said. He walked her out to the front door of the loft and after a brief kiss and the promise of coffee, she left.

* * *

By two o'clock, things at the precinct were tense again. Castle had kept up his end of the bargain. He had asked her what he could do and was now quietly looking through the financial records for what seemed like the hundredth time. He had kept his distance and was letting her get wrapped up in the case, but he was also starting to feel yesterday's tension returning. This case had all of them stumped and tempers were running high.

"Damn it," Kate cursed, staring at the murder board. She had been over everything so many times that she could not see straight anymore. The mother of their victim had called half an hour ago and Kate had no new updates. Now she was more determined than ever to solve this case.

Castle stood up and walked over to her. He knew he was taking a risk, but he also knew that she was getting frustrated. "What?" he asked quietly.

"This case." She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm so frustrated. Someone's playing us and it's pissing me off." She hated being played and he knew it.

"Okay, let's start from the beginning," Castle said, sitting on the desk next to her. "Tell me what we have for sure."

She went back to the beginning of the time line and started to walk Castle through the victim's final two days. Chris Tucker was a twenty-seven year old electrician with a knack for thievery. All three individuals who had alibied out yesterday were his most recent targets. After reaching the time of his murder, Kate stopped and ran her hand through her hair again. That was where it all fell apart. They knew where he was fifteen minutes before his death. They knew where his body was found, in an alleyway behind a Chinese restaurant. The two locations were less than a mile apart yet there was no indication as to why he had been there or how he had gotten from one location to the other.

"Okay," Castle said as she trailed off. "Now tell me what we don't know."

"Who killed him," Kate snapped sarcastically.

"Beckett," he said gently. "I'm just trying to help you here."

She sighed, "I know, I'm sorry." She paused before listing off what they did not know. To her surprise, the list was much shorter than she thought. Castle listened intently, an idea forming in his mind. It was just a theory at this point, but when she finished, he began to explain.

As it turned out, Castle's crazy theory saved the day yet again. By six o'clock, they had tracked down the killer and Kate had dragged a confession out of him. As it turned out, the theft went both directions, and when Chris found out that his best friend (who happened to work at said Chinese restaurant) had been stealing from him, he confronted him. Things turned violent and before they knew it, Chris was dead, having been thrown head first into a cement window ledge.

As Kate finished up the last of her paperwork, Castle leaned closer and spoke in a low voice, "I'm still making you dinner, right?"

"Yes," she answered. "My place?"

"Sure," he said, knowing that Martha would be home with Alexis tonight. "But I want you to do something first." She looked at him questioningly. "Put on something comfy, like last night, and take a few minutes to just relax. Text me when you're ready for me to come over."

"Why?" Kate was confused.

"Please," Castle said. "Trust me."

"Okay." She stood up and put on her jacket. "I'll see you in an hour or so," she said, her voice low, before bidding the others good night. Castle watched her go as he decided what to make for dinner. They tried not to arrive and leave the precinct together, knowing that would only arouse more suspicions. He waited for the elevator to return and then headed to the grocery store.

* * *

It was just after seven when Kate heard a knock at her door. She opened it to find Castle standing there with a bottle of wine and a grocery bag in his hands. "Hey," she said, reaching out and taking the wine from him.

"Hey yourself," he said, taking in her ponytail and spandex pants. She looked a little more relaxed at least. She set the wine on the counter and turned to find herself practically in Castle's arms. He placed the bag next to the wine and then bent down and kissed her softly before speaking again. "You hungry?"

"Absolutely," Kate said. "What's for dinner, master chef?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Castle teased. "And while I'm making it, I want you to go take a nice hot bath."

"What?" Kate was surprised, to say the least.

"Go take a bath," he repeated. "I know they relax you and you need that. When you come out, dinner will be ready." She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "I'm serious. I'm not going to come bother you. I'll be in the kitchen, come find me when you're done."

_When did he start telling me what to do in my own apartment?_ Kate thought as she headed to the bathroom. However, as she settled into the warm bubbles five minutes later, she knew the answer to that question. _Since he was able to read me like a book and figure out that this is exactly what I need._

Forty-five minutes later, Kate returned to the kitchen, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. Walking up behind Castle, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his back.

"Hey," he whispered, putting down the spoon he was holding and turning around in her arms. "How do you feel?"

"Much better. Although I hate it when you're right," she teased. "So what's for dinner?"

"Pasta with a chicken pesto sauce," Castle said proudly. It was her favorite and he knew it, thanks to a throwaway comment made during one of their cases. "And French bread and wine."

"Rick…." She paused, looking up at him. She knew it was not a coincidence. "How did you know?"

"You know I do listen when you talk," he said gently. "You mentioned it during that waitress case."

"You didn't have to do this, you know," Kate said, but she was touched by his gesture.

"I know," he said. "But tonight I'm going to pamper you, because you deserve it." He knew she still was not used to having someone take care of her but he was determined to show her that it was not always a bad thing to rely on someone else.

"Okay." Kate gave in, remembering their fight the previous day. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he answered. "Now let's eat."

* * *

An hour later, Kate was curled up on the couch with a glass of wine while Castle finished cleaning up the kitchen. He had insisted on doing it himself, telling her to "just go chill." She was absently swirling her wine when Castle came out of the kitchen and sat down beside her. "How are you feeling?" he asked, putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

She smiled as she leaned into him. "Very spoiled."

"Good. And I'm not done yet," Castle said, giving her shoulder a squeeze before removing his arm from around her shoulders. She looked at him questioningly. "Sit on the floor," he ordered gently.

"Huh?"

"Sit on the floor," he repeated. "In front of my legs." Still confused, Kate set her glass aside and slid down onto the floor. "Are you comfy?" he asked when she was situated.

"Yes, but why are…." She stopped mid-sentence when she felt Castle's hands squeezing her shoulders.

"Get it now?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"Mmmm," was all she could manage. Kate had no idea how long she was sitting there, but as Castle's hands worked the knots in her neck and back, she felt herself relaxing more than she had in a long time. At some point, her head drooped and her eyes closed, and she was barely conscious by the time she felt herself being lifted off the floor half an hour later.

"Rick," she mumbled into this shoulder.

"Yeah?" he switched off the lamp and headed down the hall to her bedroom.

"What are you doing?" she asked without opening her eyes. She was too relaxed to move.

"Taking you to your bedroom," he answered softly, loving that she was finally letting him take care of her. She was completely relaxed in his arms, her head leaning against his chest. He set her down gently and she fumbled with the covers as he stripped down to something more comfortable to sleep in. "You know, if you open your eyes you could see what you were doing," he suggested teasingly as he climbed into bed next to her and pulled the covers around them.

"Rick," she mumbled again as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," she said, eyes still closed.

"You deserved it," he said simply, kissing her hair.

"I love you," she whispered, reaching for his shirt with both hands and pulling him closer.

"I love you too," Castle said softly. He closed his eyes. "Sleep well." A deep, slow breath told him that she already was.

* * *

When Kate awoke the next morning, something felt weird but she could not figure out what it was. It was like her whole body had gone limp. She was curled up very close to Castle, holding one of his hands, and she was more warm and comfortable than she had been in a long time. But try as she might, her body did not want to move. _Oh well,_ she thought, sighing contentedly. She was not ready to get up yet anyways.

A few minutes later, Kate had just about fallen back asleep when she felt movement beside her. Still too comfortable to move, she squeezed his hand to let him know she was awake. "Kate?" he whispered.

"Huh?" apparently her ability to form sentences was not working this morning either.

Castle lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Good morning."

She finally persuaded her neck to move and tilted her head up so she could see him. "Morning," she said softly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"Like I don't want to move from this position ever," she answered honestly. "I'm still completely relaxed from last night.

"Good," he said. "Because you needed that."

"I know I did. And I was too out of it to say so last night, but thank you so much," she said. "That massage was amazing. All of it was just….it was perfect."

"You're very welcome, Kate," he answered, kissing her forehead.

She smiled. "What time is it?"

"Early," Castle answered. "We've got another hour or so."

"Good." Kate burrowed back into his chest and closed her eyes again. She felt his hand on the back of her head as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Mmmm, that feels so good," she whispered. He had been absolutely spoiling her for the last twenty-four hours and despite her previous annoyance, she was starting to realize that maybe letting Castle take care of her was not such a bad thing after all.

They were silent for a few minutes as Castle continued to stroke her hair. "What are you thinking?" he asked finally after hearing her sigh of contentedly.

"That I could get used to this," she murmured without opening her eyes.

"Me too," he said, planting a kiss in her hair. "Me too."

They fell into silence again, Kate opting to keep the rest of her thoughts to herself for now. She was not ready to admit it yet, but the more time they spent together, the more she could picture a future in which they were together. After nearly three years of working with Castle, she had seen the true man behind the celebrity. She had come to know Rick the devoted father, the loving son, the dedicated author, and the faithful partner who would risk his life for her in a heartbeat. And in just the short time they had been dating, she had gotten to know one more side to him; the Rick who had a heart of gold and would do absolutely anything for her, because he loved her. The side that made her favorite dinner and gave her a massage last night when she was stressed because he knew that was exactly what she needed.

As a homicide detective, she had seen so many unhappy endings that she sometimes found it hard to believe in forever. But as she lay there in Castle's arms, she knew with certainty that it existed. In fact, she was pretty sure she had already found it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Lanie, I think I'm going crazy," Kate said, walking into the morgue later that day.

"Nice to see you too," Lanie answered, looking up from whatever it was she was working on

"Sorry," Kate said. "I guess I'm a little….overwhelmed."

"About?" Lanie took her gloves off and walked over to stand next to her friend.

"You know what about," Kate said.

"What did he do now?" Lanie asked. Suddenly the tone of her voice changed. "Did he hurt you because I'll kill him."

"No, he didn't," Kate assured her. "It's exactly the opposite, actually."

"So what did he do?" Lanie asked again, much more gently this time.

"Everything," Kate said, not really knowing where to start. "I….he…." she trailed off.

"I thought you said he didn't do anything wrong," Lanie pressed.

"He didn't," Kate said. "He did everything right and it was just…." Lanie looked at her curiously and Kate perched on the edge of a table before continuing. "You know how much this last case was getting to me, right? So last night, he came over and sent me to take a bath while he made dinner. Chicken pesto pasta, French bread and wine."

"Your favorite," Lanie interrupted.

"I never told him that either," Kate said. "Well, not directly anyways. I apparently mentioned it during a case last year and he remembered. Anyways, after dinner, he wouldn't let me help clean up or anything, he just handed me a glass of wine and told me to go chill. Once he was done we were sitting on the couch and he started giving me a back massage. A really long back massage."

"How long?" Lanie asked.

"I have no clue, I was so relaxed and out of it by the end," Kate recalled. "So he just picked me up and carried me to bed and we fell asleep together. Then this morning, he was so sweet, saying I deserved it, and he was holding me and running his fingers through my hair, and we just laid there and relaxed. It was so amazing, Lanie," she admitted. "He knew exactly what I needed and he was just there for me and…." She trailed off with a smile.

"So why does this make you crazy?" Lanie asked, remembering Kate's opening words.

"Because all I could think about this morning was how much I wanted to wake up like that every day," Kate answered.

"Well who wouldn't?" Lanie said.

"That's not the point," Kate countered.

"Well what is?" Lanie asked.

"That we've only been together for like six weeks but I already…." Kate stopped. She did not want to say it aloud yet. It made it seem too real.

"You already what, sweetie?" Lanie asked gently, stepping towards her and taking her hands.

"Is it too early to know?" Kate asked, her voice barely audible. "It just seems crazy, it's too soon."

"No, it's not," Lanie reassured her. "You haven't been dating long but you've known him for almost three years. You already know who he is, you guys didn't have to go through that when you got together. Honestly, I think you're the only one who didn't already know."

"Lanie!" Kate exclaimed.

"I'm serious," Lanie said. "All the rest of us could see it a long time ago. You two are perfect for each other and everybody who sees you together can tell that."

Kate rolled her eyes but could not keep from smiling. "So I'm not crazy?" she asked.

"Not at all," Lanie said. She paused. "Did you say anything to him?"

"No," Kate answered. "I can't, not yet. I'm not ready for him to know that. It feels too serious or something."

"You're scared." It was not a question.

"A little," Kate admitted. "I mean I always knew someday I'd find the right guy, but this isn't at all how I imagined it. Or who I imagined."

"You trust him, don't you?" Lanie asked, concerned.

"Yes," Kate replied without hesitation. "I just….it's a lot and it's happening really fast. Not our relationship, just my feelings. I never thought I'd fall so hard, so fast and it's….sometimes I still can't believe all this is really happening. I think part of me had kind of given up," she admitted.

"Well I'm glad you didn't, because I've never seen you so happy," Lanie said. "And don't try to deny it!"

"I'm not going to," Kate said, grinning. "Don't worry."

"So what are you gonna do?" Lanie asked.

"I don't know for sure, but I'd kind of like to introduce him to my dad," she said. "That way he'll at least be able to see that I'm serious about this, even if I can't admit it yet."

"Your dad is going to love him," Lanie said happily.

Kate smiled as she hopped off the table. "I know," she said. "I know."

* * *

They were sitting on her couch that night, drinking tea, when Kate decided to broach the subject she had discussed with Lanie that afternoon. "Rick," she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if I told you I want to introduce you to my dad?" she asked.

"Really?" The thought made him both excited and nervous. She nodded. "Then I'd say that if that's what you want then it sounds like a good idea."

"You're sure?" Kate asked.

"Of course," he said. "You've met my mother after all. Although I guess you met her right after you met me." He grinned as he recalled being arrested by Beckett and bailed out by his mother and daughter.

"And if she hadn't been there to bail you out, you'd still be in jail," she teased. He was about to give her a friendly swat on the arm when his phone rang. "Alexis?" Kate asked as he reached for it.

He looked at the caller ID. "No, but I've got to take this, I'll be right back." He extricated his arm from behind her and headed out to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, he hung up the phone and rejoined Kate on the couch, settling his arm back around her shoulders. She looked at him questioningly. "Gina," he replied. "My new manuscript is due in two months and she wanted to make sure I'm on track."

"Oh," Kate responded, but Castle did not miss the look that crossed her face.

"Kate," he said seriously. "She's my publisher. She's going to call me at times, she's going to be at public functions with me, okay. Any other kind of relationship between us is over for good."

"I know," she said, trying to hide her shock that he had once again known what she was thinking. "It's just weird, you know?"

"I know, most exes don't get along that well," he agreed.

They fell silent for a few moments before Kate spoke up. "Rick, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said, surprised that she had asked his permission.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she clarified.

"What is it?" he pressed.

"Why did you guys split up?" She heard him take a deep breath and instantly wondered if she had overstepped.

As much as Castle did not want to talk about it, he knew Kate needed to hear it. He knew she needed to understand. He pulled away from her a bit before beginning. "We got married for the wrong reasons. Gina was in it for the money. I was…." He hesitated. "After Meredith cheated on me and we split up, suddenly it was just Alexis and me and I didn't want her to grow up without a female figure in her life. I already knew Gina from work and she was nice and driven and I thought she would be a good role model." He took a breath. "Things were fine at first but the problem was that she knew me as Richard Castle the author and that was who she fell in love with, so that was who I felt like I had to be. But because she didn't even know who I really am, I was never fully able to trust her with Alexis. Eventually I got sick of pretending and we started fighting." He rubbed his hands across his face as if to wipe away the memory. "It was awful, especially for Alexis. I just wanted what was best for my daughter but it didn't end up working out that way."

"What about the second time?" Kate asked gently.

"We got back together because I needed the distraction," he answered honestly. "She was familiar and I thought we could give it a second chance. And we were doing better than the first time but it just wasn't right, you know? She wasn't what I wanted," he paused and looked Kate straight in the eye. "I wanted real. I wanted you."

They were silent for a bit, letting his words sink in. "Thank you," she said finally, breaking the silence.

"For what?" Castle asked.

"For telling me that," she replied. "I know it can't be easy to talk about."

"It's not," he admitted. "Nobody wants to get divorced, you know? I know I was young and naïve when Meredith and I got married but I thought it would be forever." He looked down at his feet. "I wouldn't trade what Alexis and I have for anything but I wish she could have had a more stable childhood."

Kate reached out and lifted his chin so that his eyes met hers. "You're a good father, Rick," she said sincerely. "Alexis is a lucky girl."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Thank you," he said, so softly that she barely heard it. There was silence for a moment before Castle changed the subject. "Now, speaking of fathers…."

* * *

"Hey, Dad," Kate said into the phone the following morning. Castle had just left for the day although they would be meeting at the precinct in an hour.

"Hey, Katie," Jim Beckett answered. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Kate was unable to keep the smile out of your voice. "You?"

"It's been a pretty good week," he answered. "So what's got you so happy this morning?"

Kate thought she had been hiding it better than that, although when it came to Castle, she was pretty hopeless at hiding her feelings from anyone. "Well, you know Castle?" she asked.

"Your partner." Jim had heard a lot about him.

"Yeah," Kate hesitated. "Well we've kind of started dating," she said.

"Good for you!" Jim said happily. "I have to say I saw that coming." He paused. "So do I get to meet this partner of yours anytime soon?"

"That's kind of why I was calling," Kate admitted sheepishly.

"Great minds think alike," Jim quipped. "How about you guys come over for lunch tomorrow? I'll put out some sandwich fixings and toss together a salad or something."

"That sounds perfect, I'll have to check with Rick but that should work," she paused, looking at her watch. "I have to go now though, we're in the middle of a case."

"We'll catch up tomorrow," Jim said. "Come on over whenever okay?"

"All right I'll see you then."

"Love you, sweetheart," he said.

"Love you too," Kate answered. "Bye Dad."

* * *

Castle arrived at Kate's apartment at ten o'clock the following morning. He was more nervous than he had been since the day he told Kate how he felt about her because more than anything, he did not want to mess this up. He knew that Kate and her father were close and if he did not get along with Jim, there would be no chance that he and Kate would work out.

"Hey," she said, opening the door.

"Hey." She could tell from his voice that something was wrong.

"You okay?" she asked as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

"Yeah, just nervous, you know?" he admitted. " I tend to make terrible first impressions."

"Don't worry about it. I gave my dad a bad first impression of you when you started shadowing me," she joked, trying to ease his tension a bit. She saw his half smile and realized that her attempt was futile. "Seriously, Rick," she said, walking over to him and taking his hands. "It's going to be okay. Just be who you are with me. You don't need to impress him or anything. Just be the real you."

He nodded. "Okay. I just don't want to mess this up."

"You won't," Kate said confidently. She gave him a quick kiss before going in search of shoes. "You ready?" she asked, sliding them on and reaching for her jacket.

"Yeah."

She could tell that he was still nervous and reached for his hand after she finished pulling on her jacket. "All right, let's go."

"Can I drive?" he asked, suddenly seeming much more relaxed. It still amazed her that one touch was all it took to calm him.

"Nope," she answered.

"One of these days I'm finally going to convince you to say yes to that," Castle said with a devious smile as they exited the building. "My car or yours?" he asked in a last-stitch effort to earn driving privileges.

"Neither," she said, heading for the garage.

"We're taking your bike?" he asked excitedly. Kate just smiled as she passed him a helmet.

They climbed on the bike and Castle scooted up so he was pressed as tightly against her as possible. He wrapped his arms around her and was unable to resist the opportunity to squeeze her upper thighs before resting his arms very low around her hips. "Castle!" she exclaimed, smacking his hands away. "Not here!"

"Whatever are you talking about?" he asked innocently, allowing his hands to slide down once again.

She shivered at his touch but knew she needed to summon her resolve while she still had any. She took a deep breath, trying-and mostly failing-to ignore the fiery sensations that were running through her. "Rick," she said, more firmly this time. "We're going to visit my dad. You can't tease me the whole way there or it's just going to be awkward."

"Sorry." He recognized her seriousness and placed his hands at a more appropriate location.

"However," she turned her head and added in a teasing tone, "if you behave, tonight you can put your hands wherever you want." She felt more than heard his reaction and turned back around with a satisfied grin on her face.

"You can't tell me not to tease you and then say things like that," Castle whined as Kate started the bike.

"Oh but you're so much fun to tease," she said, putting the bike in gear. "Hang on."

A bunch of snarky remarks shot through Castle's mind as she pulled out of the driveway, effectively ending the conversation. Instead, he focused on the wind whipping by them and the feel of being pressed so closely against Kate.

As they sped along, Castle thought back to his previous meet-the-parents experiences. Aside from meeting the parents of his high school prom dates, he had not actually made it this far in many relationships. Kyra's parents had never liked him-and they still did not, if running into them at her wedding last year had been any clue. Meredith's parents were fairly ambivalent on the matter, but then again, they were fairly ambivalent parents, a trait they had apparently passed along to their daughter. He had gotten along well enough with Gina's parents, although he realized now that he had not been all that invested in getting to know them. But with Kate….he had not been this nervous since he had met Kyra's parents. _That's because she means more to me than any of my exes ever did,_ he thought. In the past he had always been sporadic with his relationships (and his actions) and it usually ended up getting him into trouble. With Kate, he was much more careful, partly because he had been fighting his reputation since the day they met and partly because a part of him was still afraid she would run. Every time he woke with her in his arms, he could not believe that she had actually chosen him, and part of him dreaded the day she came to her senses and realized that someone like her had no business dating someone like him. And he was sure that if he did not hit it off with her father, that day would come even sooner. He wanted forever, and that meant that things had to go well today.

As Castle's thoughts made him more and more panicked, Kate's thoughts were headed in exactly the opposite direction. She usually dreaded introducing her father to her boyfriends, mainly because he did not usually approve. But with Castle, it was different. She was confident they would get along because with Castle, there was no pretense. Underneath the celebrity, the real Castle was charming and genuine and had a gigantic heart. He cared about her and she knew that meant that by default he cared about her father. He also understood, better than anyone else she had dated, her situation and what it was like to have only one parent. He knew what she and her dad had been through and he knew how close the two were.

As they pulled up to a stoplight, she could feel his heart pounding in his chest and she knew it was not just from the adrenaline of their ride. She reached down and squeezed one of his hands, hoping to simultaneously calm him and pass along some of her confidence before resuming her grip on the handlebars.

Half an hour later, they pulled into the driveway of her father's house. Castle looked around as they dismounted, taking in the friendly, quiet neighborhood, before focusing on the house in front of them and what was about to occur.

"You alright?" Kate asked, noticing the change in his expression.

"Not really," Castle admitted. "I'm terrified."

"Rick," Kate took his hand. "Look at me." She waited until he obliged before continuing. "My dad knows how I feel about you. He knows everything that you've done for me, including saving my life, and he already loves you because of that, okay? I promise you, you two are going to get along just fine. Trust me."

"Okay," he said.

She kissed him gently and felt him relax a bit. "You ready?" she asked as they separated.

He took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be," he said, smiling at her. With that, he slung an arm around her shoulders and they headed up the driveway.

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope this chapter isn't too OOC. We haven't really met Jim Beckett that much so I didn't really have much to go on, but I'm assuming that after what he and Kate went through they are pretty close. Any feedback would be appreciated though because he's going to be included in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: So this chapter was really hard to write for two reasons: (1) We don't know Jim Beckett very well and (2) I have a terrible relationship with my dad so I didn't have a lot to base this off of. I hope it's not too out of character or anything because I'm not super confident in how it turned out. I would love to bring Jim Beckett back again later, but I'm not sure how/if I know enough about him to really make that work. Ideas?_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Jim Beckett had just finished laying out the fixings for lunch when he heard a motorcycle pull into his driveway. Glancing out the window, he smiled as the pair dismounted and removed their helmets. He knew all about Castle's reputation and had planned to question him on his intentions towards his daughter. But as he saw them talking softly, saw the way Kate kissed him, and saw the look that Castle gave her as he put his arm around her, he realized that conversation might not be necessary. It was the same way he had looked at Johanna and he knew right then how Castle felt about his daughter. The couple was already head-over-heels in love with each other and he was so glad that Kate had finally found the happiness she deserved.

Hearing a knock, he wiped his hands on a dish towel and headed to the door. He opened it to reveal his smiling daughter and a handsome yet very nervous-looking author.

"Hey, Dad," Kate said, stepping forward to hug him.

"Hey, Katie," Jim replied, kissing her cheek as they separated.

"Dad, this is Rick Castle," Kate said, nudging him forward a bit. Her eyes were full of pride as she introduced him and it warmed Castle's heart.

"Nice to meet you, Rick" Jim said, taking his hand firmly. "Call me Jim."

"Nice to meet you too," Castle replied, returning the handshake.

There was a slightly awkward pause before Jim stepped back and said, "Come on in, I was just finishing making lunch." They crossed the threshold into the house and Castle looked around curiously. While it was clear that Jim lived alone, there were feminine touches that he guessed were left as reminders of Johanna, and a lot of pictures.

Kate took Castle's helmet and coat and tossed them on the couch before turning to look at him. "You want a tour?" she asked, noticing his wandering gaze.

"Uh, sure," he said, her words snapping him out of his thoughts.

Jim looked from his daughter to the very anxious Castle and he could tell that the two of them needed a minute. "Why don't you show him around and I'll finish up with lunch," he suggested. "I thought maybe we could eat outside."

"Oh, well we can help if you want," Kate offered immediately.

"No, don't worry about it," he said. "You two go ahead." With that, he turned and headed back to the kitchen.

Kate turned back to Castle, who was looking at a picture of Johanna and Jim on their wedding day. "They look so happy," she murmured.

"They do," Castle said wistfully.

Kate did not miss the sad expression that crossed his face. She reached for his hand and was about to ask what was wrong when she realized that his hand was trembling. "Rick?" she asked suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Your hand is shaking," she pointed out. "Are you all right?" She knew he was nervous but she had never seen him like this before.

He looked down at her, hoping that he appeared more confident than he felt. "Yeah, I'll be fine." He paused, trying to regain his composure. "How about that tour?"

"Okay." Kate was unconvinced but she knew this was not the time or place to push him. They had a one-hundred-percent honestly policy with each other and she knew he would tell her when he was ready. Squeezing his hand, she led him through the house, smiling to herself as he stopped to admire pictures or comment on certain items. By the time they made it back to the kitchen, he seemed much more relaxed, so Kate unlaced their fingers to give her dad a hand with the food.

Five minutes later, they were settled around the small picnic table on the back porch. Jim had put together a tray of sandwich fixings and there was a fruit and vegetable tray as well as glasses of lemonade. As they made sandwiches, father and daughter caught up on the latest in their lives as Castle listened with interest. He knew the pair was close but this was a side of Kate he had not seen before. Almost everybody was most comfortable around their family and he felt privileged to watch the two interact.

"So, Rick," Jim said after a couple minutes. "Kate tells me you have a teenage daughter?"

"Uh, yes, I do," Rick said, setting his sandwich down. "Her name is Alexis. She's seventeen," Rick paused as he removed a picture from his wallet and handed it to Jim.

He looked at it thoughtfully. "She's a beautiful girl," Jim said, handing the picture back.

"So nothing like her father," Kate interjected teasingly.

"Hey!" Rick swatted her arm, but Jim could tell by the looks they exchanged that it was all in good fun.

"You know I'm kidding," she teased giving him a quick kiss. "Alexis is a great girl."

Castle was caught completely off-guard by her actions. They usually kept the physical aspects of their relationship fairly private and he certainly was not expecting Kate to kiss him in front of her father.

This time it was Jim who watched with interest. He had seen earlier in the driveway how close the two were and as he watched them now, it only confirmed his thoughts. They smiled lovingly at each other before remembering where they were and returning their attention to their food and Kate's father. He was smiling to himself and winked at Kate when he caught her eye. She grinned as she resumed her lunch, one hand now resting on Castle's leg.

For the rest of their lunch, the three settled into a light-hearted conversation, touching on Castle and Beckett's latest cases and Castle's newest book among other things. By the end of lunch, Castle found himself finally able to breathe normally again and his heart rate had calmed down to a reasonable speed. He had managed to not say or do anything stupid thus far and he and Jim were getting along well. Every few minutes, Kate would give his thigh a reassuring squeeze and he was gradually starting to share some of her confidence in the situation. That was until she excused herself to use the restroom, leaving Castle alone with Jim. Suddenly, he found his heart rate soaring again.

"So, how long have the two of you been together?" Jim asked, breaking the silence before it had a chance to become too awkward.

"Uh, about a month and a half," Castle answered.

"That's all?" Jim asked in surprise.

"Uh, yeah," Castle stammered. "Why?"

"Just the way you two look at each other. It's so…." Jim struggled to find the correct word, "deep."

"Well, we've worked together for a couple years," Castle said. "And bad timing got in the way for a while too," he added.

"But you love her?" Jim questioned. He wanted to be sure Kate was not going to join the string of women that Castle had left behind.

"More than anything," Castle answered earnestly and Jim could tell from the look in his eyes that he was being completely truthful.

"Does she know?" Jim asked.

"Absolutely," Castle said.

Jim smiled. "Good. I know she feels the same."

"I know," Castle said with a smile.

"Well make sure it stays that way," Jim said. "I haven't seen her this happy in years."

"I feel the same way," Castle said honestly. "And I have no intention of leaving her."

"Good," Jim said, meeting his eyes. The opening of the patio door ended the moment and Castle let out the breath he did not realize he was holding as Kate rejoined them at the table.

"You okay Rick?" Kate asked, sensing his tension.

"Uh, yeah," he managed, attempting to smile assuredly at her.

'_What did you say to him?_' Kate mouthed to her father. Jim opened his mouth but hesitated. "Hey, Rick, can you give us a second?" she asked gently.

"Uh, sure, I'll just, uh…." He reached for their empty glasses. "I'll go get us some more lemonade."

As the door shut behind him, Kate turned to her father. "Dad, what did you do?" Kate asked. She had never seen Castle so frazzled before.

"Just questioning his intentions, Katie," he said. "I know what he's like. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm not going to, Dad," Kate said confidently.

Jim reached out and took her hand. "I just wanted to make sure," he said.

Kate covered his hand with her own, knowing that he was just looking out for her. "Thanks, Dad." She heard a knock on the patio door and looked up to see Rick balancing three glasses of lemonade. Letting go of her dad's hand, she stood up and opened the door for him.

"Can I come back out now?" he asked as she took one of the glasses from him.

She smiled. "Of course." She saw the look of apprehension on his face. "Hey, relax, it's okay. He's just being protective. Like you are with Alexis."

"And now I know how Ashley felt," Castle said with a chuckle.

Kate laughed too, glad to see him loosening up again. They reclaimed their seats, feeling the tension dissipate as the conversation resumed its earlier light-heartedness. Before they realized it, three hours had passed.

"Well, you two should probably head on back to the city," Jim said, glancing at his watch.

"Yeah I guess so," Kate said reluctantly. They all stood and began to clear the table, taking the remnants of their lunch into the kitchen.

"Would you like some help cleaning up?" Castle asked, placing a pile of dishes in the sink.

"Nah, that's okay," Jim responded. "You two go ahead, I'll take care of it."

"You sure?" Kate asked.

"Positive," Jim replied.

"Okay." She headed through to the living room to retrieve their jackets with Castle and Jim following.

"It was nice to finally meet you, Rick," Jim said as Kate handed Rick his coat.

"You too," Rick said, shaking his hand. "You have a wonderful daughter." He glanced over at Kate who was now blushing.

Jim smiled. "Thank you," he said. "You take care of her. Keep her safe."

"I will."

They each reclaimed their hands and Castle slipped his jacket on as Jim turned to Kate. "We'll have to do this again soon."

"Absolutely," Kate said.

"Be safe sweetie, okay?" he said, stepping towards her.

"I will." She wrapped her arms around her father. "I love you."

Jim returned the embrace, bending down to whisper in his daughter's ear. "You know, Mom would have loved him. He's a keeper, Katie. Don't let him get away."

Kate smiled, fighting back tears. "I know, Dad." She said as they separated. "I won't." She kissed his cheek before turning and following Castle outside, waving one last goodbye before Jim shut the door.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked, seeing the tears in Kate's eyes as she turned away from the house.

She nodded. "Yeah, just something my dad said."

"Care to share?" Castle asked gently.

Kate looked up at him and smiled. "He said that my mom would have loved you."

He smiled back at her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm sure I would have loved her too."

* * *

"You doing okay?" Kate asked as they entered her apartment an hour later.

"Yeah, I'm just exhausted," Castle admitted. "Emotional day, you know?"

"You were pretty nervous," Kate agreed.

"I was a mess," he said. "I was so afraid I was going to do something stupid. I just….I haven't been that nervous in a long time."

"My dad doesn't bite," she teased. He did not even smile. "And he liked you. A lot."

"I'm so glad he did," he said, and Kate did not miss the look of relief that crossed his face.

"Rick, what's wrong?" she asked seriously, sitting on the couch and pulling him down next to her. "Were you really that worried?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "I told you I was terrified. I wasn't kidding."

"Why?" she asked. The Castle she knew was always so confident and it was weird for her to see him like this.

"Because…." he stopped. He was not sure he wanted to have this conversation yet.

"Rick," she probed.

He took a deep breath before trying again. "Because today felt like a make-it-or-break-it type of thing," he admitted. "I've never wanted something to go right so badly in my life."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Just that….I know what you and your dad have been through and I knew that if he and I didn't get along that I didn't stand a chance with you," he admitted. "I know you were confident it would be fine but I just…." He trailed off again. "I guess the author in me kept writing worst-case scenarios in my head. I figured that if things went badly we would be through." He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

"You really think that?" she asked. He nodded. "You think I would leave you that easily?" She reached out to lift his chin so that their gazes met, and was surprised to find a look of terror in his eyes. "Rick, I wouldn't have introduced you to him if I thought this wasn't going to work out," she said softly.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked hesitantly. Coming from Kate, that was a huge confession.

"Of course," she said. "What, you think I'm not serious about this?" Kate was slightly hurt. And surprised to find herself on this end of the conversation. She always figured she would be the one concerned that he would leave, not the other way around.

"I know you are now," he replied. "Before I wasn't entirely sure."

Kate was completely taken aback. "Rick, I love you," she said. "I want to be with you. I thought we figured all of this out when we got together."

"We did, I just…." He paused, trying to decide how best to say this. "Look, I know I have a crappy track record," he said, "but part of the reason for that is because I was scared. Meredith _cheated_ on me. She _left_ me for someone else. I didn't ever want to go through that again so I tried to avoid committing. Gina and I left each other, so I'm partly to blame for that, but no matter who I'm with part of me is still terrified that I'm eventually not going to be good enough for them."

Kate saw the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes and reached out to cup his face with both hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never knew. You always seem so confident and I guess I just assumed you were like that with relationships too."

"I wish I was," he said softly, shaking his head. "People look at the tabloids and they always think that I'm the one who's going to run when really I'm the one who's afraid of being left in the dust."

"That's the biggest thing that kept me from getting together with you, you know?" Kate said. Castle looked at her questioningly. "The fear that you would run," she clarified.

"I know," he said. "I could tell." They were silent for a moment. "What changed your mind?"

"You stayed," Kate answered. "You stayed when anyone else would have left. You fought when anyone else would have given up."

"I'm so glad I did," he said earnestly.

"Me too," she said. "And I'm telling you right now, you can be confident about this. About us. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Me neither," he said with a smile. "I'm sorry for doubting you."

Kate smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "It's okay." She paused. "He never met Josh, you know," she added quietly, wanting to prove to Castle just how serious she was.

"Your dad?"

"Yeah," she answered.

Castle was surprised. "Why not?"

"I guess a part of me always knew it wouldn't last," Kate admitted. "And my dad doesn't like to see me get hurt."

Castle nodded understandingly. "As a father, I can identify with that. I guess that explains what he said to me."

"I could tell you were flustered when I came back," Kate said.

Castle laughed. "You came back just at the right time. I'm pretty sure I was about to have an anxiety attack." He paused, thinking back to the severed heads ploy he had intended to pull on his daughter's first prom date. "I'm going to be much more understanding next time a guy shows up for Alexis."

Kate laughed. "No you won't," she said. "I know you. You'll be protective, just like any father is. But don't worry, I think it's sweet." Castle smiled, his thoughts drifting off to Alexis. "Where is Alexis tonight, by the way?" she asked as though she was reading his mind.

Castle was brought back to the present by her voice. "Her friend's house. They're having a girl's night."

"So you're not needed at home?" Kate asked, her voice suddenly taking on a seductive quality.

"Uh, no I….I guess not," Castle stammered. He still could not believe how easily she could render him unable to speak coherently.

"Good," Kate said, standing up. "Because I believe we made a deal earlier and it looks like it's time for me to hold up my end of the bargain." With one last backwards glance, she headed towards her bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter did not go at all how I planned. Once I sat down and started writing, it kind of took off in its own direction. So be forewarned, it's kind of an emotional rollercoaster._

_Disclaimer: I'm terrible about remembering to include these but sadly nothing has changed since I started this story. Still don't own Castle._

**Chapter 11**

Kate awoke the next morning to the feeling of lips on her forehead. She opened her eyes to find Castle staring at her in wonder. "What?" she asked sleepily, not even bothering to complain about how creepy it was when he stared at her like that.

"Just remembering last night," he said with a grin.

"Yeah?" suddenly she found that she was wide awake. "What about it? Besides the fact that you kept me up until well past two." _Doing delicious things to my body the whole time,_ she added in her head.

"You were an eager participant," he replied with a sexy smile.

That, she could not deny. She had discovered on their first night together that he was _very_ talented and though she would never admit it out loud, she could never get enough of him. "You mean like this?" she asked as she simultaneously kissed him and ran her hands down his torso.

"Uhhh…." was all he could manage as his mind went blank. No woman had ever had this much power over him before and he knew he would never find this with anyone else, but after their conversation the previous evening, he also knew he had no reason to worry. She was his and he was hers, and as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him, he was confident that nothing would ever change that.

* * *

"So I have an idea," Castle said some time later. He and Kate were still in bed and neither of them had bothered to look at the clock yet this morning.

"What's that?" Kate asked.

Castle leaned in and kissed her. "We spend all day right here." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Kate rolled her eyes, although it was mainly to suppress her initial response to his suggestion. In all honesty, she could not think of anything else she would rather be doing on a Sunday. However, her stomach chose that moment to assert its hunger and both of them burst out laughing.

"Okay, maybe we should eat breakfast first and _then_ spend the rest of the day right here," he corrected.

"And be so sore that we can't move tomorrow?" Kate asked.

"I think that's going to happen anyways," Castle said with a grin.

Kate could not help but smile. "Me too."

Just as their lips met, the ringing of a phone interrupted the moment. "Ugh, murderers have the worst timing," Castle groaned as they pulled apart to search for her phone.

"I'll be sure to tell him that when we catch him," Kate said as she picked up the phone in question. "Or," she said, handing it to him, "you can blame your daughter for this one."

"I'd rather she not know what she's interrupting," he said, taking the phone. "Hey sweetie."

Kate teased him as he talked, tracing patterns on his chest and kissing her way down his neck and she could not help but laugh as she watched him try-and mostly fail-to focus on his phone conversation.

"You're evil," he said to Kate after he hung up the phone.

Kate gave him a wicked smile. "Yes, but you love me anyways."

Castle pulled her in for a searing kiss. "That I do," he said when they separated.

Kate grinned. "So what did Alexis want?"

"Me," Castle said, trying to hide his disappointment at having to leave. "She has a science project and needs to go shopping for supplies. Plus we always work on them together."

"Mr. Mom," she teased.

"Make fun of me all you want but they've been some of the best days of my life," he said, climbing out of bed and searching for his clothes. "However, I guess I should probably head home."

"Oh, so you're fine interrupting our day for your daughter but not for murder?" Kate joked.

"That's not….I didn't…." he began.

"Rick, relax," she said. "I was just kidding. I would never keep you from Alexis." She climbed out of bed and wrapped herself in her bathrobe.

"You could come with," he suggested. She opened her mouth but hesitated and Castle noticed immediately. "If you don't want to, don't worry," he said quickly.

"I just…." she began, struggling to find the right words. She loved spending time with both Castle and his daughter but as her brain was starting to function again, she was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

"You need space." It was not a question.

"I…."

"You can tell me, Kate, I'm not going to get upset," Castle said sincerely.

She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I need some space."

"Okay." Castle knew she was still fighting her instinct to run despite her promise that she was not going anywhere. He had known from the beginning that it was going to be difficult to get close to her and he understood why. He knew she trusted him, but he also knew that she was not used to being in this deep, and he suspected that was why she was still a bit flighty.

"I'm sorry," she said. "This is all just really intense and I'm not used to it."

"I know," he agreed. "I didn't mean for things to get too serious too fast but…."

"It kind of just happened," Kate finished.

Castle nodded. "Yeah. But you can have all the time you need, okay? I'll wait."

"You're okay with that?" she asked tentatively.

"For you, Kate, I would wait forever." His words warmed her heart in a way she had never felt before. Sure, there had been other men who had said things like that to her, but none with the sincerity that Castle had just expressed. While a few months ago she would have doubted him as well, she knew with certainty that he meant it. Initially she had thought that she was the only one terrified about this relationship, but after yesterday she knew that he was just as scared. She had the potential to completely break him.

"I won't make you wait that long," she said lightly, hoping to ease some of the tension. Castle smiled, but she could tell it was somewhat forced. "I'll see you tomorrow at the precinct, okay?" He nodded and headed out of her room without a word. Her heart sank. "Rick," she called, hurrying after him. She caught up to him by the front door where he was putting his shoes on. "Hey," she said, grabbing his arm and forcing him to face her. "You said you wouldn't get upset."

"I'm not," he replied, though it was only partially true. "I'm just…." he trailed off. "I have to go."

"Rick." Kate grabbed his other arm and pulled him close. "Look at me," she demanded. He took a deep breath before meeting her eyes. "It's just today, okay?" she said. "I just need today to be by myself and adjust to things. I told you last night, I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not. But I still need some me time."

He nodded, looking slightly less upset this time. "Okay."

"I love you," she said softly, tilting her head up to kiss him. "Tell Alexis I say 'hi.' I'll see you tomorrow."

"Will do," he said as she pulled away. "I love you too. See you." With that he turned away and left her apartment.

As she stood at the door and watched his retreating figure she felt an empty feeling take over. It was not the first day they had spent apart since they had been dating but suddenly she felt so alone. Kate shut the door and leaned back against it, sliding to the floor. She felt terrible. She had never had to ask a guy for space. Her previous boyfriends were just as busy as she was. What she usually had to worry about was having time to actually see them. With Castle, she spent all day everyday with him and spent half of her nights with him as well. Not that it was a bad thing. She loved him and she loved spending time with him and his family. She loved falling asleep with him and there was no better way to start her day than to wake up in his arms. But she also knew the dangers of becoming so wrapped up in something that you lost track of yourself. Someday, she would be ready to take that step with Castle, but right now, she was not ready to give up her independence. As happy as she was when she was with him, she needed to remember that she could be happy on her own too.

Before she realized what was happening she had tears running down her cheeks. Although he had promised not to get upset, she knew he had. She knew she had hurt him and she could see that he had been trying to hide it which made her feel even worse. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, burying her face in her legs. She felt worse now than she had after breaking things off with Josh and this was not even a break up. It was just a request to spend a day apart. _What is wrong with me?_ she thought. _Maybe I should call him and tell him I changed my mind_. Once she convinced herself to stand up, she went off in search of her phone, pressing a familiar number on her speed dial.

* * *

"You look like you could use a drink," Lanie said as she stepped into Kate's apartment. She had been planning to call Castle until she realized that she had no clue what she intended to say to him, so instead she had dialed Lanie, knowing that she needed some advice.

"Probably, but it's not even noon yet," Kate said as she flopped down on the sofa. She had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt but had not bothered to take a shower. She was sure she looked like crap.

"You don't look so good," Lanie commented, affirming Kate's suspicions as she joined her on the couch. "What happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Kate admitted.

"You didn't break up, did you?" Lanie asked in a panicked voice.

"No," Kate answered. "But I kind of feel like we did." Lanie listened intently as Kate rehashed her conversation with Castle. "I just don't get it," Kate said as she finished explaining. "I told him I'd see him tomorrow. I kissed him goodbye and said 'I love you,' but it was like I completely devastated him."

She was in tears again and Lanie scooted over to put an arm around her friend. "Kate, honey, he's just scared," Lanie said. "You know what you want, but to him it seems like you're pulling away."

Kate nodded. "I know."

"Did you tell him that?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah," Kate responded. "Yesterday and this morning."

"Wait, this happened yesterday too?" Lanie asked, confused.

"No, what I just told you happened this morning. We went to my Dad's yesterday."

Lanie smiled, proud of Kate for following through on that. "How was it?" she asked.

"It was good," Kate replied honestly, wiping her eyes. "I don't think my dad completely trusts him. But he liked him. And Rick was so nervous he was practically shaking."

"Seriously?" Lanie asked. She could not imagine the attention-loving Richard Castle being nervous.

Kate nodded. "Yeah. We got to talking about it when we got home and he admitted that he figured that if he didn't get along with my dad that we would be through," Kate said, remembering his words.

"He's scared," Lanie repeated.

"I know, but I don't know why," Kate said. "I've told him what I want, I've told him I'm not going anywhere, but it's like he still doesn't believe me," Kate said as tears filled her eyes again. "I don't know what else I can say and I don't want to keep having this issue with him."

"Well then you need to stop being scared too," Lanie said.

"I'm not," Kate said immediately. "If I was, I wouldn't have introduced him to my dad."

"No, no, not scared of that," Lanie clarified. "You need to stop being scared of your feelings."

"I'm not," Kate said again.

"Yes you are," Lanie said. Kate opened her mouth to protest but Lanie cut her off. "You are," she said matter-of-factly. "I know you, Kate. This relationship is moving fast and it's freaking you out. You're not used to someone having so much power over you. You're not used to having so much power over someone else. You're not used to having someone there for you all the time. And I know it's scary but it's a good thing. I'm glad you've finally found someone who you trust with everything. Now you just need to trust yourself."

Silence fell as Kate looked at the floor and fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Finally she nodded and looked up. "You're right," she conceded. "It scares me to know how much I need him. I used to be fine on my own and suddenly I feel so weak. I feel like I'm losing my independence and I don't know how to handle that."

"But you're not," Lanie assured her. "Although there's nothing wrong with losing a little bit of it from time to time, especially when you have someone you _can_ depend on. And if there's one thing you are not, Kate Beckett, it's weak. You are the strongest person I know."

"And yet I'm sitting here crying," Kate retorted.

"That doesn't make you weak," Lanie said. "That makes you human." Kate scoffed. "Sweetie, I'm just trying to help," Lanie said softly.

"Sorry," Kate muttered.

"It's fine," Lanie said. "Now, what you need to do is to tell him what you just told me. Tell him how you feel, tell him what scares you."

"He'll think I'm pathetic," Kate said.

"No he won't," Lanie said firmly. "Kate, think of all you've been through together. He's seen you at your worst and he never left your side. He's not going to judge you for it and he's certainly not going to think you're pathetic. He loves you for exactly who you are, Kate, and you are incredibly lucky to have someone like that."

"But still," Kate protested but stopped when she realized she had no clue what to say.

"But nothing," Lanie said. "Tell him. I promise you he will understand."

"How can you be so sure?" Kate asked skeptically.

"Let me ask you this," Lanie said. "Has he ever misunderstood you?"

"Not really," Kate said. "At least not once he got to know me."

"Has he ever judged you when he's seen you cry?"

"No."

"Has he ever left your side when things got rough?"

"No."

"That's why I'm sure," Lanie said confidently. "He'll listen to what you say and he'll work through it with you and he won't leave your side until you figure it out."

"But what if he doesn't?" Kate asked. "What if he thinks that I should stop being so independent or that things aren't moving too fast."

"Has he ever asked you to change who you are for him?" Lanie asked.

Kate was silent for a moment as she realized Lanie's point. "No," she answered.

"Then you don't have to worry about that," Lanie said. "He fell in love with you for you so all you have to do is just be yourself."

"What about the rest of it?" Kate asked. "I mean, he promised when we got together that we would do this at my speed so I can't just tell him that I'm freaked out by how fast we're going. I picked the speed. I freaked myself out."

"You may have picked what happened when but you can't pick the speed of your feelings, sweetie," Lanie said. "You were in love with him before you even got together."

Kate could not really deny that statement. "True," she said.

"You're both crazy in love with each other, so just follow your heart," Lanie said. "Stop thinking about how scared you are and just enjoy it. I know how hard it is for you to not be in control but you already admitted that you trust him, so just let go. He's not going to hurt you. Let him take control sometimes and let yourself lean on him because then he'll know that you fully trust him and he won't be so scared."

Kate nodded. "Okay," she said. "I'll try."

"And tell him what you've told me," Lanie reiterated squeezing Kate's arm. "He needs to understand why you wanted to be alone today."

"Okay," Kate said. "Thanks, Lanie."

"Anytime, girl," Lanie replied. She paused before adding, "Now that we've gotten all that out of the way, I want to hear about the _rest_ of your night." Kate blushed fiercely. "Mmhmm," Lanie said, spotting her friend's reaction. "That's what I thought."

"If I'm walking awkwardly tomorrow, you'll know why," Kate said with a grin. She felt much lighter now that she had shared everything with Lanie but she also knew she had some serious thinking to do before she talked to Castle.

Lanie's grin grew wider. "Good for you!" she said. "You need some spice in your life. Now, you go shower and we're going to go out to lunch."

Kate was about to protest when her stomach growled loudly. After this emotional wreck of a morning, she had been too upset to eat breakfast. "Okay, I'll be ready in half an hour," she said, standing up and heading for the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Later that evening, Castle and Alexis were hovering over a set of candles and setting Cheetos on fire. Alexis's science class was doing a unit on energy and she was burning various snack foods to determine how many calories were in them. The remnants of peanuts, cashews, potato chips, cheez-its, and gummy bears were on the counter next to them and the rest of the package of gummy bears was being quickly devoured.

"Dad, where's Kate?" Alexis asked as she stabbed another Cheeto. It was the question he had been dreading all day but he knew she was going to ask at some point. "I haven't seen her in a few days."

Castle took a deep breath. "Probably at home," he said.

"Did something happen?"

"No, she just needed some space. We're together a lot, you know, and I think she just needed some time on her own," he said. "At least I hope that's all it is," he added under his breath.

Alexis was about to question him when the front door opened and Martha appeared. "Hello," she announced in her typical grand entrance fashion.

"Hi," two voices replied in unison.

"What in the world is going on in here?" Martha asked as she poked her head into the kitchen. "And why does it smell like burnt peanut butter."

"Why do you know what burnt peanut butter smells like?" Castle asked.

"Don't ask," she replied. "_What_ are you two _doing_?" she asked as she walked up behind them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Science project," Alexis answered.

Martha looked around in amusement. "Okay, well I will be upstairs, far away from the disastrous mess that this," she motioned at the counter and the piles of food, "is likely to cause. Don't catch the house on fire." With that, she disappeared.

"Burnt peanut butter," Castle mused. "You know, we have whole jar, we could add that to your experiment."

"Ewwww," Alexis replied. "No." Castle laughed. She considered pressing the Beckett issue more but was glad to see him smiling again and decided that she would rather see him happy at the moment.

* * *

About an hour later, they were cleaning up the kitchen when Castle's phone rang. He was certain he knew who it was and as he dried his hands and pulled out his phone, his suspicions were confirmed.

"It is Kate?" Alexis asked, peering at the screen.

"Yeah," he said. He indicated the remaining mess. "I'll be back to help in a few." He headed for his office before taking the call. "Hey," he said, settling down in his chair.

"Hey," she said. There was an awkward pause. "How's the science project going?"

"Almost done," he replied. "My inner child has had a fantastic day."

"I'm not even going to ask," she said, and he imagined she was rolling her eyes at him. Her voice was light-hearted enough but they were both obviously ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Kate…."

"Look, Rick…." They both began at the same time and stopped.

Castle chuckled. "Go ahead," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said simply.

"You don't have to apologize, Kate," he said.

"Maybe not, but I owe you an explanation. I should have said something this morning," Kate said. She paused. "Can I come over for a bit?"

"Of course," Castle said. "Come on in when you get here, it's unlocked."

"Alright, I'll see you in a few," she said.

As soon as Castle hung up the phone, his brain went into overdrive. What could possibly be so important that she needed to come all the way over here to explain it to him? Had she finally decided that he was way out of her league, that she needed someone less famous and more normal? Was she going to break up with him? He shuddered at the last thought, trying to push it as far out of his mind as possible. After taking a moment to calm himself down he rejoined Alexis in the kitchen, figuring that keeping busy would be the best way to keep his mind off of Kate.

"Is she okay?" Alexis asked, worried.

"Yeah, she's on the way over. She and I have some things to work out," Castle answered honestly as he wiped down the counter.

"But you guys will be okay, right?" Alexis looked genuinely distraught.

"Yeah, I think we will," he said. He had no way to be sure but he decided to be optimistic this time in an effort to convince his daughter. And himself.

* * *

Half an hour later, Castle and Alexis were perched on bar stools working on her project. There was a large posterboard in front of them along with her lab notebook and a box of markers had been haphazardly dumped on the counter. Alexis was making a graph of her results while Castle was attempting to draw a gummy bear on the poster. He was so engrossed that he did not hear the front door open.

"Rick," Kate called out, startling him.

"In the kitchen," he replied as he put the finishing touch on his drawing.

"Hey," she said as she walked up behind him. Castle and Alexis both looked up.

"Hi Kate," Alexis said excitedly, clambering off the stool to give the detective a hug.

"Hey Alexis," Kate said, returning the gesture. "How's the project going?"

"Pretty well, we're just making my poster." She indicated the counter.

Kate looked it over. "It looks good so far," she said.

"Thanks," Alexis replied. "Dad, that looks like a pig, not a gummy bear," she said teasingly and Kate could not help but smile at the dynamic between father and daughter.

"Hey now, I thought it was pretty good," he said, putting the marker down and turning to face Alexis. "Will you be okay finishing by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm almost done with this. Then all I have left is to write up the results and stuff," she answered.

"Okay, I'll proofread it in the morning?" he offered. She nodded. "We'll be in my office, knock if you need anything." He kissed her cheek and then stood up and turned to Kate.

"Lead the way," she said.

Once they were settled, he looked at her anxiously. "So what's up?" he asked, trying to hide his terror at her potential answer.

Kate took a deep breath and began. "Rick, I know that it seemed like I was running this morning but I want you to know that's not the case," she said. "Or at least I wasn't running from you. I was running from myself."

"What do you mean?" Castle was confused already.

"I started overthinking things," she said. "I got freaked out by my own feelings. It's weird for me to have someone who's there for me when I need them. I'm not used to that. I'm used to dealing with things on my own," she explained. "I'm used to being independent and to not needing anybody but with you…." she paused. "You've helped me through so many things, Rick, and sometimes when I start thinking about how much I needed you in those moments it freaks me out. It makes me feel like I'm not independent anymore. Like I'm….not me." She looked up at him. "Does that make sense?"

Castle considered her. "Yeah, it does," he said. "That always happens in a new relationship. You have to figure out how you can fit in with the other person without losing sight of yourself."

Kate stared at him. Yet again, he had understood exactly how she was feeling. Lanie's words from this morning flitted through her head and she knew she should not have been so surprised. _Has he ever misunderstood you?_

"I know the feeling." Castle decided to elaborate when Kate did not respond. "You're afraid of becoming who the other person wants you to be instead of being who you are. I've made that mistake."

Kate did not have to ask to know that he was referring to his marriage to Gina. "I know," she said. "And I guess that's kind of how I was feeling this morning. That's why I didn't come with you today. I needed to make sure that I could still be myself."

"You don't ever have to worry about that, Kate," Castle said gently. "I would never ask you to change who you are and I would especially never ask you to give up your independence. That's one of the things I love the most about you. But that doesn't mean you can't lean on me at times because even though you _can _do it alone doesn't mean you _have _to."

She smiled. "I realize that now," she admitted. "But this morning I was too freaked out to notice. I guess I was kind of in emotional overdrive."

Castle returned her smile. "I can identify with that one too," he said. "I went through just about all of them yesterday."

Kate laughed before bringing the conversation back to serious. "So anyways, I'm sorry about this morning," she said again. "I should have told you all of this then but to be honest, I didn't really know what to say."

"It's okay," Castle said. "I understand that this is hard for you. Hell, it's hard for me and I haven't been through nearly as much as you have. But please just don't shut me out."

"I'm not going to," she assured him. "I trust you, Rick, with everything, and I want to be able to just let go and follow my heart."

"Then just do it, Kate," Castle said. "Let go. I know it's scary, but I'm right here and I'll catch you. I know things have happened fast and I know it's scary. It freaks me out too sometimes when I realize we haven't even been together for two months yet. But we're in this together and we'll figure out whatever comes our way."

"I know," she said. "But promise me something."

"Anything," he replied without hesitation.

"I know I can be difficult and I know I overthink things and freak myself out," Kate began. "But don't let me push you away. If I start to do that, push back."

Castle reached out and took her hands. "Okay," he said softly, realizing that this was a big step for her. For someone who had gone through as much as she had in her life, he understood her need to be in control, so it meant a lot to him that she was willing to give some of that up. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kate asked.

"For explaining," he said. "And for trying so hard to make this work."

Kate smiled. "You're welcome." They held each other's gaze for a moment before Castle reached out and drew her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

He reached up with one hand and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

Kate smiled and lifted her head to look him in the eye. "I love you too, Rick. So much." He smiled as she leaned up to kiss him sweetly. "Can I stay here tonight?" she asked as they separated.

Her question caught him by surprise. "Uh, sure," he answered.

"If you don't want me to…." Kate caught on to his hesitation.

"No, it's not that," he clarified quickly. "I just wasn't expecting you to ask that. But yes, absolutely. You're always welcome here."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, kissing her again. Now that things were mostly back to normal between them, the kiss went from gentle to heated and passionate faster than anyone would deem decent. Kate slid her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible while he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her hips firmly against his.

"Oh my god," Kate breathed as they both came up for air.

"I know," Castle agreed. "It just gets more intense every time."

Kate nodded. "Yeah, it does."

As he began to kiss his way across her jaw and down her neck, a sound from the kitchen brought both of them back to present. "Alexis," Kate said, stepping away from him a bit. Even though the door was shut, they silently agreed that it would be awkward to go any further right now.

"I should probably go see how she's doing," Castle said. He leaned in again, bringing his lips to Kate's ear. "We'll pick this up later," he said in a low voice and Kate felt the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.

She placed her hand firmly on his chest and shoved him back, but it was all in good fun. "Go," she said with a smile. "Go hang out with your daughter."

"If you want to get rid of me you could just say so," he teased.

Kate rolled her eyes. "You and I both know it would never be that easy."

"No, it wouldn't," Castle said sincerely, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're not getting rid of me." _Ever,_ he added in his head, but after the events of the morning, he decided it would be best to keep that to himself for now. They smiled at each other one last time before heading out to the kitchen to rejoin Alexis.

"How's it coming?" he asked his daughter as he approached.

"Almost done," Alexis replied looking up from her laptop.

"What exactly were you guys doing?" Kate asked as she observed the poster more carefully.

"Setting junk food on fire," Castle answered excitedly.

Kate swatted his arm. "I wasn't asking you."

"I know," he replied with a childish grin. "But I just…." Kate placed her hand firmly over his mouth, effectively shutting him up. Temporarily, at least.

Once he resigned himself to not being able to speak, he stepped back and watched happily as Alexis explained the project to Kate. Whether she knew it or not, Kate was like a mother to Alexis, much more so than Meredith or Gina ever had been. Meredith had only been interested in being a parent when it was convenient or when shopping was involved. Castle knew he had never really given Gina a chance to be a mother-figure but he thought that was probably for the best anyways. But Kate had assumed that role long before they had started dating. Alexis had looked up to her from the start and Kate had promised more than a year ago that she would take care of her if something happened to him. His smile widened as Kate helped Alexis organize the various graphs and write-ups on the posterboard and then picked up a marker and drew eyes on the gummy bear he had drawn earlier. Seeing his daughter and his girlfriend interact so naturally and knowing how much Kate cared for Alexis warmed his heart.

He was still grinning widely when Alexis turned around to ask his opinion. "What do you…."

"What?" he asked as his daughter trailed off and fixed him with a confused expression.

Alexis shook her head. "Nothing." She picked up the poster. "What do you think?"

"It looks really good," he said.

"Okay, well then I'm going to head up to bed I think," Alexis replied. "Dad, I'll leave it here for you to proofread."

"Ok, good night Pumpkin," he said as she stood and padded over to give him a hug.

"Night Dad." She kissed his cheek. "Night Kate."

"Good night sweetie," Kate said, the sentiment slipping out before she even realized it. When she turned back to Castle he was wearing the same huge grin. "What's got you so happy?" she asked.

"You," he said simply. "I love how well you two get along. She's never had someone like you in her life before. You're so good for her."

"Well, she's easy to get along with," Kate responded, although she was touched by his comments. She rested her hand on his arm. "You're a good father, Rick."

Castle turned to face her completely. "Thank you," he said earnestly. "I've always been so terrified of that, especially when I was raising her by myself. I'm not the greatest role model."

"You are when it matters," Kate pointed out. "Sure you've done some crazy things in public but when you're around her you're not like that. You're loving and caring and protective and-I can't believe I'm about to say this-responsible."

Castle chuckled. "I'm glad you can see that," he said. "I've taken a lot of public criticism about my parenting capabilities."

"Anyone that actually knew you would never say that," Kate reassured him. "You have nothing to be worried about."

Castle kissed her then, in it trying to convey his gratitude for what she had said along with his love for her which, after watching her and Alexis, was stronger than ever.

Kate kissed him back just as lovingly before pulling away slightly and tugging on his hand. "Maybe we should continue this upstairs."

Castle agreed and followed her to his bedroom. He closed the door and turned to find himself face to face with Kate. The woman was a constant surprise. "So," she said, trailing a finger seductively down his chest. "Where were we earlier?"

* * *

_Author's Note: First of all, I got the idea for Alexis's science project from my high school science class. I don't remember all the specifics but I know that we burned Cheetos, Fritos, and peanuts to determine how many calories were in them….and that it smelled disgusting! Second, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story and given me advice and feedback. I really, really appreciate it. Third, happy Castle day! New eppy tonight! And finally, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thoughts?_


	13. Chapter 13

_Author's Note: I know I say this almost every chapter, but thank you soooo much for all of the reviews/story alerts. I never expected when I started this story that it would be this popular, so thank you so much! You guys are inspiring me to keep writing!_

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Kate and Castle were startled awake at 5:30 a.m. the next morning by the ringing of Kate's cell phone. "Ugh," she groaned as she tried to slip out of Castle's embrace.

"Donanserit," he mumbled, hugging her tighter.

"I have to," she said as she attempted to pry his hands apart. His only reply was to grip her more firmly. "Rick," she said sternly and he finally let go. Even in his half-awake state he knew better than to get in between Beckett and her job. She rolled over and grabbed her phone. "Beckett," she answered more harshly than she meant to.

"Uh, good morning to you too," Esposito replied.

"Sorry," she muttered. "We got a body?"

"Yeah." He rattled off the address.

"Alright we'll meet you there." It slipped out before she realized it. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

"We?" Damn. Of course he would notice. He was a detective, after all.

"Uh, yeah, I'll let Castle know and both of us will meet you there," she managed. It was not like Ryan and Esposito did not know she and Castle were together, but they still jumped on any chance to tease her about it. She knew it was all in good fun because the two detectives were both happy that she and Castle had finally seen the light, but it still made her uncomfortable at times.

"Yeah, alright," Esposito responded in a voice that said showed quite clearly that he did not believe her. "See you soon."

"Go back to sleep," Castle said as she hung up.

She rolled over to face him and gave him a brief but firm kiss. "As much as I would love to stay here, we have a body."

"Okay," he said reluctantly. "Are you heading home then?"

She glanced back at the address she had jotted down. "Actually, the crime scene is just a few blocks away, do you mind if I just get ready here?"

"Not at all. In fact, I'd be more than willing to help you," he said with a wicked grin. "I take excellent showers."

"Nuh-uh," Kate said as she sat up. "If you get in the shower with me we'll never get to the scene on time."

"Exactly," he said. She glared at him. "No, just kidding, but you can use my shower or the one in the guest bathroom. That one probably has more girly shampoo and stuff in it."

"Okay, that works," she said, climbing out of bed. "Oh….god." she groaned as she stood.

"What?" Castle asked as he too attempted to stand. "Oh," he said suddenly, grabbing onto the headboard for balance. "Ouch."

"You too?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he said as he stiffly made his way toward the bathroom.

Kate wrapped herself in a bathrobe and gingerly began to walk across the room. "Oh we are never going to hear the end of this."

"I'm not sure if we should be embarrassed or proud of ourselves," Castle teased.

"I'm gonna go with proud," Kate said. "Because I don't think I've ever woken up this sore before."

"That almost sounds like a challenge," Castle said, sidling over to kiss her. "You might just find yourself saying that every morning now." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Go," she said, pushing him into his bathroom, but she was unable to hide her smile. "And if I hear that bathroom door open…." she warned, although her threats were not nearly as effective anymore, mainly because she had to try too hard to keep a straight face around him.

"Don't worry," he said. "Next time you see me I will, unfortunately, be fully clothed." She rolled her eyes before heading down the hall to the guest bathroom.

* * *

"Arriving in the same car at six-thirty in the morning?" Ryan asked as Kate and Castle showed up at the crime scene.

"I thought I'd interrupted something when I called," Esposito said as he joined the group.

"Yeah, my sleep," Kate said. She was silently thankful that nobody aside from Castle knew that she was wearing the same clothes as the day before.

"What about you, Castle?" Ryan asked.

"Well, I woke up to the ringing of a phone," Castle answered.

"Did you now?" Esposito asked. "A phone?"

"Yeah," Castle answered, unfazed. "This phone was ringing and then I heard Kate's voice say that there was a body." Technically, he was telling the truth.

"And you arrived in one car because?" Ryan asked.

Kate looked around, noting that there was only one other Crown Vic there despite the fact that both detectives were present. "Same reason you two did," she answered.

"Oh, no," Esposito said clearly. "I'm pretty sure our reason is _much_ different than yours."

Kate rolled her eyes before turning to Lanie. "What have we got?" The victim was a middle-aged man, a single father with a teenage daughter. Kate kept a close eye on Castle as Lanie talked, knowing that this one was probably going to hit too close to home for him. She could see in his face the moment it registered and she knew then that it was going to be a rough case.

As Lanie went over the details with Castle and Kate, Ryan and Esposito began plotting ways to make the two come clean about their relationship. It was obvious they were together. There had been no public statement so the guys had not said anything to the rest of the precinct, but they knew. Castle and Kate were together more often now. They would sometimes leave the precinct and grab lunch, something they never used to do. Not to mention their huge fight the previous week that Ryan and Esposito had overheard quite clearly. They could deny it all they wanted, but until they came clean, the guys intended to give them as much grief as possible.

Once Kate and Castle were caught up to speed, Ryan and Esposito reluctantly put their planning aside and rejoined the group. Once they had everything they needed, they all headed off in their own direction to start working on the case.

Kate was turning to leave when Lanie reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her close. "Girl, are you limping?" she asked in a low voice.

Kate grinned. "I'm trying not to," she said. "Should I try harder."

"Maybe a little bit," Lanie said. "I take it you talked to him last night?"

"Among other things," Kate said slyly. "But yes, I did, and we got things figured out."

"Good, I'm glad," Lanie said. She saw Castle approaching and decided not to push it any further for now. "Here he comes, you guys hobble on back to your car now," she teased.

Kate rolled her eyes but could not help the smile that spread across her face. "Make fun of me all you want but it's so worth it," she whispered as she turned away.

Lanie stared at her friend's retreating figure, her mouth open in shock. _What has gotten into her?_ she thought, although she already knew the answer. She shook her head as she watched Castle hustle up to Kate, also trying very hard to walk normally. _Whatever,_ Lanie thought as she packed up her supplies. _He's the best thing that ever happened to her._ Everybody at the precinct could see that, and no matter how much she denied it, Kate could see it too.

* * *

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Castle asked later that day. He and Beckett were on their way to visit the victim's coworkers and were stuck in traffic.

"Um, I don't know yet," she replied. "I guess it depends how this case goes. Why?"

"Well I thought we might go out to dinner….with Alexis, like we talked about."

"I can't promise tonight," she replied. "But sometime this week, once we close this case."

"That's good enough for me," he said. "Alexis has been so excited ever since I mentioned the idea. She really likes you, you know."

Kate smiled. "Well the feeling is mutual."

Castle smiled back. "And you have no idea how happy that makes me."

They fell into silence for a few minutes before Kate reached out and squeezed Castle's hand. "You holding up okay?"

He looked at her. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Rick, I saw your reaction at the crime scene. I could tell by your face the moment you realized how similar the victim was to you."

"But he's not me," Castle said. "I'm still here. You're not getting rid of me that easily. And besides, Meredith may be crazy but she's not a killer."

"I know, but nobody would blame you if you need to sit this one out," Kate assured him.

"It's okay, really," he said. "I'm fine."

Kate looked less than convinced, but they had arrived at the precinct so she let the subject drop. But as the afternoon wore on, she could see that it was starting to take a toll on Castle. She debated sending him home but she knew in that if she were in his position she would not have wanted to go home alone. In fact, she did not want to go home alone either; she was being affected much more deeply than normal by this case as well. So instead, they stayed at the precinct until well after midnight, both of them avoiding thinking about the nightmares that were likely to plague them when they went home.

At long last, however, Kate knew that they needed a break. It was almost one o'clock. There was no one else left at the precinct and they were both going to be exhausted tomorrow if they did not leave soon. No, scratch that. They were going to be exhausted anyways. But right now, Kate was struggling to keep her eyes open and she could tell that Castle felt the same.

She shut down her computer and grabbed his arm. "Come on, Rick, let's go," she said.

He was too tired to protest so he allowed himself to be practically dragged from his chair. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," she whispered.

The ride home was silent. Their fingers were intertwined between them but they were both completely lost in their thoughts. Despite his earlier reassurances, Castle was beginning to realize just how deeply this case was affecting him. All he could think about was what would happen if Alexis was left without a father. At least she would still have Kate, who Castle knew she viewed as a mother-figure, but he needed to be there for her as well.

Next to him, Kate was thinking nearly the same thing, except for instead of just Alexis, she was worried about herself too. She had no idea how she would survive if anything happened to Castle. It scared her just how much she would break if she lost him. She was relatively certain her entire world would be shattered beyond repair.

"Remember when you promised you would take care of Alexis if anything ever happened to me?" Castle broke the silence as they entered his building. Kate nodded. "You still would right?" He was relatively sure he knew the answer but he still had to ask.

"Of course, Rick," she said taking his hand. "You know I would never let anything happen to her."

"Thank you," he said softly, planting a kiss on her temple.

"You're welcome," she replied. "However, that situation is never going to occur," she said seriously.

"Trust me, I don't plan on it," Castle said.

"Good." Kate said it with a slightly teasing tone but there was a strong undercurrent of seriousness to her statement.

Since it was almost two by this point, they entered the loft and went straight to bed, barely managing to change into pajamas before collapsing onto Castle's bed. He pulled the covers tightly around them as Kate set her alarm and then settled in next to him, burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, cocooning her in his embrace.

"Good night," she murmured into his chest.

He squeezed her even tighter and planted a kiss in her hair. "Good night love."

* * *

The next day at the precinct was a tough one. Castle had been holding up surprisingly well so far, but as they found themselves deeper in the case, Kate could see a drastic change in his mood. It turned out that the man's wife had divorced him ten years ago and moved across the country, abandoning her daughter. Recently, she had gotten back into contact with her daughter but the girl wanted nothing to do with her mother. Rather than trying to work things out, evidence was now pointing to the fact that the mother killed the father in order to regain custody of her daughter.

As Ryan and Esposito left to track down the mother, Castle and Kate headed to the morgue to gather the most recent lab results. As soon as the elevator doors closed, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Kate, pulling her close.

"Castle," she scolded, pushing him away. "We're at work."

"Beckett….Kate, please," he said and she could detect the begging tone in his voice. "This case….I just….I need."

Seeing the pain in his face, she stepped back towards him and put her arms around his waist. "Okay, I'm sorry," she whispered as he returned her embrace. However, when the elevator dinged, she stepped away from him, forcing herself back in to detective mode. She understood why this case was hard for him but she needed to make sure it was not going to become too personal for her as well. _It's already personal,_ she reminded herself. _It's hurting Castle so it's hurting you as well._ She pushed the thoughts away as they entered the morgue.

After picking up the evidence from Lanie-and indulging in a brief session of girl talk while Castle waited outside-the pair headed back upstairs.

"Yo Beckett." They turned around at the sound of Esposito's voice. "Mother's in interrogation."

"Alright, I'll be there in five," Beckett replied, knowing there was something she had to take care of first. She turned to Castle and nodded her head towards the break room. He followed her tentatively, wondering what was happening. He did not have to wait long. "Rick," she said as she shut the door. "I want you to sit this one out, okay?" It was not really a question; her tone made it clear that he had no choice. "No arguments. This one is too personal for you and you don't want to see this." He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off, correctly anticipating what he had been about to say. "Not even from the observation room. Go home, alright, and after I finish the paperwork I'll come over and we can go out to dinner with Alexis."

As much as he wanted to protest, Castle knew that Kate was right. This case had been hard on him and he was exhausted. He knew she was just looking out for him and he was touched by her concern. He was usually the one that was concerned about her and he knew that he would say the same to her were their situations were reversed so he gave in. "Okay," he said. "Promise you'll leave as soon as you close this case?"

"Yes," she said. "I'll go home to change and then meet you at your place. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," he said.

Breaking their no-PDA rule, Kate reached out and squeezed his hands. "Go," she said gently. "I'll see you in a couple hours."

He squeezed back. "Okay." He lowered his voice. "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

_Author's Note #2: So I realized after writing this that not a lot actually went on in this chapter. It seems realistic but I'm not sure it's super interesting. The next chapter will be better, I promise._


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Note: So I wasn't so sure about the last chapter, but it got the most hits/visitors of any of them! You guys continue to amaze me with your support, so thank you. And also, if you have suggestions of things you would like me to include in this story, let me know! I'm open to ideas._

**Chapter 14**

After an emotionally stressful interrogation, the mother finally confessed to the murder. She confessed just in time too, because Kate was about thirty seconds from exploding. She was known for keeping her distance, keeping her feelings under wraps, but now that she was dating Castle and had become so close to his daughter, she was finding it difficult to restrain herself. She wanted to beat the living daylights out of the woman. She did not understand how anyone could be so heartless as to leave child without a parent. Kate knew all too well what that was like and anyone who had such a nonchalant attitude about it made her sick.

By the time she had talked to the teenager-who was going to live with her grandparents upstate-and finished her paperwork an hour later, she had calmed down slightly, but she was still shaken by how strongly this case had affected her.

She straightened up her desk before heading home to change. After slipping into something more casual, she headed across town to the loft.

She knocked on the door, expecting Castle to answer, so she was taken by surprise when she suddenly found herself wrapped in Alexis's arms. "Kate!" she exclaimed.

"Hey," Kate said, returning the hug as she stepped into the loft.

"I'm so excited you're coming with us," she said with a smile. "My dad's in his office, I'm going to go get changed really fast."

"Okay, I'll go track him down," Kate said as Alexis headed up the stairs.

Kate poked her head into Castle's and could not help but smile at the adorable sight that greeted her. He was sitting in his chair, feet up on the desk, laptop balanced on his lap, head drooping to one side as he slept. Pulling out her phone, she snapped a quick picture before walking over to him. She stepped around behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them gently. "Rick," she whispered.

He shifted in his chair. "Huh?" Slowly he opened his eyes and tilted his head back to look at her.

She leaned over and kissed him. "Hey there sleepyhead."

"Hey," he smiled, then slowly frowned as he realized she had stopped massaging him.

"What?" she asked.

"Don't stop." He reached up and patted her hand so she knew to what he was referring.

She gave his shoulders a couple more quick squeezes. "You're really tense," she commented. "However you have a very anxious daughter waiting for dinner. I'll rub the knots out later."

"Promise?" He sounded like a little kid.

Kate rolled her eyes but she had to admit it was pretty adorable. "Promise. Now go get ready for dinner."

"Bossy, bossy," he teased as he stood up. She rolled her eyes again. "I'll be ready in five," he said.

After Castle left the office, Kate meandered back out into the living room and found that Martha had emerged. "Hello, darling," she said dramatically, wrapping Kate up in a hug.

"Hello Martha," Kate said. She liked the woman, but at the moment she was a bit tired to deal with any of her famous overly dramatic antics.

Thankfully, Martha instead settled for simply asking how she was and such. Gradually the conversation switched to the topic of Kate and Castle's relationship. "I haven't seen him this happy in a long time," Martha was saying. "You bring out the best in him. The only other person who has ever been able to do that is Alexis. Being around you makes him want to be a better person."

Kate opened her mouth but had no idea what to say. Martha seemed to sense her hesitation because she spoke up again. "You don't have to say anything, dear," she said. "We're just all so glad you're a part of our lives."

Kate's eyes filled with tears as she still searched for something-anything-to say. "Thank you," she finally managed. What was it with this family and their ability to render her speechless?

Martha hugged her. "No, thank _you._" Kate returned her embrace, still fighting to keep her tears from falling.

Just as they separated, Alexis came bounding down the stairs. "Okay, I'm ready!" she exclaimed, hurrying towards her. She stopped short when she noticed the tears. "Wha….what's wrong? Is everything okay?" she asked in concern.

Kate nodded. "Yeah, it's….fine."

Alexis looked unconvinced and glanced at Martha for conformation. "It is, sweetie," Martha said. "I was just telling her how much we like having her in our lives."

Alexis nodded in agreement. "Yes we do," she affirmed, looking back at Kate again. "I love having you around and I know my dad does too. You're so good for him."

Kate chuckled past the lump in her throat. "Your grandmother was just saying the exact same thing."

"Well she was right," Alexis said. Kate smiled and reached out for the hug Alexis clearly had wanted to give her earlier. Alexis stepped into her arms easily.

This was exactly how Castle found the two when he reappeared in the living room a moment later. Kate looked up and watched as his face broke out into a huge grin. She smiled back as she released Alexis.

Castle joined the group. "How are my three favorite ladies doing?" he asked, bending down to kiss Alexis's cheek and putting an arm around Kate.

"Hungry," Alexis answered.

"Well, shall we head out then?" he asked. "Mother, you sure you don't want to join us?"

"Positive, darling, I have rehearsal in an hour," Martha replied.

"Alright, well don't burn the house down while we're gone," he teased as he, Kate, and Alexis headed for the door.

"Says the man who was burning Cheetos the other day," Martha pointed out. "I don't think it's me you have to worry about."

Kate laughed. "Don't worry, I'll keep him in line," she said, linking her arm through Castle's and walking out of the apartment.

Castle leaned down to whisper in her ear so that no one else could hear. "Promise to punish me if I'm bad?" he asked. Kate whacked him in the chest as they shut the door behind them, leaving Martha standing there wondering how the two of them managed to stay apart for so long. Anyone could tell they were perfect for each other. Kate brought out his (slightly) more mature side and Castle made her life more fun. And frankly, after two failed marriages and so many publicity stints, Martha was thrilled to see that the real Rick Castle was finding his way out into the light again.

* * *

Dinner was full of laughter, jokes, and storytelling and by the end, Kate had almost forgotten about the case that had consumed the last two days of her life. Castle had loosened up considerably as well, but she could tell that it was still eating at him. She discreetly reached over to rest a hand on his thigh and saw him visibly relax. She loved how much of a calming effect she had on him with just a simple touch. He placed his hand over hers and glanced over at her with a smile. She smiled back as Alexis watched them have another of their famous silent conversations.

Castle could have stared into her eyes all night, but his daughter was there and this was not the place, especially since they still had not taken their relationship public. He had taken them to a small, out-of-the-way Greek place near the loft, a place he and Alexis had discovered many years ago and was out of the eyes of the paparazzi.

"How do you guys do that?" Alexis asked as they tore their gazes apart and refocused on the meal.

"Do what?" Castle asked his daughter.

"Have eye conversations." Alexis stated it like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"I don't know, we just…." He trailed off and looked at Kate, who shrugged.

"We understand each other," Kate finished for him.

"We're on the same wavelength," Castle added.

"Now that's just scary," Kate and Alexis said at the same time.

Castle looked at them in shock. "So was that," he said, looking from Kate to Alexis and back to Kate. "Are you guys ganging up on me already?" he paused before realizing what they had said. "Wait, what's scary?"

Kate answered this time. "That I think on the same wavelength as you."

Castle looked affronted. "You should be flattered, detective, that your brain is as sharp and brilliant as mine." Kate and Alexis rolled their eyes. "There you go, you're doing it again!" he exclaimed.

"Doing what?" Alexis asked.

"Rolling your eyes." He looked at Kate. "You taught her the Beckett eye-roll?"

"I don't think I needed to teach her," Kate said. "After living with you for as long as she has, I'm sure she picked it up all on her own."

"She's right, Dad," Alexis said. "You inspire a lot of eye rolls."

Castle feigned hurt. "How could you ever roll your eyes at this," he gestured to himself.

"We don't have time to list all the reasons," Kate teased.

"But….." he began but was silenced when Kate stuffed food in his mouth. Alexis and Kate both laughed as Castle tried not to choke. "That's not fair," he said when he swallowed.

Alexis could see the wheels turning and knew that she had to stop him before this went any further. "Dad," she said sternly, removing his hand from where it was hovering over the basket of pita and hummus. "Not here."

"Why do I get the feeling that I should be worried?" Kate asked, looking between the two.

"Let's just say that Dad enjoys food fights a little too much," Alexis explained.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?"

The rest of the meal passed similarly, and before they knew it, two hours had gone by. "Well, we should probably head out," Castle said, looking at Alexis. "You have more homework, right?"

"Unfortunately," she said.

"Alrighty then, let's go." He signaled the waiter and once the bill was payed, the three of them headed back to the loft.

* * *

"So how are you really doing?" Kate asked. They were back at the loft now and Alexis had headed upstairs to finish her homework. Martha had yet to return from her function so Kate and Castle were alone in the living room, relaxing on the sofa and drinking wine

"I'm hanging in there," he answered. Spending time with Alexis had helped but Kate knew him well enough to notice the pain lingering in his eyes. "That case, it just….it made me so angry," he admitted. "I can't believe anyone could do that."

Kate nodded. "I know, I felt the same. I wanted to hurt that woman." She paused, deciding whether to admit anything else. "I kept seeing you lying at the crime scene," she finally said.

"I just don't see how a parent could willingly leave their child with only one parent," he said. "I mean, I only ever had one so I never knew any different, but…." He trailed off, realizing that he was probably making things harder for Kate. "Sorry," he said. "I guess I don't need to explain that to you."

Kate shook her head sadly. "No, you don't."

"How do you do it?" Castle asked. "How do you not hurt every killer you deal with? How do you stay so strong?"

"A lot of training," Kate said. "I had to learn to compartmentalize things and not let my anger get in the way….although it's still there, especially cases like this."

Castle shook his head. "I know they say to distance yourself sometimes I can't do it."

"I know," she said softly. "That's why I sent you home. You're not a cop and you're not trained for that."

"Sometimes I forget that," he admitted.

Kate laughed. "I know." Her laughter served to lighten the mood and as Castle joined her she could see that he was already beginning to feel better. She squeezed his hand. "So what do you want to do for the rest of the night?"

He looked at the clock. "I know it's not even ten but I'm kind of ready for bed," he admitted. He returned his gaze to her. "Will you stay?"

"Of course, Rick," she said. She was too tired to even consider driving home anyways and she knew he needed her.

As they settled into bed a few minutes later, Kate reached out to stroke his cheek, drawing a smile from him. She was so used to him being the happy, energetic, optimistic one in the relationship and it broke her heart to see him in pain. "It's okay, Rick," she said soothingly. "She's behind bars, she's not going to hurt anyone else."

"I know," he said. "But that doesn't bring her father back and now she has no parents."

"No, but at least she has a place to go," Kate said. "And she has closure, and no, that doesn't bring her dad back, but trust me, it helps to know why." He nodded but she could see he was still not convinced.

"I just wish there was something I could do for her," Rick said and Kate smiled in spite of the situation. He had such a big heart and she loved him for it.

"You're sweet, Rick," she said, kissing him. "But we did what we needed to do. We caught the killer and that's our job. She has people who will be there for her now. She'll get through it, she'll be okay."

"I don't know how you did it," he said, almost to himself. "I can't even fathom…."

He trailed off and Kate wrapped her arms around him in response. "Let's catch up on some sleep," she said. "You'll feel better in the morning, I promise."

"I can't sleep," he admitted.

Remembering her promise from earlier, she sat up and he looked at her questioningly. "Roll over on your stomach," she instructed.

He obeyed without a word, and Kate realized then just how deeply this case had affected him. She shifted herself so that she had one knee on either side of him and began to slowly work the knots out of his back, feeling the tension leave his muscles. After a few minutes, she felt his breathing slow and when she was sure he was asleep, she slid back under the covers next to him.

"Thanks, Kate," he mumbled, half-asleep, as she scooted closer to him.

"You're welcome," she whispered. "Get some rest, I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Night," he said sleepily.

"Good night," she said, running her hand gently up and down his arm. "I love you."

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Note: I was feeling inspired yesterday so you guys get another chapter already! And I would like to give a special shout out to Vittoria from Italy who was my 200th reviewer! Thank you!_

**Chapter 15 **

Over the next few weeks, life began to acquire a new normal for Rick Castle and Kate Beckett. From lunch at Remi's while pouring over a case file to quiet evenings watching movies or playing games or just talking, it never got old. Castle was finding that there was still so much to learn about Kate and every facet he uncovered only made him love her more. They spent almost every night together any more, with the exception of a couple during an exceptionally frustrating case….sometimes Kate just needed her space. She was opening up to him more every day and he respected her wishes when she did not want to share or wanted to be alone for a while. He also found he was incredibly inspired to write and spent his time away from her finishing the third Nikki Heat book. Only Alexis had seen it so far but he intended to let Kate be the second to read it.

Life was good and they both were as happy as they had ever been, and sometimes it was easy to forget just how easily everything could change.

Their latest case was the most dangerous they had had since the bomb scare. Within a day of the murder, the team found themselves wrapped up in a convoluted drug operation, the victim having been killed for wanting to come clean about his part in it.

By the end of day three, they had tracked down the murderer's other identity and located his second apartment. There had been no signs of a drug operation at any of the other places they had checked out, and at the moment, this was their last resort. Armed with vests and their guns, the four of them cautiously approached the apartment, Ryan and Esposito in front and Castle bringing up the rear.

They assumed their positions outside the door and Esposito kicked it in. "NYPD," they shouted as they entered the apartment.

The living room was empty, so they split up to check the rest of the house. Ryan and Esposito went one direction and Kate and Castle went the other, heading down the hallway to check the bedroom. Kate entered the room with her gun raised, Castle trailing her. After seeing nothing out of ordinary, she moved to check the master bathroom and it was then that Castle saw the movement from the open closet behind her.

"Gun!" he yelled, pulling her down behind the bed before she had a chance to react. The man's shot rang out, the bullet travelling right through where Kate's head had been only a second before.

Ryan and Esposito heard the commotion and came running. "Let me see your hands!"

"Drop the gun!" Their voices rang out in unison as they barreled into the room, guns raised.

There was a tense few seconds as the man continued to point his gun at the detectives. Slowly, Kate untangled herself from Castle and sat up behind the bed, also pointing her gun at the man. Sensing his defeat, he eventually raised his hands in surrender. Ryan and Esposito were on him in an instant, taking the gun and cuffing him as Kate and a very shaky Castle got to their feet.

Once the man was being led away, Kate turned to her partner. "You okay?" she asked, searching him for any signs of injury.

"Physically, yes," he said. "Are you?"

"Yeah," she said. She looked at the wall where the bullet was embedded. It was right at eye level.

Castle followed her gaze. "That was a close one."

"I know," she said with a shudder.

When Kate looked back at him, she could see that he was thinking exactly the same thing that she was. There was always the possibility for danger, and worse, when you were a cop. Partners protected each other, would die for each other. Somewhere deep down in her mind, Kate had always known that she would die to protect Castle, but now that it had happened the other way around, the full force of that reality hit her like a ton of bricks. _What if he had been shot?_ she thought. Kate was not sure she would be able to go on if anything happened to him, especially if it was done to protect her.

As their gazes locked, Castle read in her eyes the same fear that he felt. He had just risked his life again for her. It was nothing new for him; he had done it before and would do so again in a heartbeat. They had both saved each other many times before. But now that they were together, now that their feelings were real and out in the open, he realized that he was terrified. He had never known love could feel like this and now that he had experienced it, he was certain he would not even be able to get out of bed in the mornings if she was not in his life. He had acted completely on instinct to protect her, and this time, he had succeeded. _But what if I can't next time? _he thought. _What if I don't get to her in time?_

Before they realized what was happening, they both completely forgot about their no PDA rule and wrapped each other up in a tight embrace. "It's okay," Kate said softly as she felt Castle trembling against her. "I'm here. We're safe."

"It was so close," he whispered, his voice catching. "What if it had…."

"No," Kate said firmly, loosening her grip enough that she could step back and look him in the eye. "Don't, okay?"

She could tell it took everything he had to let it go, but he did. "Okay," he managed, leaning his forehead against hers. They stood there a moment, taking strength from each other and allowing their racing hearts and erratic breathing to calm.

This was how Ryan and Esposito found the couple when they re-entered the room a few seconds later. "Morefield's being taken to cust…." Ryan trailed off as his eyes landed on Castle and Beckett. "Are we interrupting?"

They jumped away from each other hastily, pushing their fears aside for now. "No," Kate replied, although Castle could tell she was fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Oh-kay," Esposito said in a voice that clearly stated that he was not convinced. "Anything we should know about?"

"Not right now," she said sharply. "Now, you were saying?"

Ryan hesitated for a moment and Esposito elbowed him. "Oh, right, uh, Morefield is with the uniforms, he's being taken into custody now."

"Okay, what about the rest of the house?" Kate asked.

"We found the drugs in the other room," Esposito answered, motioning down the hallway.

"Okay, let's go," she said matter-of-factly, snapping firmly back into detective mode. She knew there was an emotional discussion that needed to be had but first they needed to wrap up this case.

* * *

It was after midnight and Castle and Kate were at the loft, in bed, breathing hard, and relishing in the fact that they were both alive to do so. As Kate finally caught her breath, she rolled over to face him. "What?" he asked seeing her looking at him. "Was that not good enough for you? Do we need a round two?"

Kate laughed. "Oh, no," she panted. "I don't think I can take a round two right now."

"Getting old are we?"

Kate thumped him over the head. "Look who's talking." They both laughed again before settling into silence. "You okay?" she asked as the silence grew. She could tell the events of the day were still bothering him.

"Yeah….no," he admitted. "Today just….that shot, Kate, it was aimed at you. At your head. You could have…." He trailed off with a shudder.

"Rick," she said softly, taking his hand. "I'm a cop. I'm going to get shot at. It's not the first time and it won't be the last."

"I know," he said. "And I would never ask you to give up your job. But if I hadn't been there today…." The rest of that sentence did not need to be said.

"I know, Rick, and thank you," she said. "You have saved my life so many times that I don't even know how to thank you. But you need to be careful too. You can't keep throwing yourself in front of guns for me."

"Well I'm not going to sit back and watch you get shot," Castle said.

"Castle, you have a family to think about," Kate reminded him.

"Kate, sweetheart," he said softly, and her stomach somersaulted at the nickname. "You _are_ family." She looked at him skeptically. "If our positions were reversed, would you do the same?"

"Of course, but I'm a cop," she said. "It's my job."

"Kate," he scolded. "That's not the only reason and you know it."

"Yeah, but…."

"People do crazy things when they're in love," Castle interrupted. "I told you I would do anything for you and I meant it. Honestly, I pulled you out of the way today before I even realized what I was doing," he admitted. "I saw the gun aimed for you and a life without you in it flashed before my eyes and I just reacted. It just happened." He blinked his eyes, fighting back tears, and Kate reached out and caressed his cheek. "I just….I don't know what I would do without you, Kate."

"Castle, if you got hurt saving me, I would never forgive myself," she said.

"And if you got hurt and I wasn't there to at least try to protect you, I would never forgive myself," he responded. "So I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. We keep each other safe, that's what partners are for."

"But Rick," she protested. "It's not your job to risk your life for me."

"Maybe not, but I'm still going to," he said firmly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"But what…."

"Kate," he rolled onto his back, pulled her on top of him, and kissed her deeply, pouring all of his love for her into the gesture. When they separated, he looked her right in the eyes. "I want to experience that for the rest of my life. With you," he said, and the emotion in his eyes made Kate's breath catch in her throat as tears invaded her eyes. "I would risk my life every day if necessary to make sure that I can."

Kate knew that there was nothing she could do to convince him, so she gave in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "So would I."

Their lips met again, tasting what could have been lost and celebrating that they were both here, alive, and able to share their love with each other for another day.

* * *

A few hours later, Rick awoke with a start. He sat up and looked around, trying to find his bearings. It was dark and he was disoriented, covered in sweat, and completely confused. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that he was in his bed. He squinted at the clock and saw that it was just after three a.m.. He felt movement next to him and turned his head in time to see Kate sitting up next to him. At the sight of her, the dream he had been having suddenly came flooding back and a sob escaped him.

Kate was shocked. Rick Castle did not cry. She had seen him tear up before but she had never seen him actually cry. "Rick?" she asked softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

"You….I…." he stammered, and Kate suddenly realized what was going on. She had suffered through her fair share of nightmares after her mother's murder and she knew how terrifying and consuming they could be.

"Rick, it's okay," she said, using her finger to lift his chin. "It was a dream. I'm here, you're here, we're both okay."

He blinked his eyes in shock. "How did you know?"

"I've been there," she answered simply. She reached out and cupped his face. "Take a deep breath, okay. Look at me, I'm right here, we're both very much alive."

He reached out and covered her hands with his own. "It was so real," he said, choking back another sob.

"Tell me about it," Kate encouraged. "I promise, it's easier if you talk about it."

"You…." He took a deep breath and tried again. "We were in Morefield's apartment. I didn't pull you down in time and…." She heard his sharp intake of breath and ran her thumbs gently across his cheeks in encouragement. "I was too late," he added quietly. "He got you, Kate, and it was my fault. I promised you I would always be there and I wasn't."

"Hey, hey," she said softly. "It wasn't your fault, okay. It was a dream, it wasn't real. You were there today, in real life, remember, just like you promised? You saved me and he's locked up, he can't get me again."

"I know," he said. "I know, but it was just so real. I saw you die, Kate."

His pain was bringing tears to Kate's eyes as well, and she did the only thing she could think of. She slid her arms around her neck and pulled him as close as possible. He hugged her back, hearing her calm breathing and finally felt himself begin to relax. After a few minutes, Kate layed back down, sliding under the covers and pulling him with her. As she tucked the blankets around them, he pulled her on top of him again, hugging her tightly.

She planted a kiss on his chest. "You feeling better?" she asked.

He ran his hands up and down her back. "Yeah," he replied.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah," he said again. She started to roll off of him, intending to snuggle against his side, but he held her in place. "Stay," he said quickly.

"Okay." She rested her head on his chest, sprawling out on top of him, and he rested his chin against the top of her head. She could hear that his heart rate had slowed and she felt him relaxing with every breath as he slowly drifted back to sleep.

With Kate laying on top of him, Castle found it much easier than expected to fall asleep again. Her presence was always very comforting, but having her there, her body covering all of him, was a constant reminder that she was still alive and it pushed the memories of the nightmare from his head.

Once Kate was sure he was asleep, she allowed herself to relax, hoping that he could sleep the rest of the night without any more nightmares. She had spent nearly a year after her mother's death battling them and being too terrified to sleep, and she had no desire to see him experience the same thing. Hers still came back occasionally, usually only on the anniversary of her mother's death, but the memory of them and the images from them would forever be ingrained in her mind. As a cop, she had also occasionally had nightmares about other cases, but Castle was not a cop. That nightmare was just another example of the burdens that he had taken on for her, because he loved her, and she could not help but feel responsible for what he was going through. She knew he would argue that it was not her fault, but that would just be another thing they would have to agree to disagree on.

Pushing those thoughts away, she focused on the man beneath her, on the steady rise and fall of his chest and the strong beat of his heart beneath her ear. Close encounters always made her think, and the fact that Castle had been involved in this one gave her even more to think about. She knew she loved him, had admitted it about a month ago, but this was the first real danger they had been in since then, and it was so much different now. The thought of a life without him was too much to bear and she felt a tear run down her cheek. His breathing reminded her that he was alive and well, that they had survived, but she still could not shake the feeling that the next time they might not be so lucky.

_You can't think like that, Kate,_ she scolded herself, recalling that she had stopped Castle from going there earlier. _You have to believe in the future, believe that you two will be there together._ Believing in a happy ending had always been hard for her but she knew, for Castle's sake and her own, that this time she needed to have that faith. They were partners and they loved each other and there was nothing in the world that could ever take that from them.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's note: This chapter is a bit shorter than most of the others but to be honest, I didn't really know where else to go with it, so I decided to just leave it like this. But don't worry, there's more coming...I already have the next 2 chapters mostly written so I'll try to update again in the next couple of days! _

* * *

**Chapter 16**

By the time Friday rolled around, the team at the Twelfth had never been so happy to see the day arrive. After Beckett's near-death experience and the toll of trying to weasel a confession out of Morefield and track down his partners, all of them were mentally and emotionally exhausted.

The day had been slow so far, with no new cases, and it was Esposito's birthday, so the afternoon was spent devouring enormous quantities of pizza, relaxing, and laughing so hard their sides hurt. When five o'clock rolled around, Castle suggested they head over to the Old Haunt for a couple rounds of celebratory drinks and everyone agreed easily. Esposito invited Lanie along and Jenny even promised to meet them there. Ryan and Esposito headed out of the precinct to hail a cab with Castle and Beckett promising to meet them at the bar shortly.

After Kate shut down her computer and straightened up her desk, the two exited the precinct, completely unaware of the fact that Ryan and Esposito were sitting in a cab at a stop light at the end of the block, still with a fairly unobstructed view of the precinct, watching with interest as Castle and Kate exited the building. As soon as they were out of the view of the doors, Castle slung an arm around Kate's shoulders and planted a kiss on her cheek. She smiled up at him and gave him a quick peck as they headed to the curb to catch a cab.

"Dude, tell me you saw that!" Ryan exclaimed, not taking his eyes off the couple.

"I definitely did, bro," Esposito replied, his mouth hanging open in shock. Only once the pair had disappeared into a cab did the partners finally turn to look at each other, a plan forming in their minds. "They are not leaving tonight without coming clean," Esposito stated. "I don't care if we have to get them completely drunk, I wanna know what's going on."

"You should get Lanie to help us," Ryan suggested. "She's got to know something."

"No way, bro, she would have told me," Esposito pointed out. Ryan was not so sure but decided to keep his mouth shut. "Either way, we're gonna figure this out."

* * *

An hour later, all six of them were sitting around a table drinking beers, sharing an assortment of appetizers, and singing a not-so-good rendition of _Happy Birthday_ to Esposito. After the song finished, Castle headed to the bar to get another round of drinks and Kate went with him. With both of them gone from the table, Ryan and Esposito immediately jumped into action.

"Okay, what's going on with those two?" they asked Lanie.

"Who?" she asked in mock confusion. "You mean Castle and Beckett?"

"Yeah, I know they're hiding something. It's been obvious for a while now and when they left the precinct today we saw them _kiss_!" Ryan explained.

"Well that's news to me," Lanie said, employing her best poker face. "I can't say I've noticed anything different, but they always seem to act all couple-y."

"No, something's definitely different," said Esposito. "I mean, they _kissed._ Beckett doesn't just kiss people like that."

"I don't know," Lanie said. "Why don't you ask them?"

"Dude, they arrived at the last crime scene in the same car earlier this week and denied that anything was going on," Ryan said. "You really think they're going to give us an honest answer?"

"With enough alcohol, maybe they will," Lanie said with a mischievous smile.

"That's my girl." Esposito leaned in to kiss her and were too engrossed with each other to notice that Castle and Kate had returned.

"Ummm, are we interrupting something?" Castle asked and Esposito and Lanie flew apart.

"Uh, no," Esposito said, without missing a beat. "But speaking of interrupting things, what was _really_ happening between you two in Morefield's apartment?"

Kate knew exactly to what they were referring and she knew they were not going to believe anything except the truth but she tried anyway. "Castle was just making sure I was okay," she said and was met with four skeptical expressions. "I mean, I had just been shot at."

"And that 'making sure you were okay' involved hugging and leaning your foreheads together?" Ryan asked sarcastically and Lanie turned to look at Kate in surprise.

"We just…." Castle trailed off.

"How about when you left the precinct today?" Esposito added. "What was going on then?"

Kate thought back, remembering how Castle had put an arm around her and she had given him a quick kiss. "You _saw_ that?" she asked in surprise. Ryan and Esposito just smiled.

Kate knew everyone had figured them out and there was no way they were going to talk their way out of this one. However, she trusted Ryan and Esposito and figured that they deserved to know the truth, even if she did have to endure daily teasing for the next….who knows how long. She glanced at Castle, who had been having similar thoughts, and they silently agreed that they should just be honest.

"Okay, fine," Kate said after a moment. "What do you want to know?"

"What's going on between you two, obviously," Esposito answered.

"You saw us leave the precinct, isn't that enough of an answer?" she asked.

"No way," Ryan said. "We want to hear it from you."

Kate caught Lanie's eye and her friend was giving her a look that quite plainly said 'just tell them.' She took a deep breath, preparing herself for whatever reactions her admission was going to receive. "Fine, we're together," she admitted, unable to hide her smile.

"Seriously?" Ryan and Esposito exclaimed in unison, hardly able to believe that she had admitted it but also happy that those two had finally realized what was right in front of them.

Castle wrapped his arms around Kate's shoulders and pulled her to him. "Seriously," he said, a grin spreading across his face.

"Finally," Ryan said.

"I knew it!" Esposito exclaimed.

"Congrats!" Jenny added.

Kate leaned into Castle's side and lifted her head, smiling at him. As if to punctuate their declaration, he squeezed her tighter and leaned down to press his lips gently to hers. Everyone else at the table watched silently, mouths hanging open as the pair kissed and then gazed lovingly into each other's eyes for a moment before remembering that they had an audience.

"What?" Kate said as she registered the looks of shock on everyone's faces.

Ryan shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. "I'm just glad you two finally saw the light."

"Exactly how long ago this happen?" Esposito asked curiously.

"A couple months," Castle answered. "Maybe a little more."

"And you guys didn't tell us?" Ryan said, feigning hurt.

"Not that we hadn't figured it out," Esposito added.

"I'm sorry, how long were you and Lanie together before any of us found out?" Kate asked jokingly.

"That's different, we were…." Esposito trailed off as he looked at his girlfriend. "Wait a second, why aren't you squealing with excitement right now or something?"

"I…."

"You knew, didn't you!" he exclaimed. "You knew and you didn't tell me!"

"I promised Kate I wouldn't tell anyone."

"But…."

"No, Javi," Lanie said firmly. "She's my best friend. A promise is a promise."

He looked at her and nodded understandingly. "All right, that's fine, but what I wanna know is why _you guys_ didn't say anything? I mean, you show up at the precinct together, you go out to lunch together…."

"Don't forget that fight at the precinct," Ryan added and Kate and Castle cringed at the memory.

Esposito continued. "You arrive at a crime scene first thing in the morning in the same car….we're detectives, you thought we wouldn't notice?"

"We just…." Kate started, but stopped, not really knowing what to say. She could tell the guys really were just teasing but she also wanted to give them an honest answer.

"We wanted it to stay between us," Castle said truthfully. "We're trying to keep this private and we figure the fewer people that know, the better. Other than you guys, we've only told our families, and we'd like it to stay this way."

"Fair enough," Ryan said. "But be warned, you guys _will_ pay for keeping a secret from us."

"And denying it so many times," Esposito added jokingly. They all laughed and gradually the conversation switched topics, but everyone still kept stealing glances at the couple. Now that they were not keeping it secret, the shift in their interactions was not lost on anyone. Castle's arm was no longer around Kate's shoulder but they were sitting close enough that their sides were smashed together and they would occasionally touch each other's arm flirtatiously or lean against each other. Lanie even caught Kate stealing a kiss when she thought no one was looking. They were smiling and laughing and completely at ease and while it was not a side of Kate that they often saw, everyone was glad to see her so carefree and happy.

It was after one when the group finally headed off in their various directions. While the ladies said their good-byes, Esposito and Ryan pulled Castle aside. "We're happy for you, bro," Esposito said. "But just know that if you hurt her, we'll kill you and no one will ever find your body."

Castle held up his hands. "Guys, I'm not going to hurt her," he said earnestly. "I love her."

"Just making sure we're on the same page," Ryan said, giving him a solid pat on the back. "Really, though, congrats."

Castle smiled as the three ladies approached them. "Thanks." The other two couples hailed cabs to head home for the night, leaving Castle and Kate standing on the sidewalk in front of the bar. "Want to head home?" he asked, not wanting to make any assumptions.

"Sure, my place is close enough we can probably just walk there," she suggested. "Or do you need to be home tonight?"

"I texted Alexis earlier and she knows I might not be back tonight," he replied.

"My place it is," Kate said, taking his hand and tugging him towards her.

"Lead the way," Castle said as he caught up to her. He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him and she wrapped her arm around his waist. They stayed this way for the entire walk, talking about random things and enjoying the cool night air and the sights and sounds of the city.

"So how do you feel now that the guys know about us?" Castle asked as they entered her building.

"They deserved to know," she responded. "I mean, they're practically family. Which of course means that they're going to be teasing us relentlessly for the next hundred years."

Castle laughed. "Like they didn't tease us already," he said. "But seriously, I'm glad they know too. Although it was kind of fun to watch them try to figure it out."

Kate laughed at the memories. "I think we were busted from the time we showed up at the precinct together that evening."

Castle thought back over the teasing they had endured that night. "Probably," he agreed as they entered her apartment.

Kate yawned as she slipped off her shoes and tossed her jacket onto the couch. "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted," she admitted.

"Me too," Castle said. "It's been a long week. I can't believe that we just solved that case a couple days ago. It feels like it was weeks ago." He had only had one more nightmare and that was on the night that Kate was not with him, but even with her there he had not slept well in a few days and he could tell she had not either.

Kate nodded. She knew the feeling. "Well the good news is we can sleep in tomorrow." She glanced over her shoulder at him as she headed down the hallway to her bedroom. "Care to join me?"

Castle hurried after her, a sudden idea crossing his mind, and he snagged her around the waist and pulled her back into his chest. "You know," he said huskily, and she could feel his breath on her neck, "if we can sleep in tomorrow, I guess that means we don't have to fall asleep right now, doesn't it?"

"Or maybe," she said in a sultry voice, "we could go to sleep now and wake up a little earlier so that we can spend _all day_ together." She knew her teasing had been successful when she felt his grip around her waist loosen and she took advantage of it, breaking out of his grasp and running to her room.

Once Castle regained his bearings he took off after her, catching her just inside the bedroom and tackling her onto the bed. "You are _such_ a tease," he said as she wriggled beneath him, trying to escape. "And you know what? Just for that, I think we're going to have to compromise and follow _both _of our suggestions."

"Hmmm, I don't know, Rick, are you sure you can handle it?" she asked as she trailed a hand down his chest.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked, cupping her face in his hands. "Because you know I can never back down from one of those." And without giving her a chance to answer, he claimed her lips in a passionate kiss that pushed all thoughts of sleep completely out of their minds.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's Note: Okay, I lied, this chapter isn't longer than the last one. However, I feel like this mini plot line deserves a chapter of its own. And on a completely unrelated note, how cute was the ending of this week's episode? It was -almost- enough to get me though until the next new episode._

* * *

**Chapter 17 **

They did eventually get out of bed the next day although not until almost three o'clock, and only then because food became a necessity. They had had quite a workout in the past few hours without ever leaving the bedroom and although they could now add physical exhaustion to the list, emotionally they both felt much more alive.

After breakfast-or an afternoon snack by this point-they opted not to go back to bed, although neither was ready to break their physical connection just yet. The events of the week were still somewhat present and they needed that constant touch as a reminder; since last night, they had been separate long enough only to go to the bathroom.

Instead, they settled on taking a hot and steamy shower-in more ways than one-and then headed to the loft where they curled up on the couch for a _Temptation Lane_ marathon, at Kate's suggestion. Castle was more than happy to oblige, enjoying the opportunity to see yet another side of her. After a few hours they took a short break to make a quick pasta dinner and then reclaimed their seats on the couch to watch a few more episodes.

It was the most relaxing day Kate had had in years and for that she was thankful. Not only had this week taken a toll on both of them, both personally and professionally, but tomorrow was going to be even more emotionally draining. Castle seemed to have picked up on that as he was hyper-aware of her every movement and facial expression and was responding accordingly without her saying a word. Sometimes is scared her just how well he could read her, but at times like this, she loved that he was sensitive enough to figure out exactly what she needed.

It was almost midnight when Kate finally untangled herself from Castle and sat up. "You tired?" he asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Exhausted," she replied.

"Would you like to stay tonight?" Although they spent most nights together, he knew tonight was different and did not want to make any assumptions.

Kate reached out and cupped his cheek. "I need to go home tonight, Rick," she said.

"Okay," he said, and she was surprised that he did not put up more of a fight. "But will you come back for breakfast? I'm cooking and my mother would love it if you could join us."

Kate was touched. She loved being around his family and was glad the feeling was mutual. However, tomorrow she needed to be with her own family. "I can't, Rick," she said softly. "I'm sorry but I….I have plans tomorrow."

Castle immediately realized what she meant and wanted to kick himself for even asking her. "I'm so sorry Kate, I didn't think that through at all."

"It's okay," she said quickly.

He shook his head as if still admonishing himself. "Do you want company?"

"No," she said softly, shaking her head. "My dad and I always spend Mother's Day together, in honor of her, you know. I'm just….I'm not ready to share this yet, okay?"

Castle nodded in understanding. "Alright," he said quietly. "I understand. But if you need anything, at any time, I'm here."

"I know, Rick, and that means so much to me."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. This one was much different from the heated and passionate kisses that completely consumed them. Castle kept the kisses soft and gentle and full of love and promise. This was not about physical intimacy; this was about letting Kate know that he was here for her whenever she needed him and that he would help her however he could.

When they broke apart, Castle pulled her onto his lap and cradled her to his chest. He wrapped one hand around her waist and the other around her shoulders, reaching up to toy with her curls. Kate relaxed into him, breathing in his scent. She felt so loved when he held her like this. It was as though nothing in the world mattered except for her.

Eventually, however, she sat up straight and met his eyes. "I need to go," she whispered.

He helped her stand and then followed suit as she headed to the door. He joined her as she was zipping her jacket and met her gaze with one so intense that she almost looked away. It was one of those times where she felt like he was looking straight into her soul and she felt naked, but for the first time ever, it did not scare her. She knew Castle was not trying to weasel information out of her at the moment; he was merely trying to make sure that she really was okay and she was touched by his concern.

"I'll be okay," she said, letting out a small laugh when she saw the shock cross his face. He was not the only one with mind-reading abilities. "Really, I will."

Castle was unconvinced but did not let it show. "Alright," he said. "If you need anything, just…."

"Call you, I know," Kate interrupted.

"Yes," he said. "Or just come over. You're always welcome, you don't even need to call first."

She picked up her purse as she spoke. "Thanks, Rick," she said, leaning in to give him one last kiss.

"Always."

"Good night," she managed pass the lump in her throat. Before Castle, she had never known that one word could have so much meaning. Now, that word would never be the same again. Every time she heard it spoken by anyone, she thought of him. And anytime he said it to her, her heart skipped a beat.

"Good night, Kate," he said softly.

* * *

It was after ten the following evening when Castle heard a knock on his door. He put aside the book he was reading and stood up, knowing exactly who was at the door. "Hey," he said gently, stepping aside and letting her into the apartment.

"Hey." Her voice was softer than normal, she was dressed in sweats, and he could tell she was fighting her emotions.

"What can I do?" he asked immediately, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Just….stay with me," Kate answered. Castle did not know if she meant stay for now or stay with her all night but now was not the time to bother with details. Instead he picked her up, carried her to his bedroom and set her on his bed. He gently removed her shoes and jacket before joining her. Once he was settled with his back against the headboard, he pulled her to him, melding her into his lap as he had done the previous evening. She snuggled into him, taking strength from his embrace as she tried to reign in her emotions. They had been running wild all day, and she had been fighting back tears for hours.

When Castle felt her begin to relax, he broke the silence. "I never met your mother," he began softly, "but speaking as a parent, if she saw what you have become, I know that she would be incredibly proud." With his comment, the emotions that Kate had been holding back spilled over and Castle could feel as the sobs wracked her body. "Kate, I'm so sorry…." he began.

She looked up and cut him off. "It's okay," she choked through her tears. "I'm not upset, I'm….you have no idea how much that means to me….what you just said," she managed. "There are so many things in my life that she never got to see….I never got to know what she would say." Kate shook her head sadly.

Castle reached out to stroke her cheek. "I wish that there was something I could do to take that pain away from you," he said honestly. "But it's a part of what makes you who you are. And I promise you that by doing what you do, every day, you honor your mother in every way possible. By carrying the pain of losing her, she lives on in you."

At this, a fresh wave of tears flowed from her eyes, but these were tears of….Kate did not even know what they were tears of. Castle's words and the raw emotion in his voice when he spoke them had made her feel better than any therapy ever had. She had become a cop to solve her mother's case, to bring her justice, and even though she was closer now than ever before, there was a part of her that still felt like she was letting her mother down by not being able to find the man who ordered the hit. But after hearing what he said, that she honors her mother every day, she suddenly felt an enormous weight lift off of her.

Kate buried her face in Castle's chest once again, letting the tears flow freely but also relishing the new feeling that was overtaking her. Mother's Day was always an emotional day for her, but right here, right now, sitting in Castle's lap and wrapped in his arms, she let herself go completely. She was rarely this open with anyone, but she felt so safe and secure and it was almost as though he had wrapped her up in his arms because he had known that she needed to let it out. She had no idea how she would ever thank him for this.

After a few minutes, Kate had calmed down enough that she could actually see through her eyes. When she looked up at him he gently wiped the tears off her cheeks before kissing each of them gently. "You look like you could use some sleep," he suggested.

Kate nodded. "Yeah." Before she had a chance to say anything more, he pulled back the covers and slid under them, patting the space next to him. Sluggishly she scooted forward to join him. He tucked the covers snugly around both of them before settling down next to Kate and hugging her to him.

As Kate snuggled into him, Castle realized that he loved her the most when she was like this. Not when she was hurting, but when she would open up completely and let herself be vulnerable. He loved that she was fiercely independent but it was nice to feel needed every once in a while. It was happening more often the longer they were together and he was starting to live for times like these. In all honesty, he had never been much of a cuddler before he met Kate. Maybe that was because it showed a certain level of intimacy that he never really craved. But now that he had her, he could never get enough of the feeling.

"Thank you, Rick," she broke the silence first. "What you did for me tonight….no one has ever done anything like that for me. I….I don't even know what to say. You're so amazing and sweet and caring and I don't even know how to begin to thank you. I love you so much."

"You don't have to thank me," he said sincerely. "I would do anything for you."

Of all the times she had been told that by various people, this was the first time she truly believed it. She knew Castle would do absolutely anything for her. Hell, he had risked his life multiple times to save her, and she knew he would do so again in a heartbeat if she was in danger. Kate was speechless once more but managed a soft "good night" as she snuggled next to him, her head buried in his chest. He tightened his embrace and she felt fresh tears fill her eyes as she realized he knew, once again, exactly what she needed. Times like this, when she was upset, she would burrow into Castle's chest so that she was completely surrounded by him when he hugged her, and it made her feel completely safe. She had never told him that, but as she felt him plant a kiss in her hair, she knew that he had figured it out, just like he had figured out everything else about her. He rested his chin against the top of her head and she felt her eyes drift closed as he whispered his own, half-asleep "good night."

And for the first time since Johanna Beckett's death, Kate slept through the night on Mother's Day without having any nightmares.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	18. Chapter 18

_Author's Note: So it was pointed out to me (thanks Ariel119) that this story has been posted on the Castle TV facebook page, so thank you so much to whoever has been posting it there! I've been completely blown away by the amount of support I have gotten, so thank you to everyone who has read/alerted/reviewed this! And now, enjoy!_

**Chapter 18 **

This year, when Memorial Day rolled around, Castle once again invited Kate to the Hamptons for the weekend with him and Martha, Alexis, and Ashley. And this year, she had accepted his offer eagerly.

When the news that she was going with him had somehow surfaced at the precinct, a lot of money had suddenly begun flying around. Neither she nor Castle had realized just how many bets had been placed about them. Rumors had been flying around about them for a long time, probably since he had first started shadowing her, but lately they had been a lot more prevalent. Initially, Kate had been annoyed by them. After a while, it had been easier to just ignore them. The people who really mattered knew that she was not a conquest sort of girl and that was all she really cared about.

Castle had no trouble ignoring the rumors. He had lived his life in the spotlight for years, especially when it came to romance, and he was pretty used to being linked to any woman he was seen with. So when people asked him about Beckett, he simply dismissed them with a non-answer. But lately, Castle had been different. Suddenly having a widely publicized fight with a woman or being named one of New York's Most-Eligible Bachelors did not seem important to him. He had Kate and they had their privacy, and that was all that he could have asked for. At some point, someone had posted a picture online of them walking arm in arm down the sidewalk, but anything that was said about it was purely speculation. He had not publicly admitted to dating her. He had not even confirmed their relationship to his agent or publicist. Aside from their families and Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, and Montgomery, nobody really knew about them, and they were both completely fine with that. Until hundreds of dollars began changing hands at the precinct.

They were at the loft that evening, finalizing plans for the three-day weekend. Alexis and Martha had excused themselves for the night, leaving Castle and Kate in the living room. He could tell something was bothering her, but he could not pinpoint what it was. Putting down the to-do list they had made, he scooted closer to her.

"Kate, what's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing." She did not meet his eyes.

"Kate, I know you're lying. Something's been bugging you lately. What is it?"

Sometimes she wished he could not read her so well. "Did you realize that the whole precinct was betting about when we'd get together?" she asked.

"No," he replied honestly. "I knew there were rumors, that there always had been. I knew Ryan and Esposito and Montgomery and Lanie had a pool going. But I didn't think everybody else cared." He recalled their conversation a while back. "I thought we already talked about this and agreed to just ignore the rumors."

"I know, we did," Kate said. "And I didn't care about the rumors, because that's all they were. But now a whole bunch of people know for sure. And the more people that know, the more likely it is to be publicized."

Castle almost looked hurt. "Kate, I…."

"I'm not ashamed," she interrupted, having read the look in his eyes. "I'm not at all ashamed or embarrassed to be with you. But you live in the eyes of the media. I don't. I appreciate how hard you've been trying to stay away from it. But I just don't want my life to be so public. Not any more than it already is with Nikki Heat."

"It doesn't have to be," Castle said. "I know you don't want it, and to be honest, I don't either. I'm enjoying the privacy we have. I love that we can go places without being followed. Sure, people are going to speculate. Pictures of us might surface. We work together, we're bound to be seen together. But all I have to do is deny it. Then everything stays purely speculative. I don't like the rumors any more than you do, but they're always going to be there. I know you hate it, but it's a part of my life."

"I know," she said. "And I wish it wasn't, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"No, there's really not," he agreed, wishing he could say something more comforting. "It's going to get out someday, but I intend to keep this private as long as we can. And we'll keep ignoring the rumors just like we have been since I started shadowing you. I don't mind lying to the press about us. Or to people at the precinct. I am never going to force you into the spotlight as my girlfriend." He paused, smiling at his statement. They had been together for three months now, but he still loved the sound of calling her his girlfriend. He took her face in his hands and looked her straight in the eye. "I love you, Kate, more than anything, and no rumor or media stint is ever going to change that."

"I know," she said again. She leaned in to kiss him. "I love you too."

He smiled and started to stand. "Now come on. Enough worrying. It's late. Let's go to bed."

She allowed him to pull her up and lead her into his room. She had been spending more nights at the loft lately, and while she was initially uncomfortable with the idea, mainly because of Alexis, she now looked forward to it. The first morning that Kate came downstairs in Castle's pajama bottoms, things had been awkward, but since then neither Alexis nor Martha had found it out of the ordinary to have her there in the mornings. However, she still insisted on going home to get ready for work so that they did not show up at the precinct together.

She was lost in thought when Castle shut the bedroom door and turned to her. "Kate?"

She snapped out of her reverie. "Huh?"

"Everything is going to be fine," he assured her. "Nothing is going to change between us, ever, no matter who knows what about us."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was just…." She left the sentence hanging, unsure of what she had actually been about to say.

"Come on, we have a lot to do tomorrow so we can finish our case before we leave. Let's get some sleep." Castle stripped down into his boxers and t-shirt while Kate changed into her pair of pajamas that had become a permanent fixture in the loft.

They snuggled in to bed and as Castle reached up to turn off the lamp, he felt movement next to him. He turned to find Kate scooted right up against him. She knew he was feeling insecure and afraid that she might run. She knew that he needed assurance that she was still committed despite her dislike for the media. And she needed to prove to herself that the press potentially finding out that she was going to the Hamptons with Rick Castle was not going to change anything between them. She leaned in so their lips were almost touching before whispering, "I think sleep can wait a little bit longer, don't you?"

Castle answered by closing the remaining distance between them and giving her a passionate kiss. "Yes," he breathed when they finally separated. "I think it can."

* * *

The drive to the Hamptons on Friday morning was very upbeat. With Martha, Alexis and Ashley in the back seat, Kate and Rick in the front, and the back end packed full of luggage, it felt very much like a family vacation. As they talked and laughed, it was not lost on Kate how well she fit in with his family. It was like they had been doing this for years.

When they were not laughing their heads off, Kate was enjoying relaxing in the passenger seat. It was not often that she went anywhere without being the driver and as much as she liked to be in control, she was finding that she enjoyed the times when Castle took charge.

When they finally arrived at the beach house, Kate stepped out of the car and looked around in awe. It was much larger than the loft and the setting was absolutely gorgeous. The entire façade of the house was wooden. There was a porch across the front, looking out over the ocean, and off to both sides she could see only trees.

"You like?" Castle asked, coming up behind her.

"It's….wow," Kate managed. She could not even comprehend having enough money to afford a place like this.

"Let's unpack the car and I'll give you the full tour," he offered. She nodded and headed around to the back of the car. Fifteen minutes later, the car was unloaded and they were semi-settled. Martha, Alexis and Ashley retreated to their respective bedrooms to unpack and Rick led Kate to the master bedroom. It was in the back corner of the house with a door to a private balcony, containing a hot tub and beach chairs. She walked out on to the porch and looked around. The house was situated right where the forest met the beach, so there were trees surrounding the sides and back of the house. It was a very secluded location. Off to one side, Kate saw the bonfire pit Castle had mentioned last year. Looking off in the other direction, she caught sight of a hammock gently swaying in the breeze.

She sighed happily as she felt Castle's arms wrap around her from behind. "So what do you think?" he asked.

"It's lovely," Kate responded. She leaned back against him, thinking about how much fun this weekend was going to be. It had been a long time since she had been on a vacation like this.

"I'm glad you like it," he said sincerely. They just stood there for a moment, relaxing into each other, before Castle broke the silence. "Let's get settled in and we'll go eat some lunch."

* * *

Half an hour later, the five of them were sitting on a blanket on the beach eating sandwiches, chips, and a variety of fruit. Kate was already thoroughly enjoying herself. Castle looked at her and smiled. She was wearing shorts and a tank top and was relaxed and completely comfortable. He loved how well she fit in with his family. Then again, she always had. But as she sat there with Ashley and Alexis, all three of them tossing blueberries into the air and catching them in their mouths, he could not help but imagine many more family vacations to the Hamptons….family vacations that included her.

When they had all had their fill, they cleaned up and headed their separate ways for the afternoon. Alexis and Ashley headed down to the beach to enjoy the sunshine. Martha retreated to her room to take, as she liked to put it, a dramatic pause. Castle, on the other hand, convinced Kate to go exploring and the two of them headed off into the woods.

"Rick, where are we going?" Kate asked after a couple minutes.

"I told you, we're going exploring," he answered. "And I thought we could collect some firewood for tomorrow night.

"So basically you're going to use your scouting skills that you don't have," she teased.

"Hey now," he exclaimed, shoving her gently. "We're not going to get lost. And I'll have you know, I am a master bonfirer."

"Bonfirer?" Kate questioned. "Aren't you supposed to be a writer? Because I'm pretty sure that's not a word."

"Oh, I am a writer," he responded. "And remind me to prove that to you later."

"Oh yeah? Just how do you plan to do that?"

"Patience, my dear," he said.

They spent two hours exploring, Castle taking her to all the neat little areas he and Alexis had discovered over the years. Finally, they made their way back, gathering as much wood as they could carry. Castle even ended up using his feet to roll a rather large log back, only tripping himself once in the process.

After piling the wood by the fire pit, Castle instructed Kate to wait for him as he jogged inside excitedly. He emerged shortly carrying a blanket in one hand-Kate had a feeling there was something hidden underneath it-and two bottles of water in the other. He handed her the bottles and took her arm in his, leading her to the hammock. Setting the water down, Kate climbed in, Castle settling next to her. The late spring air was warm but the hammock was shaded just enough that they tossed the blanket over their legs for extra warmth.

Castle leaned over and kissed her gently and she smiled in response before asking him, "So what was under the blanket?"

"What?"

"There was something else in your hand. What was it?" she asked.

"How did you know?" he asked with a shocked look on his face.

"Rick, you forget that I'm a detective," she said.

"And a damn good one." He kissed her again before answering. "I told you I'd prove that I'm a writer." He reached under his stomach for the concealed object and produced a paperback book.

"The new one?" she asked.

"_Heat Rises,"_ he answered, handing it to her. "Aside from Alexis and my editors, you're the first one to see it."

"Thank you," she said happily. "So what, you're going to read it to me?"

"No, you're going to read it to yourself and I'm going to follow along," he answered. "And just hang out with you."

They were both lying on their stomachs, so he wrapped an arm around her back and she snuggled close to him before opening the book. Chapter one started on the second page and Castle did not miss the look that crossed her face when she realized there was no dedication.

"You'll see it soon," he said softly. "It's only in the published copies."

"How did you….?"

"Because I know you, Kate," he answered. He leaned over and kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear, "Don't worry, it will be worth the wait." He had known since the night they closed Raglan's case what his next dedication would say. He wanted to keep it a secret for now, but it was already written on his laptop. _To KB, always._

"Okay," she replied softly. She could tell by the look in his eyes that this dedication was going to mean more than either of the other ones now that they were together. As she returned her eyes to the page, a sudden thought occurred to her. "Wait, Rick," she said suddenly, looking at him again. "How much of this is based off of…."

"Kate," he cut her off, looking her straight in the eye. "Some things aren't meant to be shared."

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing him softly. She turned back to the book once again and began reading. Castle rested his chin on her shoulder, reading along with her for a while before laying his head down on the hammock and snuggling as close to her as he could. Kate was so engrossed in the book that she did not even realize that he had drifted off to sleep.

Two hours later, Kate was about half-way through the book when she heard footsteps. She looked up to find Ashley and Alexis approaching, dressed in swim suits and towels and eating popsicles.

"Hey, guys," she said as they neared.

"Hey," Alexis replied. "What are you guys doing?"

Kate held up the book. "Reading. And this one's taking the world's longest nap," she teased, nodding her head in Castle's direction.

"Does he realize he's basically smelling your armpit?" Alexis asked as her father raised his head sleepily.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking around. His eyes settled on the two teenagers. "Raided the freezer already I see," he teased.

"You know you would have been disappointed if we hadn't," Alexis replied jokingly. "But actually, Ash and I were thinking it was time for dinner."

Castle reached out and took hold of Kate's wrist, tilting his head to read her watch. "Yeah, I guess you're right, huh? Do you guys want to help?"

Alexis looked to Ashley, who nodded. "Sure," she replied. Kate bookmarked her spot and climbed out of the hammock and the four of them headed inside.


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Note: Wow, it's been over a week since I've posted. I'm sorry to leave you guys hanging-midterms took over my life last week and I didn't have a chance to do any writing. But now I am back with one of my longest chapters yet so I hope it was worth the wait. A special shout-out to corlando who was my 300__th__ reviewer! I can't even believe that, so thank you to all of you! Also, as a quick note, I've never been to New York or the Hamptons (I'm from the west) so I'm just assuming that the weather is nice in May and that his house is located near both the beach and the woods. If it's completely unrealistic, I apologize. With that being said, here is part two of the adventures in the Hamptons! _

**Chapter 19**

After a dinner of spaghetti-huge amounts of spaghetti-the five of them headed back outside to enjoy the beautiful evening. The sky was clear and the sun was sinking low on the horizon but there was still enough warmth in the air that they did not need jackets. After a few rounds of poker (in which they played for gummy bears), they all headed their separate directions to enjoy what was left of the day. Martha settled in with a book and Kate headed down to the water's edge while Castle went inside with Alexis and Ashley to dig out his second set of laser tag gear.

When he emerged from the house he looked around, trying to find Kate. When he did, he stopped in his tracks. She was standing bare-foot on the beach with her toes in the water and her hair blowing in the breeze. She looked absolutely beautiful and Castle once again found himself wondering how he had gotten so lucky.

He kicked off his shoes and quietly approached her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "Hey," he whispered, planting a kiss in her hair.

"Hey yourself," she said, relaxing into him. "I was starting to think you got lost on your way out here."

"No, you just looked so peaceful and I didn't want to interrupt you."

"And yet here you are anyways," she teased.

Castle laughed. "Yes, well you know I can't stay away from you for long."

Kate laughed before changing the subject. "It's so calming," she said. "I can see why you like it out here."

"There's something about looking out over the ocean, you know?" he said. "It makes you feel so small and insignificant. It's always been my escape when life got crazy or some ridiculous tabloid story showed up or something like that. I'd come out here and it would remind me how irrelevant it all was in the grand scheme of things."

Kate nodded against him. "Yeah, it makes you think. Grounds you a bit."

"In that case, what's going on in that mind of yours?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Just thinking about life. About us and how far we've come."

"It's still pretty unbelievable at times," he agreed. "Not that I'm complaining."

"It is," she murmured in agreement.

"Want to go for a walk?" Castle suggested after a bit.

"Sure." They untangled themselves and interlaced their fingers as they began to walk along the beach, the waves rolling over their feet.

Castle had no idea how long they strolled along, hand in hand, but he knew he could have walked forever with her. They had had their share of struggles and a couple of fights, but right here, right now, he felt as though things could not be more perfect. They were both happy, relaxed, and thoroughly enjoying themselves. They were on vacation, together, with his family, and she fit in perfectly. They had finally reached the point where they could be completely honest and open with each other about their feelings, and their relationship was beginning to feel more permanent, which was exactly what Castle wanted. And although it was still too soon to talk about it, he hoped that it was what Kate wanted too.

* * *

Almost an hour had passed by the time Castle and Kate made it back to the house. They had spent most of their walk lost in thought, occasionally talking quietly, but there was just something comforting about being there with each other, and the silence was not at all awkward. Judging by the lights inside, Alexis and Ashley were clearly playing laser tag all over the house, so the two of them decided to stay outside for now. Castle headed to the garage and retrieved a couple of blankets and they spread them out on the beach, one underneath and one on top of them, and laid back to look up at the stars. The sky was almost perfectly clear, and Kate surprised him by sharing some of her astronomy knowledge, pointing out various constellations.

As she talked, Castle reached over and wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders, pulling her to him. She looked at him and the look in his eyes made her completely lose her train of thought. It was a combination of surprise, admiration, and pure love. "Wh-what?" she stuttered.

"You," he said, kissing her forehead, "are a constant surprise. Where did you learn all of this?" She smiled almost wistfully, and Castle could tell by the look in her eyes where the knowledge had come from. "Your mother was into astronomy?" he asked before she had a chance to figure out what to say.

"How did you…?"

Castle reached out and cupped her cheek. "It's all over your face," he said.

To say that Kate was shocked would have been an understatement. She was so used to being able to hide things from people, and she usually had a pretty good poker face, but right now, she doubted that she would ever be able to beat him in poker again. His touch snapped her out of her shock and she finally managed to formulate an answer. "It was one of her hobbies," she explained tentatively. "When I was little, we would go stargazing and she would teach me the constellations and we would make up stories about them, kind of like the Native American legends. I know it seems silly, but…." She glanced at his face, expecting to see a look of judgment, but was met only with one of tenderness.

"It's not silly," he said. "Not at all. It's really sweet, actually. We all have memories of childhood that we cherish."

Kate studied him and could see the sincerity in his features. It seemed as though everything he learned about her only made him love her more and she was not used to that feeling. "You know, I've never told anyone that," she admitted.

"Well I'm glad you shared it with me," he said. Kate leaned in and kissed him briefly before settling back down against him and returning her gaze to the sky. He snuggled closer to her, turning his head to press a kiss to the side of her neck before whispering, "Tell me a story."

* * *

Everyone slept in the next morning, enjoying the fact that they finally could stay in bed past ten o'clock. Alexis and Ashley had played laser tag until well past midnight, Martha had been too caught up in her novel to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and Castle and Kate had laid on the beach until almost two a.m., gazing at the stars and making up stories, reliving a portion of Kate's childhood.

After a late breakfast-actually it was more of brunch at this point-Martha headed off to visit an old friend who had a house just up the road while Alexis challenged the others to a game of beach volleyball. It was a tradition, although usually just between Castle and his daughter, but he was anxious to see how it would go with the new additions. He had a feeling that Kate was probably secretly good at volleyball too.

They headed outside into the morning sun and Alexis and Ashley began to set up the nets while Castle jogged back inside in search of more sunscreen. It was already warming up nicely and he did not want anyone to turn into a lobster by the end of the day. By the time he found another bottle and headed back outside, the net was already set up and Alexis and Ashley had stripped down to their swimsuits and were hitting the ball back and forth.

As he approached the beach, Kate slipped off her t-shirt, and Castle could not help but stare. She was wearing a dark blue bikini top that showed off her gorgeous curves but left exactly the right amount to the imagination. He walked up behind her with the sunscreen, but instead of offering it to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "How am I going to keep my hands off of you all day?"

Kate turned around in his arms and smiled. "Because I'm the one with the gun," she reminded him. "And Alexis and Ashley are here."

"Oh you ruin all my fun plans," Castle teased. "And I don't think there's anywhere for you to hide a gun right now." He waggled his eyebrows before holding up the sunscreen. "Want some help?"

"I guess I could use a hand," she said in a sultry tone.

Castle poured the sunscreen on his hands and began rubbing them across her back, unable to stop himself from running them along her sides and around to her stomach as well. She took the bottle from him and coated the rest of herself before lotioning up his back for him, taking full advantage of the opportunity to torture him by running her fingertips around to the front of his hips, trailing them just under the edge of the waistband of his swim trunks.

"You are _such_ a tease," he said.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He turned around to respond just in time to see her taking off her shorts, revealing the other half of her bikini-and all of her long legs-and any words he had planned to say disappeared from his brain completely. He was barely able to breathe as he somehow managed to reach out and gently place his hands on her hips. He pulled her close, making no effort to disguise the fact that he could not take his eyes off of her. "You are so gorgeous," he whispered, gently caressing the skin above her hipbones. "Don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise."

She smiled and ran a hand down his bare chest. "You're not so bad yourself," she said softly, leaning her forehead against his before leaning in to kiss him. "Now come on, I believe we have a game to win." Giving him a quick pat on the butt, she turned and sauntered away, fully aware that Castle was probably standing slack-jawed and rooted to the spot. She loved that she could do that to him with a simple touch. Glancing back over her shoulder, she confirmed that she was correct before calling, "Rick, you coming?"

As he watched her retreating figure, there was only one thought running through Castle's brain; _how did I get so lucky?_ Of all the cops that could have walked into his book release party and it ended up being the woman of his dreams. He was so incredibly thankful that she had finally chosen him and moments like this made him wonder what he had done to deserve someone like her. She truly was extraordinary.

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he finally convinced his legs to function so he could jog to catch up with her. He easily could have stood there admiring her all day, but right now they had a game of beach volleyball to play and Alexis and Ashley were waiting.

* * *

After three games of volleyball—all of which Alexis and Ashley won-the four of them headed inside, sweaty and exhausted, to freshen up before dinner. By the time Castle and Kate managed to get out of the shower almost an hour later, Martha was home and Ashley and Alexis were eagerly waiting for the evening festivities to begin.

Castle made a quick stop by the garage to gather supplies before heading around to the back of the house to start building a bonfire. Every year he tried to outdo himself and as Alexis saw the pile of wood he and Kate had gathered the previous day, she began to fear for the surrounding trees. "Dad, are you planning to catch the whole forest on fire?" she asked, indicating the tower of wood.

"Why do you all have such little faith in me and my abilities?" he asked with a mock pout. "I know what I'm doing."

"Because you don't usually know what you're doing," Alexis said.

He turned to Kate. "Back me up here," he said. "I know what I'm doing."

"I don't know," Kate teased. "I might have to agree with Alexis on this one."

He turned back to his daughter. "Give me one example?"

"Deep frying a turkey," she said without missing a beat.

"Say what?" Ashley asked with interest.

"Oh no you don't!" Castle exclaimed.

"You know what, Dad," Alexis said. "How about we leave you here to build the fire and you can show us your skills and in the meantime, the rest of us will have story time."

"Awww, that's not fair," he whined. He really did sound like a four year old.

Kate whacked him in the arm. "You're ridiculous," she said. "Go build a fire and prove all of us wrong."

"Fine." He pretended to stalk away and three eye-rolls were aimed at his retreating figure as he headed towards the wood pile.

Ten minutes later, Alexis, Ashley and Kate were laughing hysterically as Castle approached them, waving hot dog roasters in the air. He stopped abruptly when he heard their laughter and they looked up expectantly. "You know I was going to announce that the bonfire is ready," he said. "But now that I know you're laughing about me, maybe I'll just roast hot dogs by myself."

"Right," Kate snorted. "You, by yourself for any extended period of time. We all know that never happens."

"We weren't even laughing at you," Alexis added.

"Why do I not believe you?"

"Actually, we were laughing at _me_," Kate said, knowing that would get him to snap out of it.

"Huh?" he said. "I don't think I have ever heard a story about you that made me laugh _that_ hard."

"Well maybe once you feed me I'll tell it again," she offered.

Castle seized the opportunity and sidled up to her so he could whisper in her ear. "Are you sure its food you want from me?" Alexis and Ashley took this chance to sneak away, sensing that whatever was about to happen was not something they wanted to watch.

"Right now, yes," she said, completely unfazed, before lowering her voice. "But tonight I'm sure I'll have plenty of energy." She gave a wicked smile and took advantage of his slack-jawed state to snag the roasters from his hand and walk back over to the fire pit.

He had been right about one thing, Kate thought as she approached the pit. He knew how to make a huge bonfire. Too huge, in fact, and she realized that there was no way they could get close enough to roast hot dogs without roasting themselves in the process.

"How exactly does he expect us to do this?" Ashley asked, voicing Kate's concerns as he and Alexis took the roasters that Kate was handing them.

"I was wondering the same thing," she said.

"Well Dad's idea of roasting hotdogs involves setting them on fire, so he usually just sticks them right in the flames," Alexis explained.

"And for those of us who don't like burnt hotdogs?" Kate asked.

"We snack on these instead," Martha said, appearing behind them carrying a large container of potato salad, a tray of vegetables, and a bag of potato chips. "There are drinks in the cooler," she added, nodding towards the back porch.

"I can go grab it if you'd like," Ashley offered and he hurried over to the porch to bring it over.

By this point, Castle had finally managed to calm down enough to rejoin the party and he snuck up behind Kate who was digging into the vegetable tray. He slid his hands up under the hem of her shirt and ghosted his fingers across her stomach as he said in a low voice, "_you_ are cruel."

Kate shivered at the sensation despite her efforts to appear unaffected by him. However, she knew it would not go unnoticed, so she gave in and leaned in to him, pushing her body into his more than was probably necessary. "How so?" she asked, proud at how steady her voice was.

"You paraded around in a swimsuit all morning and wouldn't even let me touch you," he began. "You climbed in the shower with me. You tease me constantly."

"You love it," Kate replied. "And need I remind you what happened in the shower. It's not teasing if I follow through on it."

Castle grinned at the memory. "Oh my dearest detective, you most certainly do."

"So what's the problem?" she asked teasingly.

"Well other than the fact that my daughter is right over there and my shorts suddenly feel a bit tight…."

"Then maybe you should cut back on the junk food," she said, deliberately ignoring his true meaning.

After looking around to make sure no one else was watching, he slid his hands further up her torso, running his fingers along the bottom edge of her bra before removing his hands and stepping back away from her. "Cruel," he muttered, helping himself to some veggies. This time, it was Kate who was left standing in shock as he headed over to tend the fire.

* * *

Four hours later, the fire was finally dying down and the five of them were perched on logs, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories. Well, more accurately, Castle was telling ghost stories that were becoming progressively more ridiculous and the rest of them were alternately laughing and rolling their eyes.

As Kate reached for another marshmallow, she reflected on how long it had been since she had done something like this. She had gone camping with her family when she was much younger, but since becoming a cop she rarely took the time to get away from the city and enjoy the beauty of nature. But here with Castle she was remembering how much fun it could be and she promised herself that she would do it more often. She knew that Castle would take her anywhere at any time and although she tended to avoid anything that took advantage of his fame and obscene amounts of money, this offer might just be one she would have to take him up on. She could easily see them spending weekends here, relaxing and enjoying the sunshine, and she knew she would never tire of it.

Gradually the evening wound down. The fire, in which they must have burned at least half of a tree, was now mostly embers and Castle had finally run out of even the most ridiculous ideas for ghost stories. They sat there in silence, mesmerized by the glowing coals and enjoying the stillness of the night. Every once in a while, bats would flutter around them and they even heard the call of an owl in the distance.

Martha was the first to break the silence. "Well, it's late, I'm off to bed," she announced, standing up. "Good night."

Alexis and Ashley followed not long after, leaving Kate and Castle sitting next to each other, their heads leaning together and their fingers intertwined. "How do you ever go back to the city after this?" Kate asked, lifting her head to look at him.

"It's hard," Castle admitted. "But I guess I just know that I can always come back on the weekends."

"It's just so….I get so caught up in the city that I forget that places like this exist," she admitted.

"Well we can come back whenever you want, Kate," he said. "If it's my house, it's your house."

She was struck by the implications of that statement and the seriousness and permanence that it conveyed, but for the first time ever, she found that she was not at all freaked out by it. She wanted to come back here with him. She wanted them to share these aspects of their lives with each other. She trusted him completely and she loved him more than she thought it was possible to love another person. She wanted him, and everything that came with him, forever. And even though she had suspected that for a while, and had tentatively admitted it to Lanie over a month ago, she now knew with certainty that this was it. It had not been easy, and they had had their share of issues, just like he said they would, but they had made it through and every time they did, it only made their connection stronger.

"Thank you," she whispered after a moment.

She knew what was coming, but even so, she still choked up when the word came out of his mouth. "Always."


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: All I can say is wow! When I posted this story, I had written seven chapters (including this one because I knew how I wanted the story to end) and I figured that would be it. Now here we are, thirteen chapters and over 300 reviews later, and I can't believe how far this story has come! I never intended it to be this long but all of you inspired me to keep writing and I have had so much fun doing so. A HUGE thank you to everyone who ever read/alerted/favorited/reviewed this fic. You guys amaze me with your support and encouragement, and even though I didn't have a chance to respond to most of the reviews, I promise you that I read every single one of them! Although this is the last chapter of this fic (and I admit, I am sad to be done with it, but I knew when I started that this was where I wanted it to end), I plan to start a new one soon. I actually have a couple ideas in my head right now and as soon as I figure out how to get them down on paper I'll post them! And now, I bring you the final chapter. I'm really happy with how it ends and I hope you guys like it too! Enjoy!_

**Chapter 20**

Sunday was a day of relaxation at the beach house. All five of them spent the morning and afternoon outside, relaxing, reading, talking, playing games, and soaking up the sun. As the sun climbed higher and higher in the sky, Kate put her book aside and layed back onto one of the blankets they had spread out. She was once again wearing only a bikini and Castle did not miss a beat as he scooted over and cuddled up next to her, trailing his hands across her soft skin. His fingers left a trail of goosebumps in their wake and she marveled at how the smallest actions still affected her so strongly. It was something she was sure she would never get used to.

They talked quietly for a while about nothing in particular before falling into a comfortable silence as they lay there snuggled together. Kate was relatively certain she was going to have hand-shaped tan lines on her the next day but she did not really care. There was no way she was going to ask Castle to let go of her. At some point, they both fell asleep, not even waking when Martha brought out lunch fixings. The other three decided to let them be and after snapping a few pictures, they made some sandwiches and dug into the leftover potato salad from the night before.

When Castle and Kate awoke from their unintentional nap an hour later, they sat up to find Alexis and Ashley swimming in the surf and Martha laying on a beach towel and talking on the phone. After reapplying their sunscreen-which, with Castle involved took _much_ longer than it should have-they joined Ashley and Alexis in the water, swimming around for a bit and eventually playing a game of volleyball in the water this time. However, the game did not last long, as Castle took every opportunity he had to disappear underwater and play tricks on everyone, including picking Alexis up and draping her over his shoulder, tackling Ashley, and pulling Kate's feet out from under her, causing her to fall face-first into the water.

"Castle!" she shrieked when she surface, shaking her head and sending water flying in his direction.

"Yes?" he asked innocently. And suddenly the beach ball was forgotten as a full-blown wrestling match took over. In the end, Kate, Alexis and Ashley all ganged up on Castle and he found himself being dragged out of the water by his hands and feet and dumped unceremoniously on the beach.

He sat up and attempted to wriggle the sand out of his swim shorts while the other three resumed their game. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Castle decided that going back in the water was the only way to get all of the sand out so he went for a little swim, purposely ending up right back in the middle of the game. Unfortunately for him, the others refused to hit the ball to him and they ended up playing a very amusing game of keep-away which gave Castle's inner child ample opportunities to whine and complain.

At some point, Kate took pity on him and hit the ball to him but he was not paying attention and took the shot right in the face. After an overly dramatic crash into the water-one that was met by multiple eye rolls-he finally decided that the game was not for him and volunteered to go make dinner instead, leaving Kate to hang out with the two teenagers.

They played in the water for a while longer before heading back up to the beach to join Martha. Kate took the chance to get to know a bit more about Ashley since she had not spent very much time with him. He was also very curious about what it was like to be a cop so she shared some stories with him, making an effort to stick to the lighter and funnier moments. Martha also took her turn, sharing stories of Castle as a boy but adding in her usual dramatic flair. At one point, Kate found herself laughing to hard she thought her sides might split open.

A while later, Castle announced dinner and the four of them joined him up on the deck where he had just finished grilling up chicken and vegetables for kabobs. Dinner was followed by ice cream sundaes, complete with the choice of five flavors of ice cream and just about every topping Kate had ever heard of. Leave it to Castle to go overboard on dessert. However, after the first bite, Kate realized that she should not complain. It was absolutely delicious. Even if she would have to work out extra hard for the next week. Although now that she thought about it, she had been getting some pretty good workouts lately, and she was sure Castle would not mind adding in a few more. She looked up then and caught his eye. She was still wearing just her bikini and he was grinning at her, but as she looked more closely, she found that his grin was not entirely directed at her face. _Yeah,_ she thought, taking a bite of ice cream and deliberately making a show of licking the spoon, _I can definitely convince him to help me work this off._

* * *

That night was the last night of their vacation-they would be heading back to the city in the morning-and Kate and Castle were sitting in the sand, their backs leaning against the wooden patio of his beach house, watching as dusk approached. Once it was dark, Castle promised to pull out the illegal fireworks to give summer a proper welcoming, but in the meantime, everyone was enjoying the evening. Martha had gone inside to make margaritas and Alexis and Ashley were nourishing their inner four-year-olds by engaging in what could only be described as a sand fight. They both laughed as they watched Alexis stuff a handful of sand down the back of Ashley's shirt, causing him to turn around and tackle her into the sand.

Kate sighed happily and leaned against Castle's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. "It's so peaceful out here," she observed. "I'm glad you invited me."

"I'm glad you came," Castle said. "After last year, I didn't think I'd ever have a chance to bring you here." Kate tensed and pulled away from him a bit. "What?" he asked, suddenly regretting bringing that up. It had been a painful memory for him, but he had not thought she would react to it like that.

"I've been wanting to tell you this for a while but I never knew how to bring it up," she began. Castle looked at her, his face a combination of expectancy, worry, and confusion. She looked away briefly to try to maintain her composure before meeting his eyes and continuing. "I would have come with you." Despite her attempts, the words came out as barely more than a whisper.

"What?" That was the last thing Castle was expecting to hear.

"I would have come. To the Hamptons. That's why Tom and I broke up."

Castle's mouth dropped open. "You….you broke up with him before I even left?"

"Right before your party," she said, looking away again. "I told him I couldn't go to his beach house. That he wasn't what I wanted. I was going to tell you that but then…." Kate trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid.

"I'm so sorry, Kate." Castle felt like an ass. He knew he had upset her by not calling over the summer, but now he understood exactly why she had been so mad at him when he came back. Why everyone had been so mad at him. "I had no idea."

"It's ok," she replied. "You had no way of knowing that we broke up."

"No, it's not," Castle said. He took her hands. "I never meant to hurt you Kate. And I'm so sorry." He knew how she must have felt when she watched him walk away with Gina; it was exactly the way he had felt after seeing Demming kiss her.

"Really," she said. "It's ok. Part of me thinks it's better this way." Castle looked at her questioningly and she continued. "Last year I don't think I would have been ready for this. I don't think I would have been ready for there to be an us."

"I…." Castle did not know what to say. The fact that he had hurt her without even realizing it made him sick. But so did the thought of them going to the Hamptons last year and then having her turn him down after spending the weekend together. That would have hurt him worse than the fact that she had been with Demming.

"Rick, I promise," she said. "It's okay. Yes, it hurt me, but I know it hurt you that I was with Demming, so we're even. And if you hadn't left, I don't know that I ever would have admitted to myself that I had feelings for you."

He hesitated, then decided that he might as well share his side too. "To be honest, until I saw you with him, I don't think I would have admitted my feelings for you either. Or at least I wouldn't have tried to do anything about them."

"See?" she said. "It may not have been fun to experience but it all worked out in the end."

"All right," he said, although he did not sound entirely convinced. "I don't like that it happened that way, but if that's what it took to get us to be here right now, then I guess I'll have to accept it."

"Yes, you will." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way." As he thought back to everything they had been through, he could not help but agree with that statement. The good, the bad, and everything in between; even the most difficult of situations were manageable when they were together. When he was with Kate, Castle felt like he could take on the world. Together, they could make it through anything.

This time, he initiated the kiss, hoping to simultaneously convey another apology for having hurt her as well as gratitude that things had finally worked out between them. When they separated, he patted the ground between his legs. She scooted over and sat down, leaning her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. She placed her hands over his and intertwined their fingers and rested her head on his shoulder, pressing their cheeks together.

After a moment he leaned forward and kissed her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. It never got old watching her body react to his every touch. "I love you so much," he whispered, nuzzling her ear.

She smiled and leaned into him even more. She knew she would never tire of hearing him say those words. "I love you too," she whispered.

With Castle holding her, Kate felt completely relaxed, like she was a million miles away from the murder and mayhem that usually took over her life. They settled into comfortable silence, watching as the last rays of light faded away. Kate took in the perfectness of the evening with a smile as the first stars began to appear. Alexis and Ashley were walking now, hand in hand, at the water's edge. She had become much closer to Alexis recently and she had very much enjoyed getting to know Ashley over the past couple of days. She was feeling a sense of belonging she had never felt before and it warmed her heart.

Martha returned then with the margaritas, smiling at the sight of the two of them cuddled together. She handed them their drinks and then sat down on the edge of the patio to take in the beauty of the night. Kate took a drink before setting her glass aside. She felt Castle squeeze her a little tighter and a sigh of contentment escaped her. If anyone had told her three years ago that she would be sitting in Richard Castle's arms at his beach house with his mother and daughter and daughter's boyfriend, she would have had them committed. Now, three years later, he had given her something she thought she would never have again after her mother's death. He had given her a family.

**THE END**

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	21. Epilogue

_Author's Note: Surprise! Yes, I know, I finished this story almost a month ago. And I was pretty sure that I was going to be completely done with it, but sometimes the inspiration strikes, you know? I had quite a few people hint that they would be interested in a sequel, and since I don't actually have one of those planned, I decided to turn my sudden burst of inspiration into an epilogue...consider it a compromise, I guess. You guys definitely deserve it for sticking with me the whole way! Enjoy! _

**Epilogue**

**Memorial Weekend 2012 (One year later)**

Kate stepped out onto the porch and shielded the sun with her hands as she searched for Castle. Squinting into the sunrise, she spotted him a ways away, squatting in the sand, and for a moment she thought he was making a sand castle. She kicked off her sandals and padded towards him, relishing the feel of the sand beneath her feet. As she neared him she saw that he was holding a stick and it appeared as though he was drawing a picture.

He placed the finishing touches on whatever he was doing and stood up to admire his handiwork before glancing up at her. "Hey," he said and Kate almost thought he sounded nervous.

"Hey," she responded as he walked over to her, stopping in front of her and blocking her view. "What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"Writing, of course," he said. "I mean I _am_ an author."

"And what? You couldn't find any paper?" she teased.

"Well I wouldn't say that, exactly." He stepped aside allowing her to see what he had done.

Kate's mouth dropped open as her brain registered what she was seeing. She had read every single one of Castle's books, some of them multiple times, but there on the ground in front of her were the four sweetest words he had ever written.

_WILL YOU MARRY ME?_

Kate's eyes filled with tears as she looked up to find Castle down on one knee on the ground next to her, gazing at her expectantly. She nodded her head frantically, unable to choke out a simple one syllable word. She could not believe that after all this time he could still render her speechless, especially at the one moment that she most needed to respond.

Her nod was all he needed and before she knew what was happening she found herself wrapped in a giant bear hug. She squeezed him tightly as he picked her up and spun her in a circle, before setting her gently back on her feet.

She loosened her grip on him enough that she could lean back and meet his eyes and she could tell that he had teared up as well. "Yes," she finally managed, smiling through her tears, and he kissed her sweetly before pulling away and taking her left hand in his. Kate watched him pull a ring from his pocket and slip it onto her finger. Everything looked blurry but she could tell that the ring had a white gold band with an inset of five diamonds, the middle one being the largest. It was simple yet elegant and not at all over-the-top as she had always expected from him. In short, it was perfect.

He watched anxiously as she admired it, hoping that he had made the right choice. He knew she was not into flashy and expensive things so he had opted for something smaller and more modest. "Do you like it?" he asked nervously.

"I love it, Rick," she breathed, pulling him to her and kissing him again. "It's perfect." They quickly lost themselves in the kiss, pouring all of their emotions into it. Only when air became a necessity did they finally break apart.

A movement off to the side suddenly caught Kate's eye and she turned to find Martha and Alexis not far away, grinning broadly. "They were watching weren't they?" she asked, turning back to Castle.

"I may have given Alexis my camera," he said, grinning.

Kate was about to protest when she suddenly found herself wrapped up by a small arm and a lot of red hair. Alexis hugged them both tightly, jumping up and down in excitement as she did so. She finally pulled away and looked up at her father. "Told you she'd say yes," she said happily.

Meanwhile, Martha approached them and pulled Kate into a tight hug. "Welcome to the family, kiddo," she said.

"Thank you, Martha," Kate said with a smile, Martha's words warming her heart.

After a moment, Alexis came bounding back over to Kate, camera in hand, insisting that they take pictures of the writing in the sand and the ring as well as a few posed pictures of the two of them. By the time Alexis finished, Kate's face hurt from smiling so much, but every time she caught a glimpse of the shining diamonds on her finger, she could not help but grin like a little kid.

While Alexis was looking over some of the photographs, Kate peered over Castle's shoulder just in time to see him typing something on his phone. "Please tell me you're not putting this on Twitter," she said.

"Of course not," he said. "I was just letting our fan club know that we're throwing a party." He matched her giddy grin and pulled her in for another searing kiss.

"Wait, fan club," Kate sputtered as they separated.

"You know, the people we work with every day who have been waiting for this moment since the day we met," he answered teasingly.

"They knew?"

"That I was going to ask you? No," he replied. "I told them to plan on coming out here for an afternoon to celebrate. And now that you said yes, I was just making it a definite. But they have no idea what we're celebrating. "

"Who all is coming?" Kate asked hesitantly. She had not expected to have a party right away.

"Just Ryan, Jenny, Esposito, Lanie, Ashley and his parents, and your father," he replied.

"Feeling pretty confident of my answer, were you?" she teased.

"Not really," he admitted. "I was more on the terrified end of the spectrum. But since they just think I invited them for no real reason, they would never have had to know."

"Well you have nothing to worry about," Kate said, pulling him in for another kiss. This one was much more fiery and passionate and it quickly made both of them forget where they were.

"Ahem…." Kate and Castle jumped apart and looked over to see Alexis standing with her hands on her hips, an amused expression on her face. "You guys are sickeningly adorable," she said. "But maybe right here is not the place."

"Sorry," Kate said sheepishly, but she was unable to stop smiling.

"So….the pictures?" Castle asked, attempting to diffuse the awkwardness. "How do they look?"

"Really good," Alexis exclaimed. "But I was thinking we could put it on self-timer and get some of all four of us together."

"How about just you three and I'll take the pictures," Martha suggested.

"Skipping out on an attempt to be captured on camera? Mother, what has gotten into you?" Castle teased.

"Nonsense, darling, I was just….okay, fine, we'll put it on the timer, but first let's actually get one with you two and Alexis," Martha replied, taking the camera from the young girl.

Ten minutes later, they were finished with pictures and Alexis and Martha headed back up to the house to prepare for the afternoon's festivities. Their guests would not be arriving for at least four more hours, so Castle and Kate took the time to relax in the sand. Castle sat down and Kate plopped down next to him, her ring catching the sunlight again and shimmering brightly. A huge smile spread across her face once again and Castle wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, nuzzling her neck.

"We're getting married, Rick," she said, her voice sounding almost foreign to her own ears. She had always dreamed of this but now that it was a reality, she could not believe it was actually happening. She was engaged.

"I know," he grinned. "I can't believe it!"

"Me neither," she murmured, leaning into him more heavily. "I don't think it's sunk in yet." She admired her ring again, suddenly wondering when she had become such a girl.

"You do like it, don't you?" Castle asked worriedly. "It's not too much?"

"Rick, I love it, I told you that," she responded quickly. "I just couldn't see it clearly before because I was crying."

"Just making sure," he said. They fell into silence again, leaning against each other, and were interrupted a few minutes later by a text from Lanie, asking if she needed to bring anything.

_A swimsuit and an appetite,_ Castle replied, before setting his phone aside and laying back into the sand, pulling Kate with him.

"You're not mad at me for planning the party, are you?" he asked suddenly.

"No, although I wish you'd told me that you'd invited them out here," she admitted. "But I'm excited to tell everybody."

"Me too," he enthused, kissing her again. They separated after a moment and lay there in the sand, watching as the sun slowly climbed higher in the sky, before returning to the house to help prepare for the afternoon.

* * *

Esposito and Lanie were the first ones to arrive and as they walked around the side of the house, they were met by the delicious smell of hamburgers grilling. Castle, Kate, Martha, and Alexis were arranging food on two large tables that had been set up on the beach.

"Hey guys," Esposito called out as they neared, and everyone looked up happily.

"Hey," Castle yelled back. "Glad you made it!"

"This is awesome, bro," Esposito said, looking around as he neared the group. "I could totally live here."

"Me too," Castle grinned. "You guys found the place without any trouble?"

Esposito nodded and was about to say something when Lanie let out a high-pitched squeal and engulfed Kate in a giant bear hug.

"What the….?" Esposito asked, looking questioningly at Castle, who just smiled.

"Oh my God," Lanie exclaimed as she put Kate back down on her feet. "Let me see it!"

"See what?" Kate could not resist the opportunity to tease her friend, but was unable to suppress the grin that once again spread across her face.

"Girl, don't mess with me," Lanie said. "Left hand."

At that, Esposito whipped around suddenly, seeming to catch up to Lanie's train of thought. "No way, really?"

"Yeah," Castle grinned.

"When?"

"This morning,"

"Congrats, bro," Esposito said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Thanks!"

"Story time," Lanie said eagerly as she finally returned Kate's left hand.

"Later," Kate promised, holding up her hand to prevent any argument. "Once every one is here, I'll tell the story." Lanie looked disappointed, but she relented and opted instead to look around. "You want to see the house?" Kate asked, following Lanie's eyes.

"Sure." The two headed inside, Lanie talking enthusiastically about the impending wedding.

"So when are you thinking? Spring wedding, fall wedding…?" she asked excitedly.

"Lanie, he asked me this morning," Kate exclaimed. "I haven't had time to think about anything. Actually," she corrected, "I haven't had the _ability_ to think about anything."

"I believe it," Lanie said. "You look so happy. I knew the moment I saw you that something was up."

"My face hurts from smiling so much," Kate admitted. "And I feel like a giddy teenager."

"Oh, girl, you've got it bad," Lanie said teasingly.

"I know," Kate said. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

An hour later, the party was in full swing. Everyone had arrived and after a lot of squeals and hugs and smiles, they were all standing around the grill, drinking lemonade and listening as Kate finally recounted the proposal. Alexis even brought out her laptop, on which she had downloaded the pictures, and they all gathered around to see them. Kate and Castle watched with interest as well, as they had not actually seen any of them yet. There were pictures of Castle drawing in the sand, and pictures of Kate approaching him. There were pictures of him down on one knee, of Kate saying yes, of them hugging and kissing, and of him putting the ring on her finger. But Kate's favorite picture of all was the one from after all of this, where they were standing, arms still wrapped around each other, staring lovingly into each other's eyes. A thousand words had been silently communicated in that moment, and it summed up their relationship perfectly.

As they reached the last picture, Kate found herself tearing up again at the memory. Castle noticed right away and leaned closer. "You okay?" he whispered in her ear.

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm just really happy."

He smiled back at her. "Me too," he said softly, pulling her into a hug. "Me too."

By evening, the party had died down a bit. After looking at pictures, they had eaten lunch, followed by an afternoon of games and swimming. Castle had even pulled out the beach volleyball net again, and discovered, much to his amusement, that Ryan and Esposito were absolutely terrible at the game. Martha and Jim had bonded surprisingly well, and Castle was thrilled to see that they also seemed to be getting along with Ashley's parents. The two teens seemed to be vying with Ryan and Esposito for title of "life of the party," but so far, the detectives were failing miserably. Not only did Esposito hit Ryan in the back of the head with the volleyball, but Ryan managed to face plant into the net, knocking one of the poles over in the process. It was entertaining, however, and everyone seemed to be very much enjoying themselves.

* * *

By six o'clock, the games had long been forgotten and everyone was standing around the back porch, snacking on the remaining food and enjoying the cool evening air. They chatted for hours, sharing stories and just relaxing. It was almost sunset before everyone headed back to the city, leaving only Castle, Martha, Alexis, Kate, and Jim Beckett.

"Would you guys like a hand?" Jim asked as they began to clean up the mess.

"Nonsense, you're the guest here," Martha said, stacking a pile of dishes and taking them into the kitchen.

Jim seemed to know better than to argue, so instead he headed over to his daughter who was leaning against the railing, looking out over the ocean.

"Hey," she said as he joined her.

"You doing alright?" Jim asked.

"Of course," Kate replied. "Why?"

"You just looked lost in thought or something," he observed.

"Just….thinking about everything," she said. "I still can't even believe it."

"Neither can I," Jim admitted. "My little Katie, all grown up." He smiled wistfully.

"I think I've been all grown up for a while," Kate chuckled.

"I know you have, it's just…." Jim hesitated, "it's hard to watch your little baby grow up. Someday you'll understand." Kate snapped back to reality as her father's words sunk in. Would she understand some day? Did she want to have kids? Her job was not conducive to motherhood, but a part of her had always wanted to be a mom. And there was no doubt that Castle was a wonderful father. After a few moments, Jim spoke again, tearing Kate from her internal debate. "Well, I suppose I should head home. It's getting dark and I've got a bit of a drive."

"You sure you're okay driving at night?" she asked, forcing herself to focus on the present. "I'm sure you could stay here, Rick wouldn't mind."

"No, no, that's okay," Jim assured her. "I'll be fine."

Jim said his good-byes, saving Rick and Kate for last. "You're so good for her," he said as he and Castle embraced. "You make her happy. Keep her safe and treat her right."

"You have my word," Castle said seriously as they separated. "Have a safe drive home."

Jim hugged his daughter then, pulling her to him tightly. "I'm so happy for you sweetie," he said softly. "And I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"I love you too, Dad." Kate watched as her father headed towards his car, realizing that she now understood how Castle felt as Alexis was growing up more and more. She was getting married. She was moving to a new stage in her life, and while it thrilled her, it also terrified her as she thought of what she was potentially leaving behind. But in the end, it was completely worth it. She had a family now, a home, a wonderful step-daughter, a very unique mother-in-law, and a fiancé who loved her more than anything and would give her the world if he could. She thought of her mother then, of what she would think about these recent developments. She knew Castle and her mother would have gotten along so well, and she wished, not for the first time, that they could have had the chance to meet. The ring on her finger reflected the light from the porch and she thought ahead to her wedding day. Her mother would not be there, a fact that Kate had never been willing to accept, but now it was becoming reality. And although it would be difficult, she knew that Castle's family-her family now-would be there to help her through every step of the way.

Kate was so caught up in her thoughts that she did not even hear Castle approach her. He had finished helping Martha and Alexis clean up and they had retired to their bedrooms, deciding to leave the couple alone for the evening. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her hair. She relaxed into him, her head dropping back onto his shoulder and her fingers intertwining with his.

He kissed her temple. "What's going on in there?"

"Just thinking," she said. "About my mom," she added softly after a moment. "Today made me really miss her. Thinking about everything that's changing in my life and how she's never going to see it."

Castle hugged her tighter, knowing that there was not really anything he could say. This was the one pain he knew he could never take away from her, and it killed him to know that. Instead, he simply settled on silently comforting her, being her rock and allowing her to grieve for the loss he knew she carried with her every day.

Castle's fingers were playing with her engagement ring, bringing her thoughts back to the present. She was engaged to Richard Castle. She was going to be married to Richard Castle. It was surreal. She thought back to Lanie's words so many months ago. _I'm not saying it's going to be smooth, girl, but you are in for the ride of your life._ She remembered being terrified about being involved with Castle, scared to death of her feelings for him. Never in a million years did she think that conversation with Lanie would lead to this. _She was right again,_ Kate thought with a smile. It had not been easy. They had their share of issues, including one fight that had almost broken them, but they had worked through it. After her mother's murder, Kate had thought that she could never be happy, but Castle had reminded her that it was possible. He made her happier than anyone had in years, let her know that it was okay to feel, and stood by her every step of the way. She knew she was incredibly lucky to have him and vowed to show him that every single day.

After a few minutes, Kate broke the silence. "I still can't believe it," she whispered, wiggling her finger against his.

"We're getting married," he said happily, kissing her neck. "And you know what that means, right? You're stuck with me forever."

"Don't remind me," Kate teased, and he tickled her stomach in response. "Hey!"

She swatted his hands but he kept them firmly in place, turning her around to face him in the process. "But that also means that I'm stuck with you," he said. "And I can't think of anything better than that."

It was cheesy, and they both knew it, but Kate was used to it by now. She simply rolled her eyes at him. "You're a goof," she joked. "But I love you anyways."

He kissed her then, and it was sweet and gentle and so full of promise for the future. When they separated, they leaned their foreheads together, holding each other close and staring into each other's eyes. No more words were needed right now. Their love was reflected in their eyes and their happiness in the smiles that once again spread across their faces. They stayed there for what felt like hours, silently communicating their love and affection. The stars had come out now, and the moon was shining brightly, but neither one noticed; they were too caught up in each other. Right now, in this moment, the only thing that mattered was them. Everything else could wait until another time.

They were in no hurry.

They had forever.

**THE END (For real this time)**

* * *

_Thoughts?_


End file.
